tuesday gratitudes - X - a gift to you!
we can always do better! here is my better!:
1. let's take it way-back first! a super 8 to record all my super moments! this is fun!
these camera's are more expensive than they look! i'll take one in red and the other in black!
2. penelope spheeris - all around masculine woman, super goddess, director and producer, passionate artist, mother, all that good stuff! this lady rocks my world!
this lady is both inspirational and real - i love her to death! she directed some of my all time favorites! check out: "suburbia". you'll love it as much as i do!
3. wayne's world is the hit that everyone knows her for - but she's more than comedy, more than a punk rock goddess director, this lady spells LIFE!
4. a huge nice smelling piece of passion just for you!
5. so yesterday was sephora - and it was fun! this new line of eye make-up is to die for! check it out! the pastel's are worthy of just about everything/anything!
6. so today is great - i'm ready to pick up my 2 library books that i've had on hold for awhile now. one is on directing and the other is on lady directors. i see a pattern here!
7. ruffle's - bbq flavor!
8. plotting my new year's night out - i'm hitting up the lo-fi. i've wanted to check out this club for months now. killer tights, high heels to die for, a short skirt, the works. i'll color my hair, get all metaphysical and shit. my nails are neon pink, my pedicure is blue. things are coming together. i'm manifesting another date with a new man, better, the works. soul, rap & hip-hop should do the trick! wish me luck!
9. 
a new brush set is in order!
10. i dive. i roll the dice, often. my drive can feel dangerous. not even danger stops me. i just see green. and go.
11. thank you for letting me say what i want to say! i'm in the processes of a lot of shit. and i'm almost NEVER sure where i'm headed. most of the time!
12. i bought my school books online for the second quarter that begins january 4th.
13. i landed 2 A's and 3-4 B+'s. that made my gpa - 3.4, the highest it's been since the 6th grade, how funny is that! i killed to get those grades. i still think i deserved all A's! sheesh!
forever - and a lot of moving pictures!
christy nc-17!
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since i was like .... 20? that was a long time ago. and it's at the bottom of my queue right now, always getting bumped for things i've become curious about. but i do remember having it on vhs and having it play almost continuously in the background for some memorable moments, for about a year.
has loaded the entire thing onto Youtube.
I just wish that Skinner had been something utter than a complete non-actor. But I guess he does play a skinhead pretty well
"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius"--Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
thanks shades!
you know this must have been a died hard fan! that's a lot of work!
thank goddess for netflix, it used to be hard to find, pretty hit or miss.
forever - christy x/christy nc-17!
glad to see you flashing that energy of yours across the e-train...glad to know you are out there. xo
how are things with your son and the custody arrangement? how was your holiday!?
happy new year's - we've got more celebrating to do!
thanks for your support!
love always - your friend - christy nc-17!
they call it suburbia, and that's perfect because it's a combination of the the words "suburb" and "utopia".
Jack Diddly tears the diary out of his hands, throws it out the car window and says "They never realized they'd be the slums of the future".
slums of the future!
i love it!
i always think of the slo-mo dogs running! that single shot just captures the entire film!! just the thought of wild dogs living in los angeles in any era, is enough to make someone shit!
i love penelope with all my heart - this lady took so many risks to make this kind of film, you know!? she grew up with circus folks, literally and she was a single mom! a winning combo in my book!
hearts - and lot's of dogs running wild!
dc
LOved your list and in answer to your previous question. Yup I am a masculine woman, That is I don't look like a man or seek to emmulate men but my behaviour and style has been commented on as being very masculine a lot and I am attracted to a lot of masculine environments like surgery and also I respond in what may be thought of as a traditionally masculine way to certain challenges.
As my surgical mentor asked me Do you have balls of steel? The answer was yes! Though maybe ovaries of platinum would have been more appropriate! Also I am more of a black and white person, do better in tests than essays which in medicine certainly is seen as a more masculine style. However, I am also intuitive and very nurturing so I don't see my masculinity as being a substitution for feminity but rather a nice extra! I see this as straight up hormonal; I put muscle on real easily, have to pluck the occasional chin hair straggler, have very light easy periods.
And I am straight, maybe I'd be best suited to a more feminine man? I don't know. I will definitely be youtubing that film.
Take care and thanks for a fab list
meds
thanks darlin!
the masculine woman thing - such a mixed bag of tricks, isn't it!?
i already knew that you were, but you gotta ask! some women are like us, and they don't really know it - or maybe they don't "classify" themselves this way!
*of course you knew it, but i think you know where i'm coming from!!*.
i honestly had no idea what the hell i was until sharene told me 2 years ago!??? can you believe it! i was blown away that there was even a word for it!??
most of us don't look like men, in fact, i often think it's quite the opposite. like you, i dress up in feminine style, i love being a woman and the fashion is the funnest part! just another bonus for us!
i think the trick is pulling off the "strong fem" part - i've worked my tail off to do this and it has made a HUGE difference, in terms of how i feel *balanced* and actually attracting masculine men.
from what sharene has taught me, and what i've personally experienced, feminine men are mostly disasters, especially for us. not to say they aren't "nice" or "useful" for some women, but in my experience, they continued to force me to stay in my masculine, WAY beyond what was reasonable, or what i want to feel. it was not only painful, but totally unnecessary.
i've been married to two men who were more feminine, and it was horrible. it literally fed my anger addiction to constantly have to "man" up, when they wouldn't.
the other challenge that i faced staying completely in my masculine, was that i could never "figure out" why masculine guys couldn't see me, or didn't understand me/like me.
i didn't like them much either, i didn't understand them - i still struggle with this a little. once i was able to switch my energy up enough, i opened the door to them and things started to shift, for me.
i'm still a work in progress - i need to shift gears again. i'll do it, because it's worth it to have men pursue me and have them take care of me. the main issue i face now, is just that it's so foreign to me, i've never done it!
it's challenging to manifest something that you've never had, or have no idea what it will look or "feel" like.
i keep dreamin!
we are definitely the "chicks with dicks" who get things done! bottom line! the world depends on us, and doesn't even know it! suckers!
my intention is to create action adventure movies for women in hollywood - masculine women are always the stars, but they depict us as having it "easy" or like it's "fun" or even "natural" - while it might be this way sometimes, it's not 100% accurate.
i want to show the truth, for us. by us!
love - christy X
The more I've been thinking about this "masculine woman" thing the more its been ringing true for me! I guess also I have been with some feminine men and it wasn't that great.
Typically my pattern has been pursuing someone, setting the pace, the agenda, moving things on mainly if I am being honest out of loneliness or boredom and then basically the scales fall from my eyes and I am appalled by what I see!
They, the poor buggers, are just as they ever were and by this point have a dependence on me that they call love. I have to extricate myself and have been excessively harsh doing this as I get scared and resentful of people being dependent on me.
I have done this twice in a big way, a long time ago but I haven't changed my pattern just withdrawn from the game. I can't even get mad of them; they were themselves, I chose them, they were passive participants.
As this stage in my life there are certain masculine traits that I find attractive; humour, a sense of putting oneself in the back ground and letting other people come to the fore, a masculine brand of kindness and nurturing, someone who can look after themselves from a practical standpoint and also the sex thing; someone who likes it, can do it, appreciates it and is honest about what they need.
I am not necessarily looking for a "partner" in the traditional sense, soon I will be real financially secure, I have a great support network, a satisfying career.
I want a playmate, something light and gentle BUT with a lot of love and integrity at its core. If the truth be told I am looking for straight up worship ! but not from someone who "needs me", but someone who WANTS me. There is a big difference!
I Love your action film idea, that is fascinating. There is so much action inherent in the female experience. It would be great to see a character were "adventure" doesn't leave them as damaged goods.
I would love as well to see a character in a film with some kind of spiritual practise that works for them. I am not talking about religion, just a commitment to something bigger then them that they can tap into in everyday life. I don't think that is ever shown in a film in a positive way, often used to denote weakness or hypocrisy or flakiness.
I know you love Desperately Seeking Susan, me too! and I honestly see that as a very spiritual film! Susan definitely trusts in the universe and knows it will be there to catch her when she falls, she knows exactly what she deserves; everything! (plus boxers and a garter belt, what is not too love?)A new wave man with a moped that sounds like a plan.
Have you ever read Medea by Christa Wolf. This is a superb book that retells the Medea legend which is one of the most crazy female archetypes, spurned woman killing children out of revenge, from Medea's perspective and it is great! It is all a big cover up for patriarchal infanticide.
The minute i read it I thought this would make a great film, no one has really done a big ancient world epic with a woman at the helm plus Madonna would be great in it. The theme of the book is all about the fear and loathing a strong sexual woman can create. There is also a good Courtney love part, the kings daughter who takes all the family's stress and tension onto herself and it manifests in all weird ways.
This is a long reply! Well DC I am wishing you all the best for a great 2010 and thank you for all your wit and wisdom!
because we are friends, and well, because i am me - i will describe what's doing on in my bathroom RIGHT now, just before i reply to your amazing response!
i have a maintenance man who in the past, i have wrongly, gotten mad, *when i was having a challenging day!*, helping me *thank you!* unclog my toilet that i have apparently rammed/crammed full with PAPER TOWELS! not good, i know, but when you need to wipe, nothing short of a dirty man's beard, is off limits!
i understand the "pattern/withdrawal" cycle all to well. maybe calling it a "cycle" is incorrect? i can't tell anymore! i've done Simmental things, and i know how isolating and painful it can be/feel. sometimes i think the years and months start running into each other!
and yes, you're right - the men are just being themselves! it really is up to us to change our pattern, the types of men we attract, our energy, stay balanced, etc.
it's challenging work! throw "bombshell" on top of it, and it can feel overwhelming sometimes!
what i personally like, are these open discussions about it - if we don't talk about it, what will ever change? for us? for the men we love? for the types of men who love us? crazy!
i agree with you, certain masculine traits are wonderfully appealing! i personally like them all, even if i don't understand them!
i respect the fact that you're looking or interested in someone who just wants to be with you, someone who can nurture and be the whole kit and kaboodle! plus great sex?! this is the ideal man!
believe in yourself - you can find him - i also support the withdrawing, i think it's a necessary step in the process of ditching the fembots and also honing in on the "strong fem" vibe/energy.
sometimes i feel like i've been on a see-saw with no partner on the other end! not fun!
the medea sounds familiar to me, it sounds like wolf put her own spin on this classic tale? did she update the story or plot to real time?
this would make an interesting film, i suspect that someone will tackle the complex characters, this is based on greek mythology, right?
period pieces of this nature, are really challenging to make - i would personally find it more interesting and easier to make or understand if you updated it and kept the character's in 2009-2010. the die hards would have a fit though! they're a tough crowd to please!
the story is definitely compelling and worthy of the big screen - someone will do it.
love and happy new year!
christy nc-17!
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love - christy nc-17!