Reproductive Choice
I needed to start a new post here because I was so upset by the responses I saw on an existing post. Mamas, there is something very wrong when a group of women can get so hateful about another mother's reproductive choices. I thought Freedom To Choose meant freedom to make whatever choice is right for you! Every mother deserves support, guys! There are lots of stupid fucked up people out there who do a lot of stupid fucked up shit. However, I would really like to think that we as emotive beings are doing everything we can to create a safe place in our community, online and wherever you live, for a woman to work out the biggest decisions in her life. There is nothing more personal. Every option can be a viable option.
I couldn't believe some of the responses I saw! Where is the love??
Dragon Chic, this is nothing against you. You were posting about your personal response to an event in your life-nothing wrong with that.
But I had to point this out because I have seen mamas on here express disbelief that some other mothers had experienced discrimination in their community for choosing to keep their babies. Here it is, folks.
I am so dissapointed. Good night, guys.
- narcissusandgoldmund's blog
- Login or register to post comments
and i'm not even a teenager - you've completely missed the point, take your hippy ass elsewhere you chicken shit.
No, not cool. At all. You're angry, I get it. But I'm completely shocked by your tude. You've always had the appearance of such openness and acceptance, always having others' backs. And you lash out like this?
Eh, whatever, have the response you will, doesn't really matter. I just wanted to show my support for Narc here. I know, I know, go fuck myself. Gladly.
taking someone's situation, especially when their back is up against the wall - and making it your own pity party.
EVERYONE has a breaking point, am i the exception? no. am i one dimensional to you as a human being? should i only be about "acceptance and openness?" should i be able to feel that way for someone, when i can't even feel it for myself right now? are you perfect? are you capable of even cutting me any "slack" right now, when i might need it the most? clearly not.
i'm not telling you to fuck off, but you're clearly not a real friend.
i can barely see three fingers in front of my face, do you get it?
how many times have i supported you? if you choose to support this person's opinion, so be it.
don't jump on the famous "hipmama" bandwagon - i'm hurting and i have every right to express it - i may not come onto this site to talk about the things you're interested in, but so what.
leave me alone.
p.s. hopefully, you'll never have to be in my shoes. since you seem to have superior wisdom, just like i thought i did, maybe you'll be able to side step this one in the future. good luck, what a joke.
So now there's a her or you thing? We can't see the validity of both sides?
I didn't see any touches of pity party in Narcs response, and i can see how she might have taken offence at some of the comments.
I can also see why you feel intensely angry, and you need a safe outlet for that too. But blasting fire at Narc isn't cool in my opinion either, doesn't mean i don't like you or want to support you.
It means i want to be in a place where people can disagree without verbal violence.
Tigerfish Mama
Express hurt- by god yes, every right.
Proverbially bitch-slap someone who is a part of this community (she may not post much or often, but one glance at her profile and past posts shows that she's been hanging around a while)- nah, not cool.
I believe I can support her opinion (I do) and support you as a mama here (I do), and one does not conflict with the other. I haven't spoken to your situation, but let me do it here. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this shit right now. I really am. It sucks, and I'm sorry you're hurting.
If you feel like lashing out and being verbally abusive is an acceptable response to your pain, then so be it. That's your choice.
i can see right through this passive agressive attempt, and i despise it.
i despise it for so many reasons, mostly because i have ZERO respect for someone who decides to "stand up" for someone in a situation, they know NOTHING about. if you honestly cared to read the blog correctly and for what it was, you wouldn't have posted this ridiculous semi-rant.
are you rallying behind "harmoney", who is this person to you anyways? do you know her personally? are you rallying behind former teenage pregnant mother's like ME? who are you defending? what are you defending? are you serious?
the big question: are you planning on taking the three of them in? paying their bills? if not, shut up.
do the mistakes of people involved who are not literally down YOUR hallway, that news breaking to you?
what are you talking about?
you don't even know.
do you have a teenager? a son? who is knocked someone up? what is your situation? talk about yourself openly and honestly before you ATTEMPT to make me look bad.
OR any other woman who dares to speak her truth! this is MY truth, do you get it?
i would never tell anyone else how to handle their teenage son's pregnancy, and you shouldn't either.
back up.
i see why you're not a regular part of this community, you don't even the guts to call someone out properly.
enough said.
better yet - i really enjoyed your "pregnant with our 3rd story" - this makes perfect sense. i guess if i was someone like you, this would be the part, when i would post a ridiculous nonsensical rant about my son's unplanned pregnancy, in your blog? right.
**Breathe**
i think we need to let our mamas come here and speak their truth. and when that includes anger and fatalism and frustration and despair, i think we're strong enough to let the site breathe with it. i don't think it speaks less of our commitment to personal choices to let a mama move through her stages of acceptance of heavy shit going down in her life. besides, the responses overall were ok.
I don't agree. I don't think they were all okay, but I also have no room to talk because I have been so absent from this board. I do agree that this site needs to allow mamas to speak their truth, but that also includes mamas who have had accidental pregnancies (that's me! It really does happen and I am neither brain damaged nor an idiot). Does anyone remember who started this site? There are a LOT of teen mothers here, and what happens when one of them comes out and says - very kindly, imho - that she disagrees with some of the things that were said? A big fuck you. I really don't think that's cool.
"Step off my big ass."
- Anthromom
overall is not "all," but i see what you mean. don't agree, not at all, but i see how it'd be tough to read. i still think it's a reasonable expectation to be able to come here and state the truth as we see it, even if it's tough for some people to read. i wouldn't join anyone telling a mother who just learned her teen child is becoming a parent how to frame her comments on it. i wouldn't do it in my kitchen, and i wouldn't do it online, kwim? i've seen grandmothers talking shit about their grandchildren and their parent/s when the child is old enough to know what's being said, and that shit ain't cool. but when you just get the news? good god, i can't imagine having to hold back in that situation because a former teen mother might hear me.
and that's the last i will say on the topic. strictly speaking about what is and is not cool here. as one longstanding member of the board, as you are, i vote that it is cool to vent when hearing earth shattering news, including telling people to fuck off when they're told to restrict their speech about something personal. it sucks all around, but that's my vote.
I agree with Madame Filth. I would have put it a lot more crudely. And since that won't help, I won't. So, I'll just say I agree.
Am also restraining myself from getting pissy about who started this board, is long time member of the board, who is new, and the relative merits of such. [edited to add: I mean that I don't think it matters how long you've been on the board or how little time you've been here or if you didn't start the board or whatever or if you are not 100% just like the person who started the board or who was originally here - peoples voices are valuable and valued, regardless. Let's not have a pissing match or oppression olympics about who has it hardest.] I know that pissiness just makes other people be pissy, cos I just saw it happen to me, about one second ago.
Trying hard to see all points of view, try to see where each person is coming from and let everyone have their feelings. None of those steps is particularly easy, mind you.
Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough. -- Emily Dickinson
You want to do what you think is right and what matters to you, and if other people don't like it, as my father would have said, they can go fuck themselves. -- Amy Bloom
i am so not invloved with this huh imagine that eh? but what u said was right on bout ventin lord knows ive told a few folks here to fuck off.
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss
I get what you are saying. but you know what? a lot of the discussion about teen mothers on dc's blog and elsewhere on this board reminds me a lot of the discussions about the sex industry. Everyone's all supposedly supportive of selling sex in theory, but when it comes to asking, Who here wants their son or daughter to be a whore? crickets chirping.
and that's ok. Look, we all know dragon chic is going to help her son and love her grandbaby. We all know there are teen mom succes stories. Heck, I am one, as is dragon chic. That's not the point. The point is, this is not a situation anybody wants for their teenage child. She was just expressing her feelings. Did she jump bad at you? Yes, in response to you jumping bad at her. don't sugar coat how wrong you were to slam on her. because you did.
to:
merc, madam, turtle and deni - thanks guys.
take care - christy nc-17
Navigation
Who's online
Online users
- Reverend Mother
Who's New
- BeachBunny
- gayle.mallinger
- Mamapocket
- mjcwriter
- addie smith
Teenagers are designed to be dumb. And horny. NOTHING is going to get them to stop screwing. Not the apocalypse, and not you. Let's think of solutions to work WITH that reality, you guys. And keeping in mind that I know many, many grown, intelligent and responsible women who get pregnant while trying to avoid pregnancy, let's work with a reality that acknowleges accidental pregnancy, too.