I got this horrible letter from Kaiser yesterday

A form letter. Generated by a computer. I know, because I got one almost exactly like it a few months ago. Remember how I didn't want to get a LEEP done, because, well, it just seems so barbaric? Electrified wire loop scraping off cervical cells. And the "info" pamphlet didn't really have much info, more like pastel drawings of virginal-looking Stepford-wife-esque ladies cavorting, presumable post-procedure, but maybe more like deer in the sights of the OB-GYN hunter. I don't know. I've had so much "work' done on my girlie parts (tee hee hee. sounds like plastic surgery. had an ovary lift) that I DON'T WANT ANYMORE. The colposcopy was awful. The doctor seemed SURPRISED that it was emotionally brutal for me. I guess she didn't read my chart where it said I'm a sex abuse survivor. I guess she didn't listen when I said I'm a sex abuse survivor. I guess she didn't take me seriously when I said I had grave concerns about the procedure.
Anyway...
A few years ago, I wrote a paper for a cultural anthropology class about the cultural reasons for the high c-section rate in this country. The culture of Western Medicine, and obstetrics--the way that med students are taught to look for pathology, how they don't really know what "normal" looks like, how they are sold a bunch of machines that may or may not do what they are supposed to, how they are trapped in a quagmire of protocols, etc., etc. And the God Complex that so many doctors have. Ugh. Which is more of why I don't want a LEEP. So, I've been doing my acupuncture, and changing my lifestyle, and as of the past couple of weeks, I'm beginning to feel like the "last" phase of my own, personal treatment is beginning. The harder work of positive affirmations, particularly in regards to my girlie parts--more on that later.
Back to the letter.
So, the letter is sort of like "oh, we noticed you missed your appointment" (didn't miss--canceled the first one. They made a second one FOR ME, which I did NOT agree to). You really should take care of your body. Being a good girl and cooperating with our protocol will make you healthy. We care. Signed, your doctor who can't remember who you are, and the general message line for Kaiser.
I've gotten this letter, like three times or something. This time there was an added, personal message. Saying that I should at least come in and get another colposcopy to make sure I don't have cancer. WTF? The nurse who wrote that part told me, when I was freaked out about the colposcopy, that cervical cancer is slow-growing. Like, 5-10 years. These people don't know what the fuck they are talking about. It's all threats and fear-mongering, and shoving women around like cattle, and making money off our fear. You might have cancer, but this procedure will make you okay and bathed in soft, pink light. Not, of course, you might NOT have cancer. You might never get cancer. And this procedure might fuck you up, physically and emotionally, not to mention financially.
Argh!!!!