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Just a minor vent.Just a tad fed up right now. I just want things to be easy. I am not getting sucked into an emotional vortex, I refuse to change myself, I am going to go have a sauna at a friend's house and come home and make some fucking key lime pie because it's my night off and I never get to travel or have a vacation. And I'm going to eat it. MEH! Hope you are all having a good night.
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Okay.
Apparently, there was a miscommunication that happened at 3am the night that she left.
We are taking a break.
That's fine. In case you couldn't tell, I was getting pretty distraught about this.
Maybe neither of us can really handle this right now. The stupid thing is, the reason that it's so hard is because I care- I feel really close to her.
Is it better to be with someone that you feel really close to or is it better to go with someone with whom there is much less risk? Or do you just go with it? I get so analytical- I can't even read my own writing anymore. BLECH.
it really is ok
it happens. take your break. if she's worth it, she will be around later on and be happy to hear from you.
"Wouldn't you rather your child be a drug dealer than a drug addict?" -- John Waters
come out
Okay. Scratch everything.
Had a talk with a really grounded friend who knows all of the details now. If she hadn't been so busy she would have made sure that she went out for coffee with us not long after we met to give me the low down- which is an standing invitation on her part, knowing some of what I've dealt with in the past. She has great radar when it comes to chicks and has been openly gay for forever. She does not approve of the whole thing. I am free now. Yes, that fast. It's cool, I trust her judgment. I'll take the good memories and let it go. And that is that. No more freaking out. And I'm not allowed to apologize.
Alright.
Sorry about sharing the post that was here. I feel like an ass.
agree to disagree?
Maybe the Tim & Eric thing can be solved by agreeing not to spend the Tim & Eric timeslot together? I mean, as simple as that sounds, it saved me when I shared an apartment with a around a football fan. We may have come to blows otherwise.
Good luck!
Glamorous
ah yes,
the concerns of a young person. she likes tim and eric??? how will we EVER get along??
"Wouldn't you rather your child be a drug dealer than a drug addict?" -- John Waters
come out
Yeah.
That's not the only concern. The great thing? She has really strong feelings for me. The hard thing? She's still in place where she equates intensity with truth and that's not always the case- this is frustrating to me as someone who WAS intensity in 10 cities Live at Budapest- who was once the Queen of Romance and Truth- and with that came actual tragedy and damage that I can't even begin to discuss.
Apparently, my eyes are very blue but I'm lacking some deeper meaning according to my behavior. Which feels kind of insulting but is impossible to get upset about because I care about her and realize that she's going to have to figure some of these things out in her own time. All I can do is be solid in myself and not get sucked into it (and it is tempting to let myself get sucked in because she's truly enchanting and amazing) and see if she still wants to be around me. She projects this player persona, confident and cocky but in reality she is a lovely, vulnerable, elusive yet incredibly loving person not unlike a girl in a fairytale. I was not expecting that. She was not expecting me to fall off of the pedestal she put me on, apparently, with my frank and realistic view of the world. At least that's my take on it at present. But it's all cool......
TONIGHT- I had a shot of whiskey and several glasses of water in the sauna at 185 degrees for well over 30 minutes then dove face-first into a giant pile of snow in my electric blue bikini, screaming Holy Fucking Shit Holy Fucking Shit!!! and then hung out in the sauna and outside off and on for another hour and a half. It was FUCKING AWESOME and Cured What Ails Me!!!
well i don't really know you
but i find it hard to believe that you lack deeper meaning.
sounds like she's immature, perhaps a bit of a drama queen, which is fine but it does get old after a while.
"Wouldn't you rather your child be a drug dealer than a drug addict?" -- John Waters
come out
Awww hell.
She's got me. Being around her....
well you would just have to experience it.
I am going to stay me. But this could hurt, I knew this going into it. I have a feeling it's not going to work. I'm sure she's wondering why if I'm so enthralled did I tell her that she had garlic breath last night. I suppose it wasn't funny at such an intense moment.
Obviously, I am still thinking about her. I could have watched a whole movie by myself by now. But no, I'm surfing the internet and trying not to think about her....
Oh I just need to stop it. I make myself sick. Blech.
it's ok
you met a cool person whom i presume you will keep in touch with no matter what happens, and you explored something. it's alright. gotta let go of that idea of things "working out" or not. it just is, kwim?
people who confuse intensity with truth can make for some fun times, but they can also be exhausting.
"Wouldn't you rather your child be a drug dealer than a drug addict?" -- John Waters
come out