Do you feel like a girl?
I just read this great article:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129631536&sc=fb&cc=fp
I like it because I can relate. Maybe not to the point of wanting to become a man, but I certainly have never really felt like a "girl".
When I was young, I always did things that girls did because that's what I was: a girl. Girls wear pink, play with Barbies, and play with their hair. That's what I did. I wanted to fit in.
But I did other things as well: played with trucks, had He-Man action figures, and had a hissy-fit at McDonald's because they put a stupid pony in my Happy Meal instead of a Hot Wheel like my brother. How unfair! (By the way, my dad promptly marched up to the counter and demanded a trade. I got my Hot Wheel!)
As an adult, I still don't feel like a girl. I mean, I wear dresses and I bake cookies. But in reality, I see other girls in the world and I just don't identify with them in any way. In order for me to feel comfortable with another human being I need to sit and talk with them.
I don't identify with men, either. I don't ever feel like I'm in the wrong body, necessarily, but I don't feel like identify with others with the same biology as mine and I don't wish for my body to be more male either.
Though Miles' story in the link above is more extreme than mine, I can still relate. I just don't identify with my prescribed gender. I am a woman, but I'm not a girl. I am female, but I'm not a lady. I don't really identify as a gender at all. I just do what I do, and sometimes it's girly, sometimes it's not.
It's funny to be called a "tomboy". It's as though I'm a girl that tries to be tough or something. I'm not offended, but it's funny to me! We need labels and we need perfect slots. How interesting.
I'm glad that Miles has found a way to feel comfortable with his body. I don't feel uncomfortable with my body, but I do feel uncomfortable with my culture. I don't fit in this world.
How about you? Do you feel like a girl? Not that you do stereotypically girly things, but do you feel your womanness? If you do, what's it like?
"Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth." -Buddha
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i'm not concerned about the labels for it. i do acknowledge how my perceived sex dictates to a large extent how people react to me, but on the most basic level about how i feel and how i identify, i am comfortable just being me and not making any attempt whatsoever to fit in. i've always been that way, and i suspect a lot of people are.
gender identity disorder is something i think modern science simply does not understand. it's definitely real, and it's definitely more complex than wanting to play with action figures or trucks or barbies. but i suspect what we are evolving toward with our understanding of sex and gender is that gender's on a continuum, like sexuality. physically, we are binary but in our brains we are on a scale. like, for real, not like i always liked cooking and identified with my mom, but deeper than that.
that said, i can't get my head around the concept of having the "wrong" body. if your gender identity doesn't "match" your physical sex, so what? then you are a person whose gender identity doesn't match their physical sex, which i'm sure there is a term for but i don't know it. but to me, that's a totally ok way to be and does not need correcting. and having said THAT, i don't grudge people who do change it, it's just that if it were me i doubt i would change my body. or maybe i would, who knows till it happens to them?
It was as clear to me as recognizing different colors.
Boys instinctively did things that I found distasteful. They broke things and hit for fun and touched dead animals. They liked games that required hitting balls with sticks and having things thrown at the players. They smelled sort of funny.
I recall my sister (who has some major gender issues)complaining because the boys in our family could play outside without shirts in the Summer, and we girls had to wear tee-shirts at all times. I wondered why on earth she would ever want to do that. Of course the boys could...they were boys, and completely unlike us...we were girls, we didn't do that sort of thing!
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Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. ~Austin O'Malley
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