the anti-feces of any kind inspired top 10/it's only saturday!
this is almost funny, at least, it could be - 5 hours after the fact! you be the judge!
1. so let's say that you've met with the crew last week and the instructor okay'd you to bust into the greyhound and scout it out - on the DL of course, or if you're you, you'd call it: guerrilla style. you say these things and get all excited. let's say that he and the director want to maybe shoot some stuff for the short film in the greyhound. you're the camera lady, and you can't wait to do it! so after work you head down there with something that might look like this, tucked under your arm before you enter the station, and it's turned on!
2. let's say that just 10 minutes prior to stepping in the station with the camera secretly loaded, you accidentally step both feet into a MONSTER SIZE pile of human feces! and shit! you only checked one shoe! and it's your nice-hard-earned-i won't even mention the fact that they cost $70 at nordstorm's and it took you all summer to manifest them hot-pink-deluxe shoes called:
3. FUCK! anyways, let's say you're doing your best and you make it inside and the room is jam packed with people! you don't blow your own cover! you fake a drink at the water fountain! whew! you make it upstairs into the shitty ghetto disgusting bathroom and your batteries are dying! you might be dying too when you're trying to clean the remaining shit stuck to your nice shoe! maybe you balance on one foot and stick the battery charger that you just tried to use at your gym, with no success, into a wall socket on the even more disgusting floor. you balance and you still don't notice the other shoe covered in human greyhound shit!
4. you feel defeated, the take is lengthy, and what sal wanted, it's what you wanted - but you can't even watch the whole thing, the batteries are fucked up, and you're tired you just left work the day after thanksgiving! you need to get home and eat, watch holly hunter in "saving grace" because every night it's gotten you through your daily studying, fatigue, care taking of the kids and other shit. you're also thinking about this lady:
5. 
susan seidlman
6. you're almost positive that you've posted this picture before, but you don't care! she is pure inspiration! you think about your last formal critique, #4. you start to research "desperately seeking susan" and susan, herself! you think about how much you like her movie "smithereens". you smile when you think about how nobody else is going to write about this film. the rough draft is due on dec. 2nd. and you'll have it in the bag!
7. you think about how hard you've worked in the first quarter of film school, and you can't even believe that you've made it this far! and it's only the beginning!
8. you think about your own film, and what you want to do to complete it!
9. you stay up late and say thank you to the universe for your life, family, friends and this kick fucking ass opportunity. you want it so bad. you have to have it. or else. nothing can take it's place.
10. you channel into the wee hours. you thank maggles for her nice compliment. you think about how strong your clairvoyancey is. what you've done to keep it that way, and rebuild your mind, life, heal your soul and all that good spiritual stuff.
11. it's only friday, people! enjoy the weekend!
12. you go. it's what you do.
13. you plot to go back tomorrow, in the daylight and re-shoot. you won't step in shit this time, and you're grateful that you noticed the other shit-filled shoe just in time and cleaned them both off. they look good as new. you'll do your mantra's, and maybe even help stacy and williams team with the voice over that they need to complete their commerical with. you like doing voice over's.
14. you like your voice, and you use it.
this one is for you, maggles!
hearts and other bundles of fun stuff!
glitter - christyxdc
- lost account's blog
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relieved to hear the shoes are still good.
-- you pulled it off! with grace, passion, and style.
"you go. it's what you do. you like your voice, and you use it." me too.
**Breathe**
Ah Christy Girl, you are the real deal. Out there doing your thing, living brave,
opening your heart to the world, even though it was probably scary to want things so much, to develop faith, to let yourself be SEEN and loved. But it's all happening for you now. Thank you for the post. I treasure it. The shit on the perfect pink shoe, the perfect plan- aint that the truth of life. BUT YOU KEPT GOING...I feel your resilience, it helps us all. xo 
PS Feeling a lot better. Your post helped a lot. Son is back from vaca w/ dad. We had a nice day. NO talk of trouble, I was a little distracted but OK. At bedtime he went outside and found two little stones. He worked hard coloring them in hearts and other "symbols." He rolled mine around in his mouth a little. He said this is what makes it magic. Then he handed it to me, and said, "this is your lucky stone. PUt it next to your bed, and when you go to sleep, make a wish. It will come true mama." And he put his next to his bed. And we both made wishes. He knows in his bones what I want in my heart- a great life for him, and me too. We all have our love stones in our hearts (and our hearts in our mouths). xo
Hello Christy, I just gotta tell you I love your blog and I actually read the whole thing like a novel a couple of weeks ago when I had a day off school. I can't tell you what a transformative process you have decribed, every word resonantes with authenticity and commitment. Since I have been reading hip mama and, more specifically, your blog I have lost 20 pounds, joined a gym and am basically just glowing. Coincidence? I think not! I am basking in the sunlit power of your words!
I loved the latest entry ,hilarious and profound. As Cluny some medaeval monk said " between piss and shit we are born". If you ever doubt the power of the vibration you're sending out in the universe just know that a Hip Mama in Liverpool, England has been lit up by your message. You've gone Transatlantic!
keep going and keep telling us about it, its what you do. Thank you.
hello beautiful meds!
man - you made my day! thank you for the wonderful compliment!
transatlantic feels damn good!
thank you for reading & appreciating my words!
great job on joining the gym! this is super! loving yourself more and taking care of the goods is #1 in my book!
more people need to do this, if only for themselves, their health, inside and out.
you know what i'm getting at here - just yesterday i was considering my own gym membership. how nuts is that?
it flashes in my mind once and awhile, the measly cost of $27 a month, has actually saved my life & really helped to get me on track. i mean it. i thought about where i'm at, right now in my life, and i wondered for a split second what would happen if i ditched the gym!
no way! *i'm guessing that it was my 2 seconds of craziness that creeps in about once every 6 months!*.
what would i be "saving" to take this away from myself? the two things that i've held onto * no matter what!* have been my gym membership and my netflix. a year ago, sharene explained to me that my netflix, is really my homework or investment in my career. and boy was she right! i use it not only for my pleasure, but i've researched a million and one films on it. it's been my main source this semester when it's come down to writing my formal critiques!
and the gym? i think it's the glue that holds me together sometimes. it's my outlet into a healthy present & future. i recently got back into weight lifting and i feel great! it's not just the instant gratification or stress relief, i honestly think it's helped to make me a better woman on some level.
my goal is to get slimmer, sleeker, stronger. *all the S words, i guess!*.
i want to run fast and have fun under the city of new york!
bigs up to liverpool!
love - christyX
I totally feel you on that, and I second medstudentmama. You are so inspiring, not only in what you do and how you live, but in that you share your perspective with others. I've told you before, you are like a ray of sunshine on this board. like a waterfall in a desert sometimes. Your words help lift people up, in a profound way.
i've been thinking about you lady! been missing you around here girl, big time!
i know you're busy - how is the bookstore and work going this week?
thank you for the amazing compliment - i appreciate it, beyond words!
you fill my heart with love, kindness and inspiration! and it feels great!
hearts o' bundles of gold!
your friend - christyXDC
we're moving the bookstore to a new location! it's taking a while because of work and stuff. Work is going ok, I originally just took the subbing job because of the flexibility (I can take off whenever I want without having to explain to anybody) and the money (it's about $125 a day for only 6.5 hours of work) but I got bit by the teaching bug. I kept going back and forth about going back to school (because I can't figure out how to fit it in with my writing, I write 20-30 hours a week, and the bookstore), if you remember I was planning to go to grad school to get a doctorate in physics, with the plan to teach college part-time and do research. Now that I've been subbing, OMG I really love it. There is such a deep need in the inner city school system I teach in, and though it's challenging, when you actually teach something, when they get that lightbulb! look on their face it's AWESOME. it totally turns their world upside down; they want to keep working on the assignment because now they get it! 
So now when I go back to school it will be for a Master's in education, my teaching licensure will be for 7-12 math. there's a 13 month program that's starting up in May. I thought of course at first science but I find I like teaching math so much more. and that age group...at first all I wanted to sub was the little ones, k-3, but I really like the 6-8 grades and then the high schoolers next. The little ones are nice but their energy level just tires me out so, you cannot keep your eyes off them for a second. It will be awesome to be a regular teacher, plus the money is so much better. Mercury Man is a teacher and has a Master's and he makes about twice what I do! more later, gotta go. love you!
hello ladybug!
so great to hear from you! i've missed you line a scorpiofiend!
what does the bookstore location look like? the layout? is it bigger? better lo-cal, overall?
this is amazing work, sista! be proud of this, i kno you are! i know how challenging it can be to juggle, but remember YOU are the master! you're tackling each situation, object, family, and every decision down to the bone/detail, etc. with finesse.
the subbing, is genius, you know that i support you doing this - ALL of your skills are seriously needed right now in the school system, i don't' have to say it, but someone should!
i know how badly you want to get your masters, but my gut instinct is to ask you this:
can you put this one on hold for just a year or two? the subbing is excellent income, that $125 a day, is a lot of money, period. AND the between the bookstore and your writing, *think about the most recent amazing book that you've just published and how much time, effort and energy it took to get it off the ground, FROM SCRATCH girl!!*.
i know that studying physics is a top priority, as it should be, but i'm also considering how many J.O.B.S you've pulled off prior to the teaching bug getting you, i think you'd be right on to keep up with the teaching, and just temporarily put on hold what you can right now.
just my 2 cents baby, that's all.
i'm heading out to the gym, my body is craving a good burn right about now!
i was shooting until 2 am in the freezing cold seattle air last night, my muscles need to relax and stretch!
i love you dearly friend, and i support whatever you decide to do.
forever your friend - christyX
your support is wonderful (((hugs)))
The new location is better because it is closer to where we live (which helps a great deal in getting help). you make some good points about school, very good points. I decided to go for it because even if I put if off, in a year or so I will still have a full plate. sometimes I would like to be a person who has a passion for one or two things, I think that would make my life, I don't know, easier? less complicated? something like that. but there are so many things I want to do and am passionate about. I don't live at a frenetic pace anymore, but I do have a full and exciting life. sometimes I feel like my life is bursting at the seams, like it's a Christmas stocking and I'm trying to stuff in more candy. There is such a limited amount of time and so much to see and do and experience. but I am learning to balance my life better and ask for help more, that has helped me a lot to slow down the pace and live more calm, internally calm and collected.
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i love these tennis shoes, in 37 YEARS i've NEVER invested so much into just one pair! all i wanted were pink tennis shoes! hot pink ta boot!
the crap was so fresh, it was a funny lesson for me - i was aiming for perfection, trying to take handheld guerrilla shots can be so challenging! i know this, what was i thinking?! this camera is monster compared to mine! i'll figure it out!
i'm going back out today to finish the job! wish me luck!
thank you for your support!
use your voice! ALWAYS.
forever,
cdx!