yule logs and wishes...

This is so beautiful. I was really hoping for a solstice to remember this year but didn't have the energy. I'm so glad you had that experience, it's so inspiring to me!

As for guidance. I do a few things.

A) listen to my body. If it's hurting, there is a reason and it's often not a physical one. Or it is and it's being exacerbated by something I'm not doing or not doing. I look at my diet, water intake and movement. If one of those three is off I'm usually in pain and a lot less clear about making choices or being able to concentrate on decisions. Everything is hard.
B) I have a tarot app on my facebook and I throw a spread every 6 months or when a big life decision is approaching (job change, relationship issue, health concerns, etc.). I know the FB app sounds lame but for me Tarot is just a reminder of what I already know, not necessarily a divination tool. It helps me get clear on stuff and having that little app there everyday is nice. Every spread I've drawn in the last 20 years has been dead on. I don't think that is mystical I think it's inevitable, I'm the one looking for the answer and tarot helps me remember that I already know it.
c) I talk to someone I trust to be honest with me (even if I know they are going to say something I don't want to hear especially if they will say something I don't want to hear but know to be true). Sometimes I just need to talk and sometimes I just need to listen. I'm blessed that I have a couple of people I know I can do that with. It's been invaluable.
D) I'm in therapy. It took some time but I found a righteous babe who is full of the wise and thankfully my insurance pays for it and she doesn't charge me for being late or missing an appointment. And I can go at night when I can get someone to watch my kids. She really pushes me to reach my own potential and recognize my fearless nature under all the crap I've been taught. It's pretty thrilling.
E) I surround myself with the things that help me feel safe, protected, honored and loved. For me this means a small space in my house with an alter to Mary/all mother goddesses and a place to rest. This space is a room that also serves as my office/library/sewing room/storage room and hide-out. I'm lucky to have this but I feel, as Virginia Wolf said..."A woman needs... her own room". So I've taken it. Sometimes just going to that place and demanding my family respects that space has made it easier to find my way when the shit hits the fan in my life (Financially, professionally, spiritually, emotionally, what have you). They still try to invade but it's getting better, and so is my feeling stable in the midst of the daily chaos of my life which is sometimes astoundingly difficult.

I hope some of this helps.

lm

This is the second one of your posts that has really spoken to me so I just wanted to comment. :-0 The first one about the brain fuzz, and now the guidance thing. I feel like I'm in super duper need of guidance, too. But for WHAT? I have no idea. Life, I guess. Everything. I just can't pull myself out of the fuzz for long enough to really focus on anything but nothing. I just want to feel connected to something. Hah, what a mess!
I have no idea if it's the same for you. But I'm glad you posted these things.
It helped me in a really funky way to feel like I'm in the right place right now.

I believe. you know what you want in life, and you know how to get there. intuitively, I believe. If you are unsure of who you want to be, what kind of life you want to have, how you wish to live, when you want to do things, where you want to be in your life's path, why you feel motivation for and in your life, then first thing is to sit with yourself in some quiet place and look within. Ask yourself what you want, try to understand why you want it. Then, find the resources you need to make it happen. Resources are anything that helps you move forward in life, anything that helps you shape your existence into the life you want. music, books, websites, other people, all sorts of things can be resources. Use the net to find the information that will help you. Make an effort to meet and befriend people you are compatible with. for example, if you want to be a positive, resilient, kind and creative person, surround yourself with positive, resilient, kind and creative people.

I learn best through reading. a few books that helped me to shape and transform my life are:

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity (her site is temporarily down). like the author I believe that everyone is inherently a creative being. This book will help you develop and nurture your innate creativity, be it writing, painting, film making, photography, crafting, whatever. It will also help you to respect and nurture yourself and your soul.

The 7 Habits of Highly Creative People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. This book will help you learn essential time management skills. for me it helped me to move past living in constant crisis mode because I learned to spend the bulk of my time in proactive and preventative behaviors. I also learned to change the way I thought of any interaction and to improve my communication.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery. this book...deeply changed my life. It changed me as a person who subconsciously consistently sought conflict and chaos into a self-aware person who consistently seeks peace, positivity, and growth. I learned fundamental ways of looking inside myself to understand who I was, why I did the things I did, and why I reacted to others the way I did. This book helped me to truly understand that everything I did was a choice, and as such I always had control over how I chose to walk and be in this world.

best wishes to you! I loved reading this entry