Free time
Hey all,
Haven't posted anything on here in a while, and hope you are all doing well. I have a question and would appreciate any opinions out there...
How much "free time" do your school aged children get per day? I am starting to see some behaviors in my 9 and 7 year old boys, that are less than ideal- and after talking with the husband this evening we both feel that our kids have too much time to do what they wish after school. They are sorta, in our opinion, beginning to feel an entitlement to their free time. So of course, we want to remedy this situation by tightening up the reigns a bit. But don't want to go too far.
As it stands now, they get home from school at about 3, they go play with the neighbors, do about 10 minutes of chores, and about 20-30 minutes of homework and then play some more. They come in the house at about 6:30 and play inside until 8 and then go to bed to read until they fall asleep. I'm thinking we need to (at least for a month) reel them in, in a major way, so they can see that the world doesn't work this way. They aren't going to be able to have free reign over all their time in the near future.
What are your kid's schedules' like and how much free time do they get per day? Thx!
"Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we're here we might as well dance".- Maya Angelou
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I dont mean to offend but how would you feel if someone told you that you have no right to your free time? Don't your kids deserve to be treated the way you would want to be? they are not animals that need controling right? I believe in unschooling which pretty much involves kids having free time all the time to do with as they wish. they are just kids after all. you can never spoil a kid by giving them to much love. Maybe you guys should do something together as a family in that time.
Nikkei
I am sorry. I came off rude and out of line. Not my intention. I obviously need to work on sharing my point of view more constructively. again I'm very sorry
let 'em play.
L-Dawg says, "That sounds fine. That sounds like what kids are supposed to do. When they get older, they will get more homework. And then when they are teenagers, they will have more free time because they will go out with their friends." She's eighteen.
"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius"--Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Well, my kid is only 2, so I don't have any constructive first hand advice to add. I'm just not sure exactly what you mean. You say you are seeing behaviors that you don't like, like what? And I'm not sure what you mean by this, "beginning to feel an entitlement to their free time". Do you mean they resent ever being asked to do chores, homework, etc? More so than a kid normally would? I could see how that would be an issue. But what are you suggesting that they do instead of having free time? I don't think adding a couple more chores would be overkill. But it doesn't sound like they have too much time to me. At least not from what I had when I was a kid and what my nieces and nephews and other kids I know have. I suppose it depends on what you're seeing happening with them that you don't like.
There is nothing wrong with a little structure and my kids really benefited from having chores and structured time in addition to having free time. I think this has gone a long way in teaching them personal accountability and personal responsibility, as well as strengthening their self esteem and ability to rely on themselves to complete tasks, set goals, and follow through. My kids are now 20, 15, and 12 and all three are light years ahead of me in knowing/doing these things...in part because they learned how to at a young age. So while it will be hard to for both you and the kids at first, they will thank you for it in the long run and learn a great deal of self-respect and assurance in themselves. also for you and your husband for giving them great life tools.
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Well, I think there is definitely a difference between what love is and delegating how they spend their afternoons. My question was not if I was right or wrong in my choice, but what your own children's schedules (or lack of) are like.
My 3 year old has no schedule and right now, neither do my older children. But like I said, I am finding that they are having an entitlement to their time.. like when I ask them to do something for someone else, it's getting to be harder and harder. They do well, I just want to nip this in the bud.