WARNING: explicit question, still valid
opinions please.
A friend recently confided in me that her husband, and his friend will watch porn together and masturbate. In the same room. Okay, I think thats gay. All I can do is put myself in that situation and think that first of all, nothing has ever made me so hot that I need to touch myself that second, and if I did ever masturbate in a room with another human being in it, which I just don't see happening, them being there would attribute to the sexual experience. I pass no judgments, and didn't even say anything then other than laugh, cus I have tact and I am certainly not going to report anything back cus its not my place and I do not care. I also think that as much as I think I know about men, one thing remains the same. In female to male sex changes that I have only seen through the power of television, every time, the participant always tells the documentarian how they are blown away by the testosterone injections and the ramifications of that testosterone on their sex drive, urges, and thinking processes. they essentially report on damn near possession,and that has to be true because there are no strip clubs for women, ( gay men go there) and there are no whore houses, and men walk the streets for other men, so it could be possible they are just so sexualy charged and can block out the other man, but still being a psych major and a curious person I stand by my opinion that there is some underlying homo eroticism to this.
This is not the first time i have heard of this happening! The first time my friend told me her two male friends routinely did this, one would be driving and the other would sit in the back for I guess more privacy, and then the second time was when a male friend of mine who was living in a frat house reported that two of the guys that lived there would sit in a room and do this regularly.
Yes, men are dogs, and sometimes they are gay dogs, and sometimes straight men aren't 100% straight. I think its got a queer element, but you know they are looking at girls so in their minds it can be passed off as straight.
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So what if it does have a gay element to it? I mean, these guys would probably never admit to that, and I have no clue if it really does have anything to do with that. But if it does, so what? Is it just that they would be denying the truth to themselves? I don't think it's quite that deep most of the time.
~In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different
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Fate- is when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over
I do agree that it's a weird situation, at least to me. I know my husband would never do that, when we've seen scenes in movies or whatever where they do that he's all like "Oh my god, who even does that?!". But then again, to me, it's akin to two couples doing it in the same room or something. Not like, where two couples actually get together and have a foursome or something, where they really are all *together* at the same time. But like, and this is the best example I can come up with cause I live in spring break capitol, if two college guys bring a couple of girls back to their hotel room and have sex at the same time, in different beds. Those guys would totally just think of it in some macho way, like, "Yeah, we just scored! Ohhh, we are so the man!". Those are the same guys I could see maybe wanking in the same room, back at the frat house or something. I think they would think it's the farthest thing from being gay.
Anyways, I don't know what actually goes through their minds about it. I'd be kinda curious to know, too.
I'm a bit blown away but to each his own. I personally couldn't see me and dh inviting a friend into that situation but then again we don't watch porn either. I just don't know what to say just wow!
it may be as gay as these guys get, but they are at least that much gay. i agree with you that it's a shared experience, they're not just squeezing one out, they're getting together to do this. there's some degree of planning. they're not just saying eh, i'm bored, i think i'll go jerk off now, they're calling their friend and saying hey you coming over?
i disagree that it's weird though. i've heard of this a lot, actually. guys who are just that gay and no more, doing this because it's fun for them. good for them. i'd do it. with the right friend. haven't met that friend yet, but when i do, hoooo boy!
there was a funny blog on wordpress where this guy kept getting notes tacked to his apartment door from a guy in his building inviting him to watch porn and masturbate together. he posted pics of the notes, which got progressively gayer.
More like group sex. While the participants like having the company, they are not excited by the other guy. What they are sharing is the common experience of enjoying porn.
I have heard of guys masturbating at bachelor parties when strippers and/or sex shows are part of the activities. They may be elbow-to-elbow, but their eyes stay on the entertainment.
Think of it under the same umbrella as calling your best friend to join you for a hot fudge sundae...it's more fun because the two of you are enjoying the experience simultaneously. You may talk about how great it was, or what menu choices looked best to you, but you ate your own sundae and she ate hers, and your spoons stayed out of each other's plates.
The line from hot fudge to HOT fudge would be crossed if the experience was arranged so that they could watch one another masturbate and climax. As long as the eyes are staying on the TV screen, it sounds heterosexual to me.
Glamorous
Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. ~Austin O'Malley
I think that makes the most sense. I don't believe the guys that do this are turned on by each other (well, I'm sure there are some that are, but that's a whole other issue). They just like to do the same thing, and apparently aren't bothered by doing it next to each other. But they don't want to do it TO each other. I guess.
if it were a case of not being bothered by doing it near each other, they'd be doing it whether anyone was there or not, and accidentally doing it near each other. these guys are not accidentally doing it near each other. they're getting together for this purpose. they're dating, essentially. they're being as gay as they're comfortable being. but it's definitely gay.
if you have to look at this and change the way you see it for it not to be gay, it's GAY.
Mr Filth's take on it:
heterosexuality is a judeo xian myth, no one is hetero, everyone is some degree of gay. watching porn with men in it is gay. having an erection watching porn is gayer. being able to orgasm while watching porn with men in it is gayer still. having an erection, coming, etc, with another man in the room is even gayer still. from then on it's 'exponential' or 'logarithmic' (unsure of precise mathematical jargon). to that end jerking off with two guys in the room is gayer than sucking one dick. jerking off with three guys in the room is gayer than sucking one dick while getting fucked in the ass, and so on.
at least that's what he tells me. i guess that's between us.
Nah, not how I see it. I don't think that just because a guy would do it with another guy and not just *anyone* automatically makes it gay.
I don't personally care if it's gay or not. I agree with the first line you wrote from Mr. Filth's take on it. I think we probably all have the ability to be gay, or be attracted to someone of the same sex, at some point. But to say that jerking off with two guys in the same room is gayer than sucking dick , well, defies my own logic anyways.
And I've given this way more thought than I ever thought I would! And I don't know any more than when I first started. Shit, we're all big homos, so let's just all wank one out now together.
if you insist
im with you
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss
Mr Filth's take on it made me LOLOLOL!
i mean - look at mainstream movies; alla the bromances and then those stupid flicks that always have some cropped shot of a chic's ass or legs or tits on the cover, where all the dudes run around flashing their genitals at other dudes, to prove their total heterosexuality (?)...fer real.
as fer those dudes who are jackin' it on the couch, together, i wish that it was cool fer them to admit they're kinda gay and then just get on with it, ya know?
i also agree with mr. filth, that no one is 100% straight or gay.
i, personally, identify as easy.
(i think that's so funny.)
skl
calls herself a "people person."
and I'm a pastor for heaven's sake!
While I have no beef with the argument that sexuality is on a continuum, I don't thing men masturbating with friends is particularly gay. As a woman does it ook me out? Certainly. But I realize that women and men don't think of same gendered friendships in the same kinds of ways. I bet those men jerking off together probably would never share a bed on a trip, or link arms on a walk, or hug in public, as I would do with any girl friend of mine. They'd probably see activities like that as "too gay."
the question was, is it gay, not is it normal.
it actually doesn't ook me out, but then i'm not ooked by my Mr being half gay.
i too am laughin mama dudes do this? yowser!altho i have been horny enough to have to touch myself i once masterbated in a..... well a strange place i kno im freaky sorry anyway i would agree gay tendencies. 2 dudes shareing a sexual experience would be homosexual in nature by definition hmmmm.i've masterbated when other people where sleeping in the room but never like a gang masterbation session. anyway those r my thoughts
so i asked his opinion he says definitely gay. and i mean my guy watches porn on his fuckin blackberry he's like an expert :)lmao anyway thats his input.
Chiming in here, my male friend used to do this with his male friend which when he described the scenario to me it was his way of telling me the gayest thing he had ever done. Because he did it, and because he says he is attracted to men and women and did this thing, he considers himself bisexual. I don't know if he has since had more in depth sexual encounters (ie direct physical contact), but this occured early on in his exploration and this scenario was described by him as a gay one.
professional therapist here, could totally be gayness, but i gotta throw in my clinical opinion, too, that it also seems like it could be an issue of mutual sex addiction. essentially what we are talking about here is boundaries, and there are plenty of factors that can influence our boundaries, sexual and otherwise. if these two guys are addicted to porn, which is a real and devastating kind of compulsive/anxiety disorder, then they may not be gay at all, but they get something out of sharing their mutual addiction. if it is addiction, the fact that the behavior is sexual in nature takes second seat. like rape isn't an act of sex, it is an act of violence perpetrated with sex, sex addiction acting out is not about sex, but an act of compulsion that happens to be sexual in nature. KWIM? just another perspective.
if i were your friend, i would HOPE that her husband is gay-ish, since that is 100% healthy and normal, whereas sexual addiction is just as painful and difficult to overcome as any other addiction, and is not healthy at all.
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
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i think the whole scenario is just something I could never imagine happening. And I am a psych major so I scrutinize and look into absolutely everything. The first man I told this to was convinced it was gay because in his mind, he would never do anything like that and thought like I did, that it was a shared experience, not a singular hormone driven act of release. The second man i talked to didn't agree with me.