Ungrats/Grats

Ungrats

So I have a massive amount of schoolwork to accomplish before the end of the semester and the kiddo had diarrhea all day today, along with a sore throat and fever.

What can you do, right?

A few things I won't even bother mentioning.

My wrinkles & silver hairs have started to exponentially increase in the last month or two. Found a silver pubic hair, found a freaking silver eyelash. I'm 30.

Some of my classmates are agitating me with their holier-than-thou attitudes- I want to defend myself, but I don't want to seem like a whiner, and I recognize that I sometimes take breaks from my work to, say, write on hipmama but they really don't know the half or it and I'm damned if I'm going to open up about the stressors of the past year in an attempt to defend not making it to every single class, getting behind with schoolwork, etc. because it's none of their goddamn business. It still sucks. I am tempted from time to time to spill the beans in some dramatic fashion and I have childish fantasies that they will burst into tears after hearing my story and feel shitty for being so snoody and reconsider their perspective on the world a bit and perhaps be better people for it in the future, but then I feel like an ass. It's not my job. So I just suck it up and take it. It's nobody's fucking business.

GRATS!

I don't have lymphoma. Yay! I do have a large number of swollen lymph nodes all over my body and no neck fat, so I'm trying to get used to looking lumpy. It's a good thing that I have long hair.

I had a surprisingly sweet romantic interlude with a guy I've been friends with for years and years now. We both dated the same woman 9 years ago, and became friends after but we've never been sweet on each other until now. He's nothing like I expected him to be. He was so gentle, considerate, tender, gah! I've thought he was such a dick for years now- well, he is- a hilarious one, but I never expected to feel so cared for. Maybe it was sexual tension but we've antagonized the heck out of each other for years. I got to play electric guitar the other day while he was visiting town, and he played the drums. I hadn't spoken to him for a whole year because we had a falling out, and apparently it bothered him enough that he came as close to apologizing as he does about it and I came as close to accepting his apology as I do and we had really, really amazing, um, times together during Easter, which I spent sans family (even kid, who was with his dad). He's coming back to town in June.

My ex-fiance is re-engaged after 10 years. I know this could go under ungrats, but I'm kind of relieved to know that door is closed. I miss him still sometimes, but we were too much.

I recently moved, and my new place is AMAZING. I'm 5 minutes walk from a beautiful lake, I have a built in dishwasher, wonderful new neighbors, and I'm feeling more peaceful here than I have in years, apart from my schoolwork woes.