Sleep Overhaul Night #1
YAY! Oh, praise God!
Okay. It wasn't easy. We did snack then bath shortly after 7. We referred to the chart between most little tasks, so she saw what we'd done and what was coming. Getting through things took a while for some reason, but by 8:15 we were done reading. I then said I'd snuggle with her for three songs and then go sit while she went to sleep. She knew something was up, but I was determined. When I went to sit outside the doorway (with the gate in the doorway), I said "Mama loves you, but it's not her bedtime. It's your bedtime, it's your job to go to sleep. You're safe, it's okay. If you go nigh-nigh by yourself, you'll get a sticker in the morning." I just reiterated those sentences as needed for the next hour as she SOBBED. VIOLENTLY. Finally, after an hour, she crawled into bed, whimpered a bit, and was OUT. 9:30. I can totally do this, if it gets a bit better from this point on.
25/MN and WA. Queer, veg, single, AP mama to DD2.5.
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That's rough. I'm glad she finally went down! Blah. I remember those first few nights when I did this with DS, I sat on the floor where I could still hear him and he couldn't hear me and just silently cried. I felt so guilty!
You know what though? Some kids just have to cry to get to sleep. One of my cousins was this way, she would cry for about an hour every night. I felt so bad for her (I'm 8 years older) when I was at their house at bedtime. Her mom said she was like this until she was about 5, every night. DS was occasionally this way. Once we got settled into his routine he pretty much just learned to go to sleep peacefully on his own. When he was older I taught him to think about something cool to dream about, we even wrote out a few ideas on index cards. After we were totally into routine, I started watching the clock; every 20 minutes or so if he was crying and hysterically carrying on I'd go in and tell him "ok, time to calm down, go to sleep. Good night, I love you!" and he'd quiet down for a few minutes and the crying jags would taper off. Follow your instinct though, if it seems like she would get worked up by you going in there (and judging by her age, she probably would! Older kids you can reason with a little better); then let her get it out.
I'm glad that is working for you!
there's no government like NO government!
~hildare
and you might have some nights that are harder for a while, but then better again. I am glad you feel good about it.
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That's how it felt last night. I mean, we seemed to have a fairly good balance. I didn't engage with her, I didn't answer her questions ("WHY!?") I just said "I love you, you're safe, it's okay" or something similar maybe every ten minutes.