Tis the season for Report cards, what do you do when your child doesn't do well?
Last week, all four of my children came home with school report cards, and for the first time, they were all relatively pleased with what was written on them. As a parent, it is a delicate task to interpret the school report card, especially in front of my child.
I am never quite sure what to expect when I first glance down at the columns of numbers, letters, codes and comments. But, having done this for some 12 years, I have developed some strategies. First of all, I find the absolute best grade or comment and then I read it aloud after, of course, having already pre-read it. Then I praise them for their efforts, and I ask how they felt they did, what they liked best and so on. This way, the conversation starts off well, and then we go through the whole report. I always pre-read the entire thing before hand. This is especially true of my elementary/primary school children. My teens read their own reports long before I ever get a glance—they know what’s coming.
What do you do when your child doesn’t perform at the level you hoped he or she would, or rather could? This is the situation we have found ourselves in time and time again.
Having given this topic much consideration, I wrote more. It is posted on my blog in full. I'd love your thoughts and comments. It's a topic that is often over shadowed by the joyous and busy season at hand, but report cards happen more than in just June, at least the December report allows for change and improvement for the second term, if need be.
cheers.
l
http://lorriemiller.wordpress.com/2009/12/21/tis-the-season-for-report-c...
a belly full a laughter, a heart full of joy, a mind full of dreams...
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threaten
cry
blame the teacher
blame myself
pretend it's not happening
honestly, i don't know. my kid does well most of the time and when she doesn't, i know it's concepts she's not getting and i talk to her about those. but she's never gotten less than a B so we tend to blow off report cards, for the most part.
You're too much. 
Muchos lovos,
Birdie
for getting it.
If your children are happy with what they have accomplished, as long as they aren't doing terribly, I think it's far more valuable for them to have confidence in their efforts. And unless one of them is planning on heading to an ivy league college, pre-college grades really DON'T end up amounting to much in the long run. As long as they continue to love learning, they'll be fine. A love of learning will inspire them to do their work- when you try to throw parental expectations into the mix you REALLY start to tread a fine line- your efforts to have them achieve may have the opposite effect of what you would like them to. That is the nature of children. They may be growing and learning- they are also learning to leave the roost and with that comes a certain sense of independence that I think is best guided by acknowledging their efforts (which it sounds like you have been careful to do) but not OVER encouragement (none of that gold star crap) or getting them to jump for a carrot.
My advice to a parent who is concerned about his/her children's grades would be to kill your television if you have one and just watch really good shows/movies on the computer. Don't allow video games in the house. And give them plenty of resources with which to learn. Read books. That would be my advice.
Good ideas about the tv etc. We don't have one, nor do we allow gaming (in the garage for the teens when their homework is finished). But for the little ones, not during the week for movies, and like I said, our tv's have no channels, never have.
But sometimes hard work only amounts to a C+. This is what I have to accept. Hard work for me resulted in a masters degree and a doctorate. I am not a genius by any stretch, but I work hard and I guess I am rather intellectual, but my daughter is an artsy jock and not an academically inclide child. It's my baggage, not hers. She is happy, especially with her A in art. So, I am happy with her and for her. But I have to say it was a surprise when she started reading... and then really didn't, not quickly, not focused. But she is reading, and probably by this time next year, she will be seeing greater success in her reading, mostly because she wants to.
Her teachers are great, so she has the support at school and at home to allow her success.
no blame, no punishment, no guilt, just love and support, but not blind to her difficulties.
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Blame everyone, anyone. a little humour is always welcome, even when grey, if not dark.
L