Corbin Lewars’ Creating a Life is about many things: surviving a miscarriage, confronting long-forgotten memories of rape, conceiving and seeing a second pregnancy to term, and eventually delivering a son, at home, and fulfilling her wish of becoming a mother and writer. But Corbin’s story is about more than overcoming her past and achieving the tangible milestones of pregnancy and new motherhood. It is about a women finding her own voice and gaining the strength to trust her feelings, instincts, and desires. And through learning to believe in herself, she gains the courage to become both a mother and a writer -- on her own terms.

It is Corbin’s courage that impresses me most, and she seems to know instinctively that we all have far more of it than we realize. It is her struggle to understand her own needs and stand up for them -- to speak up when it would be so easy to stay silent -- that makes her struggle resonate with me, and I think back on every time I’ve deferred my wants, needs, and desires -- always out of fear.

Unlike Corbin, I have never been pregnant, never endured a miscarriage, and have no near-term plans for motherhood. But, even for those of us who have not had to overcome these traumas and struggle to achieve the dream of becoming a mother, learning to listen to and believe in our own voices is hard -- really hard.

In the beginning of the memoir, Corbin believes that what she needs to be fulfilled is a baby. But as her story unfolds, she discovers that she also needs to be fulfilled in her professional life, and when she has the opportunity to pitch herself to be the editor of the publication Women in Seattle her natural tendency is to stay quiet, not take the risk, not seize the opportunity. But deep inside of her, her true voice starts urging her to open her mouth and make the simple statement, “I’d like to be considered as the editor.” These words do form, are delivered, and voila, Corbin becomes the editor, and despite not yet being on her way to motherhood, she finds herself in a profession she loves.

As Corbin’s story progresses; she becomes pregnant, and she slowly starts to trust her intuition that a home birth will be right for her and for her baby. But finding the resolve to be true to her own needs and not be swayed by more traditional views, authorities -- and even well meaning friends, family, and colleagues -- takes courage. She educates herself and works through all of the natural fears: pain, safety -- even the potential mess! And as her due date nears, she learns that making everyone else comfortable is not the point; delivering her baby, in her home, in her own way is.

Throughout Creating a Life Corbin’s ability to turn personal tragedy into triumph is inspiring. And all along her journey, she seeks the council and support of strong, wise women -- but in the end realizes that only by eventually trusting in her own wisdom can she become fulfilled as a mother, a writer, and a women.

No matter where you are in life -- regardless of your own personal experiences and choices -- following Corbin’s journey of self-healing and self-discovery is both thought provoking and uplifting. Her voice is that of an honest and open friend willing to share her story, reveal every raw detail, and inspire with her candor, her humor, and especially her courage. This book is for every woman who has doubted her ability to do what she really wanted to, and it is the proof that we all can.

Creating a Life: The memoir of a writer and mom in the making, by Corbin Lewars.
174 pages
Catalyst Book Press (February 1, 2010)
$16.00
ISBN-10: 0980208157
Available through Catalyst Book Press, Indiebound, and Amazon or ask your local independent bookstore to order it for you.

Lisa Beliveau is currently a Seattle-based writer, business consultant, sailor, climber, and all-around outdoor enthusiast. She has published in Maine Boats and Harbors Magazine and was the winner of the James Ballowe Personal Essay Contest. She blogs at ISoldMyPearlsToDoIt.com.