Mediation today.
Whee...
I hate this. It wrecks my whole fucking day every time. I'm supposedly working 'til 2:30, and I can't. Just can't. Just sitting here waiting and steeling myself for bullshit.
Jerkface refuses to communicate with me about anything of import unless we're in front of the mediator, so he says. I guess sending hate mail isn't communicating. I'm too irrational to talk to, he says. He doesn't get that the mediator is just there to write down our agreement and offer us trail mix, intervene if things get abusive. FAX rambles on and pontificates, I watch the clock and count the money it's costing us. I try and steer us on topic, he tells me I'm rambling and pontificating while he watches the clock and counts the money it's costing us.
I hate getting email from him. I get a knot in my stomach every time I see my son's dad's email address in my inbox.
I hate that I let this affect me so much. I should be able to deal, right?
He's an emotionally abusive shithead. He'd take the above sentence and twist it so I looked crazy and incapable. Blah blah blah. You've all heard it before.
What really bugs me is how I let this affect my day/week/month.
gonna slap you.
fwiw: i think that courts, mediators and the like are so so used to seeing this that labels like "irrational" roll right off of them. if he's going on like that, it's obvious to everyone there that he's the one who's irrational. hey and don't forget you have that note as evidence.
i'm sorry this is affecting you so much. i wish it wasn't. it'll come to an end someday.
"I've done a lot of things in my life I ain't too proud of, and the things I am proud of are disgusting." - Mo Szyslak
Hang on Lady! You are almost home free. Pretty soon he won't have a chance to say that you are irrational, crazy or incapable. Funny but my soon to be ex also says that I'm irrational. Guess when everyone knows what a d*ck you are, you can only get back at your child's mother with hateful words.
I guess Mr. rational likes to waste time & money. I'm sure it's just another way he's trying to stick it to ya. I say suggest to him that for every moment he pauses to reflect on a particular point he has to pay for that moment. Oh, I guess I am just as "irrational" as you.
We need to feel the cheer and inspiration of meeting each other, we need to gain the courage and fresh life that comes from the mingling of congenial souls, of those working for the same ends.
Josephine St. Pierre Ruffin
not to let stuff like that affect you. Are things getting any better on parenting issues, or not?
...and yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood.
...and yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood.
thinking of you!
i've got a good story, fwiw...we ended up going to mediation once, years ago. somehow the mediator convinced him to give up half his visitation. he only had it on paper two saturdays overnight a month, then alternate mondays overnight. in two years, he'd never taken a monday visitation, and i didn't want those "on paper" for obvious reasons. the mediator told him, quite reasonably, that he wasn't using that time now, so we should revise it and omit it. she also said (obviously not knowing me or the history here) that i would add it back in later if he wanted it. ha. : )
"mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved"
I was wondering how everything went - I had a reply but it didn't post. not saying goodbye means you''ll see him again. My family always says see you later - in our language there is no word for goodbye.
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Our mediator showed us a draft of the agreement on his computer with a shit-ton of errors in it, and EH & I sat there and did most of the typing...on his crappy DOS word processing program....scary. So I guess it went OK.
I left feeling *really* sad. I mean, yeah, he's been a jerk, but we were also best friends for five years before we were married, and I still love him and miss him. We didn't even say goodbye to each other when we left the office.
Could barely get out of bed this morning.