A little rant here, so as to help myself calm down. So I get home from a 9 hour day seeing psychotherapy patients. REwarding- yes, easy- NO. I am trying to work my ass off for anumber of reasons- mainly so my son and I can have a great summer. Come in w/ his favorite Chinese rice dish- he'd eaten and not hungry- fair e nough. But no "Thanks for buying htat for me mommy." No hug. Didn't even look up from sitter's iphone. Then at dinner "I wish I could earn Magic Cards like K_______ he only has to do 3 chores to earn and you are saying i have to do my c hores all week to earn some." I couldn't have been sweeter on phone w hen I called between clients- saying "Sure we can go get some Magic cards, and just for school week's worth of chores- we don't have to include weekend- I'd be happy to get you some honey." But then I get home and complaining/whining about how I'm not buying it fast enough for his taste. Over my dinner which I am starving for. I'm telling you- I truly work my ass off to give this kid a great life. There are no if, ands or buts about it. Last weekend was a two day overnight extravaganza to Legoland w/ his aforementioned bestfriend, who was also hosted today by me/my sitter. It is safe to say that I sponsor/host more playdates and great fun kid stuff than any of the other parents- by a mile. To then come hom and hear "I want and why can't I have X like K is getting" just made me sour. I said, meanly, badly "Maybe you should go live w/ him since you think it's so great over there. I am sick of being unnappreciated for all I do- no hug when I walk in, no thanks for buying me my favorite CHrinese food, no thanks for offering to take me to buy cards this weekend, let alone even remembering that you just had a dream trip to LEgoland." And I went in my room and closed the door, leaving my 8 year old at bedtime alone. I know this is part fatigue and burn out from work but shit- I do all the "father knows best" did x 10- and I can't even get a hug when I walk in. F this.
And if I had a goddamn partner I wouldn't even care- that's the sad part. I'd be okay- lighter- maybe even laugh it off. N ot fair.
Comments
postscript
He is an unusually sweet kid, and can be very considerate. But lately I think some testosterone has kicked in and I do see this "it's all about me" stuff sometimes. To his credit when we "worked it out" he said "I was being snotty and I'm sorry. You were really sweet saying you'd get me the cards and I shoulnd't have been pushing you... I'm sorry." i said I was sorry I woudl never in a million years want him to live anywhere else. What a long day.... My dad died today 10 years ago. I am so tired.
Sorry your kid was acting
Sorry your kid was acting like an ass. It was great of him to apologize. I'm glad you worked it out.
I just wanted to chime in on your last sentence. I am partnered, and can't imagine how difficult it must be to parent single. However, I don't think you would necessarily, nor should you, care less about this behavior if you have someone else to lean on. I totally get what you mean, though. My almost five year old does this same thing, and even with a partner, I still lose it on her. I think it's good to - it brings them out of their own bubble long enough to see that their actions impact others. It's okay to say, "I do everything for you, and I will continue to do everything for you, but you better appreciate it." You would be doing him a diservice if you didn't tell him that.
Good job, Mama!
www.kimonobaby.blogspot.com
THANKYOU both!!
THANKYOU both!!