Since I have no confidence right now, I have to ask for reassurance. We are a family that vaccinates. However, my husband lost his job back in November and my daughter hasn't been to the doctor for vaxes or anything since her 12 month visit. She's 23 months now. Hubby has a job and we have insurance now, so we're going in for the first time since then. I think her last actual vax was early October.
So when I go in to the doc, are they going to lecture me on how I could have taken her to the free clinic for her shots this whole time and what was I thinking and why am I such a shitty mother? Because seriously, thanks to the mental state I've been in lately, I think I might just burst into tears at the first judgmental-sounding word. I just can't handle that negativity right now.
Or can someone at least give me a few phrases that I can use in response to anything the doc or nurse might say? I know I could have gotten her vaxes for free. I just didn't. I have no excuse, I guess I just didn't think they were super-important. It's not like she's in day care.
just say THAT -- it's been a very stressful year without health coverage & since she was staying home it was not at the top of your priorities during that stressful period. I am hoping they won't even say word one to you, Mama.
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"Do not speak--unless it improves on silence." ~ buddhist saying
(wow - my email on file was so old - it was from the old hipmama email!)
You know, and I bet they won't even say anything. The vaxing thing is just such a big issue right now that I don't want it to be an issue for this visit. I'll bet they won't say anything. I mean, how many kids come in there that have real problems? My daughter is healthy, well-fed, well taken care of, and well loved. So I skipped on the vaxes? So what?
I think I'm just judging my own self so harshly in so many areas these days that I'm starting to let it effect how I am with other people. I also see doctors as people in authority, so I naturally fear their judgment. It'll be alright! Thanks Mama!
"Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth." -Buddha
As far as the actual shots go, here is a really good strategy: tell them you did what you did on purpose. Beyond that - tell yourself you did it on purpose. Seriously. Be bold, believe in your own narrative, and stick with it.
I don't really want to get in to the whole immunisation controversy here. I understand both sides, and my personal choice for my family was to do the shots.
However, and this is key: we did NOT do it on the defined schedule. I didn't think it necessary. Schedules are developed to get the maximum advantage for large units of people. They don't take into account individual families or children.
Confidence is key, but you seriously can just fake it. Smile, act like you are on stage, be a thespian!
And for this particular appointment you will have a cute baby acting as a magic shield. You can almost always derail belligerent nurses or doctors with cuteness. Talk through the baby if necessary - I have many times "managed" medical situations by "translating" so my kids could understand. It feels a little ridiculous but sometimes it is necessary.
Focus on the positive, ignore the rest, and you will be fine!
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I understand both sides, too, and we went with the vaxes. It doesn't go any good to argue about the reasons, though, because everyone has a good reason for what they choose.
What if I just pretended not to know about the free shots? Or what if I knew about the free shots, but she's not in daycare so we chose not to get them? How many kids are in daycare or school who's parents have no insurance? THEY are the ones that need the free shots, not us.
Yes. That will be my attitude. Thanks, Bee!
"Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth." -Buddha
Total confidence. They won't even ask! Remember doctors are people too and they aren't THE authority for your child's health, YOU are the total authority. Good luck and update to tell us how it goes. Remember hipmamas have your back!
I was nervous about this with Buggies (he hadn't had a check up in two & a half years) and then I was nervous at the vets with the dogs for being a month late.
No one lectured me. The pediatrician assured me that it was absolutely no big deal & the nurse said it was totally fine. The vet was paying more attention to the dogs, as he should be, and there was no lecture
No lecture. No questions. They were able to catch her up in one visit, and there were only four. I hate the shots, and I cry every time, but we made it through!
Thanks everyone! I was worried for nothing. Oh, and, her new doctor is so fabulous by the way! And she even complimented me on how I handled my daughter's tantrums. Nice!
"Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth." -Buddha
Hurray!!!!
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Yippee! What a relief!
It's so nice to find a fabulous doctor! How is your babe doing today?
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