gratitude by the bucketfulls - xstina's top 10....
my name really isn't xstina but sometimes i like to sign my name: xsty. things just have a way of working themselves out.
1. so ice cube and snoop dog are coming to the paramount, lady gaga is coming to the tacoma dome? so many choices....i want to see some amazing shows this summer! i will make one of these shows....
2. maybe i'll wear these:
i love sparkly shoes and the silver? just a bonus - nothing makes me happier!
3. william is a genius - i can't thank him enough for editing "Rescue". i am grateful.
i wish i would have asked him on board sooner, he and i are working on the editing again tomorrow. today i logged and captured the missing tape and pulled out the best stills/pieces to use for one of the reenactments...
4. i am hooked on justin timberlake, so weird of me! pandora has been plugged into my brain for days now, i am feeling the summertime for the first time today...a JT - "cry me a river" summer it must be!
this record was good, where the hell was i?
5. this is still my birth emotion, but sometimes it fluctuates. i'll keep this one i think. it's just in my dna, a piece of me - the part that i almost hold the dearest, or maybe love the most....
adventure sometimes works just as well - BUT - danger always tastes better!
6. romance, plain and simple:
i heart romance!
7. so i put another craigslist ad out and got some interesting feedback/responses. apparently now the few hater's out there will flag your post if they can't get you pay attention to them, etc. mine was flagged and wrongfully taken down - and i put it right back up. i'm ready for some kid n' play!
menfolk are tasty!
8. i am full force in my job search, wish me luck! day time work is plentiful and looking so good - i want to land the perfect job for the summer, full time money will be so nice!
full time money for a few weeks, is appealing!
9. i am looking forward to jump starting my northwest film forum, my girl ticia is submitting some work she did this year to the local sightings festival, she will get them in and seen - i am excited for her!
movies, movies and more movies!
10. where am i headed next?
everywhere. i think.
this is your heart and it's open wide!
CX
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even if not commenting. Your journey with Rescue has been amazing- you are truly amazing, woman!!!
And with so much glittery silvery stuff in your aura, there must be some coinage coming your way. Least ways, that's how I see it!
Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough. -- Emily Dickinson
You want to do what you think is right and what matters to you, and if other people don't like it, as my father would have said, they can go fuck themselves. -- Amy Bloom
my god, there is nothing like a nice, big tasty man, is there? yours is out there waiting for you, and looking for you! I just know it.
job: you will land a cool full-time summer job ASAP! I just got one, halk the ends going into our straw bale house pot, half going towards my bookstore bootstrap fund. you know I do what I gotta!
sparkly shoes are lovely. I just added some glitter and feathers to my sandals! 
rescue: I heart this project so much, let me know what I can do to help spread the word or just help in whatever way I can. I got your back!
i'm so happy to hear from you today!
first off - great job landing the summer time gig, good work girl! i know that the bookstore is in full force, i popped up on your beautiful body blog the other day, the page and your words looked great! i know that you're busy multitasking, just know what a fabulous job you're doing - i mean it!
*please try not to worry too much about your lack of working out - i know you're getting back to where you want to be, and i think you look sexy!! * i wanted to add this because i know that it sometimes worries you, but you know what? i love you just the way you are. someone needs to say this baby!
seriously, girl, you're busy - if you can only work on even half the time that you used to, it's understandable - in the past 3 months, i was lucky to work out once a week, twice was a lot. only now, am i able to do a little more - keep going, you'll get there!
on the men thoughts - i can't thank you enough for believing in my man dreams - i keep them alive each day, in spite of the challenges - i know you're right, he's out there looking for me too.
i really appreciate your ongoing love and support of my career goals, Rescue has been a ride hasn't it? i've really enjoyed every minute of this project, in spite of a handful of the challenges/curve balls, overall, she's been totally worth it = there's nothing like her out there!
thank you for your help! i'll take you up on your offer, when the time comes. when she's completed, i want to meet up with the officials and discuss our options. i want to give them a chance to publicly post her and, then i've dreamed up about posting her for a limited time on line, maybe longer, we'll see.
will and i will meet up again tomorrow to do some more work on her, he's busting out sequences left and right, tomorrow we work on the prosecuting attorney's first piece in the film - yesterday i was thinking that i didn't care how long it was right now, we can pair down more in the next few weeks, right now, it's filling the blanks with the best shots/good stuff and banging out the structure. sal will like it!
i spoke with trent last night and he'll meet with us on monday to fix the audio issues we have, and teach will the in's and out's, so if it pops up again, we'll be good.
i've enjoyed this process with will, yesterday i was grouchy and trying to leave the house with mars in tow, i bought will a cappuccino and ended up spilling it on my skirt and leg because i was rushing to get us in the editing suite. school has been out for two weeks now, and i still keep moving forward to get her finished, i can't think of much else these days!
i honestly & firmly believe that we will always be taken care of now that i'm on my life path - in the past, when i wasn't pursuing my dream, everything felt so much harder - things are different now, the universe has set me on this course and i believe that as long as i follow it, money, rent, men, friendships, food, the shoes i love *your sandals rock!*, etc. will come.
it's taken a lot for me to get here right?
jeez!
i love you t, don't forget it!
your friend who will someday walk into your bookstore, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and give you hug - CX
I feel you, I know I look good but my main issue with weight is health. I have all the ickness in my family; diabetes, hypertension, heart crud, and more. Weight seems to be the trigger for all this stuff for people in my family, so I am real careful about my weight. At my fattest I was 210 pounds, and had ate my way into a pre-diabetic state!! never again. So when I realized I had gained some weight back I had to jump on it! and get this weight off of me because my body can't handle it, health-wise. I already have a mild heart condition I was born with as it is, I am not even trying to get any other heart issues, you know? plus working out makes me feel so good, I really need to make time for it in my life.
all the work on Rescue you've done is amazing!! I am so psyched out about all the help you're getting. it's happening, you are a film maker!
You are right things don't seem so hard when you are working on your dreams! I mean the grind is hard, but it just doesn't feel like slaving when you are working on your own stuff. we can do this!
when you come to my store you know that will be major freakout time LOL!! (((hugs)))
Trula
i appreciate what you're saying about your health issues and wanting to take control of it - family history, before or after your feel the effects, etc. it makes good sense.
my take on it was the body image issues - it makes me sad to hear any woman talk about her feeling "less than perfect" does that make sense? we have so much everyday pressure in our lives, you know what i'm getting at - when you're time is limited and you're doing your best to take care of yourself, sometimes i think it really needs or should be "enough". BUT, sometimes, it's not, and i realize that.
you lead a busy and productive life, you give 800% of yourself to your: art, family, writings, and over the years i've enjoyed popping onto your blogs, and reading them. i think my overall message is to give yourself more credit, you've come a long way in terms of your weight goals, etc.
all in all, i just want you to know that i care, and i also know as a friend, you can be overly critical on yourself in this area, i'm not meaning to come off a like a jerk about about it - i just understand that it can be a hot button at times. does that make sense?
i hope so - it was just my take on it.
love - CX
Hey Christy, Loving your list, the shoes are fab! Picking between Snoop and La GaGa is like picking between eggs and bacon, HARD. I definitely think the acquisition of those shoes would improve either experience. Maybe Snoop just edges it on account of being sexy and also sweet, I accidently watched his fatherhood show once and he is a stellar, responsible, loving man whilst still knowing how to a bad boy where and when it counts! Isn’t that the best type of guy?
I am all for you taking love into your hands. That is what I did. If you're a certain type of lady; cute, sexy, ambitious, a straight shooter, the men that approach you and have a sense of entitlement about being with you are the men you don't want and the sweet, humble ones that you want take one look at you and think she is out of my league, we have to give these quiet types a chance! It s hard work but worth it, you gotta train those suckers up, even the best of them, you just need to find some great raw materials!
Love meds
thanks girl!
i'm not sure where i'm at anymore with this - i know that i probably won't find it online - i'm trying to plow forward per the usual - but it's challenging.
on one hand, i look at how i've created my life and it's no wonder that i am still single - i have opted to create the career of my dreams, and i've put all my eggs plus some i don't even have yet in this basket!
but man, the basket is nice, isn't it!!??. i wouldn't change it for the world - yesterday i was watching the latest behind the music - courtney love expose. i thought about where i've been and what i've done to get here - i love, appreciate and value my life. period.
AND - in spite of my drive/desire to create something from nothing, i still burn for real man-love - i know he's out there, i just need the materials - a sweet but manly human being would be a start! i know you're right.
and a few other things....A LOT of other things - plus i just want to have fun, you know?
a sizzling summer romance is what i'm focused on next.....
i love snoop, and i agree, he's a family man at heart - but enjoys keeping his wildside - i think i am the same way! i need to be focused on my heart chakra, i need to continue to open it and keep it this way...i can do the work, it's worth it...
your friend - CX
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thanks for reading my words - i appreciate/ need your support and encouragement!
i'm moving forward, and each day Rescue gets better - i'm learning from my mistakes and odd/weird choices, i'm learning what "works" and how to make better choices, *fast and on the fly when needed!*, mostly: how good films are constructed.
it's all blood, sweat and tears, nothing short of all that really matters....
i worked closely with will today and it was wonderful, we're literally knocking down one sequence at a time....
i hope you like it. this film will help the fund get the almost million dollars that it needs.
love - CX