1. Cross Hairs
The proof is there in the two blue lines. A baby blue plus sign confirms I don't have the flu like I'd hoped. I don't feel joy. I feel sick and not just from what I now know to be morning sickness. To me those faint blue lines look like cross hairs. I turn off the light in my bedroom, lay face down on my bed and wish it to go away. My husband walks in and asks me what I'm doing. No words come out as I hand over the white EPT stick.
1. Cross Hairs
Top Ten Pieces of Baby Advice to Ignore
Someday I'll have to have the "where do babies come from" talk with my children. My oldest is five years old, and I try to work in basic plumbing information about uteruses, penises, eggs, and sperm. I've given him the basics about his parentage, which is a bit complicated. His biological father is not involved, nor is he interested in being. I am divorced from the Daddy he's known since he was born, and he lives with me and my partner, who functions as a step-parent to him.
He also neglects to note that the kids most frequently adopted by same-sex couples tend to be deemed other than desirable by mainstream (straight) society; perhaps he doesn't know enough gay parents to know about the kinds of kids they adopt. One couple in Florida had parented several kids who were HIV positive or living with AIDS for years, some of the children since infancy, only to find themselves in danger of losing those children when that state passed an ant-gay adoption measure. Surely the kids in question were better left in the home they had come to know and love and in which they felt safe - irrespective of the particular stripes of their living room sofa.
I've been thinking about my parents. Namely, if they ever talked about how big of a deal it would be to have a biracial child. I'm guessing they didn't, that they just wanted to have a child together. But sometimes I try to think about what knowledge, if any, they could have given me to go through life as a mixed-race child.
Fortunately, most people who have met my son can look past the labels and see what a beautiful, charming, and mischievous little boy he is. We can only keep friendships with people who are truly interested and respectful of him, friends who embrace him as Ulysses and not as Down syndrome. Since we cannot befriend the whole world and help them to understand that there is no tragedy in having a child with Down syndrome, or any perceived 'disability' for that matter, I have devoted my time and efforts towards work that will educate the general public. In joint efforts with other organizations, we can extend this education and change in conventional wisdom to the rest of the world. I hope that by the time that my son is an adult, he will live in a liberated society that does not impose limitations on him based on his appearance and perceived 'learning differences.'
In the 2004 presidential election, 80% of voters who chose Bush reported their #1 issue as "values."
The Bush administration has purposely changed the meaning of this word to reflect a particular slice of Christianity and a particular set of wedge issues, starting with fertility, abortion and gay rights and extending to science, civil liberties and more.
Gifted young women like Monica dwell in a purgatory of thwarted ambition. They find that while braininess and aggression are not encouraged, artful manipulation is available as the most powerful device in the feminine arsenal. Monica's byzantine designs to further her affair with Clinton are the brilliantly neurotic symptoms of someone, who, as we say, 'has too much time on her hands.' This big girl should have been mentored to run the world, not run little games around the little men who inhabit it.
Nopalitos for dinner? It's okay for mamis to indulge in the prickly green treats, according to Lourdes Alcañiz. During her first pregnancy, Alcañiz kept an ear out for that friendly and trusting voice that was impossible to hear thousands of miles away from friends and family. An award-winning journalist, Alcañiz soon decided to write a book for other expecting mamas to fill that void. That book became Waiting for Bebe: a Pregnancy Guide for Latinas. It includes a helpful appendix chock full of information, and is a handy resource to keep by any new or expecting mother's bedside. Alcañiz took some time out of her busy schedule to chat with me on the phone from Spain.
Steve Burns is the entertainer of children, comrade of the blue dog, the mellow, calming voice, coming from the video machine as I make dinner, make phone calls, breathe. He is my sometimes 15 minute passport to freedom and my kids like him almost as much as I do.