My Kid is Driving Me BATS#!T!
I love my daughter. Of course, we have our moments of sheer bliss, when she says "snuggle!" in her cute, pity-me voice in the morning, when she'll tolerate cuddling. And like now, when she's talking on her phone to an imaginary friend about her bowel movements (yay, potty training.)
Then there are the moments when she just wants to cling to me and type for me and jump in my lap when I'm changing the cat litter and I just want to throw her against the wall--or better yet, duct tape her there! (For the mandatory reporters out there: I would never do this. I just fantasize about it like all good moms.)
In other news, I have the AmeriCorps interview in the morning.
I'm kinda scared what will happen if I get this position, specifically in terms of my childcare assistance. I know it will cover my time serving, but the time between when I know I have the position and the time I start. It starts in August, so I'm anticipating that they won't cover me in the interim, because I'm not job-hunting and I'm not working. The thought of 4-6 weeks with H around ALL DAY, EVERY DAY makes me seriously nervous. I can hardly make it through the weekend, my patience level is just shitty. And she needs a lot. Tonight, she managed to get into my favorite blush...I splurge on makeup, I use Bare Escentuals, and I LOVE their stuff. It's expensive, though. It last a long time, which is how I justify it, but she dumped out like HALF OF THE THING! AND when she was supposed to be taking a nap this afternoon, she ate a WHOLE FUCKING PACK of gum. Whole thing. From my purse. I was asleep, because *I* needed the nap, too.
How will I survive a month?!
25/MN and WA. Queer, veg, single, AP mama to DD2.5.
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i so hear you. we're in the same damn place right now....my patience levels are shot lately, too, and it seems like the less patience i have for shenanigans the more trouble DD seems to want to get into. yesterday morning she woke up crazy early and dumped cupcake sprinkles and fancy colored sugar all over the kitchen, and then put the covers back on the empty containers and put them back in the closet. frigging wonderful. no matter how many times i sweep and vaccum i still keep stepping on little sugar crystals and everything keeps getting all sticky. grrr. she also applied sunblock to every surface in the house recently. that shit's not cheap, so i was annoyed on many levels.
anyway, would you be able to afford to pay put of pocket for maybe 2 or 3 half-days of daycare a week in the interim until americorps starts?? you absolutely deserve some time off, and it would be good for H, too because she could socialize and do her own thing for awhile. i send DD to daycare 2 days a week right now and although i can barely afford it i think it's 100% worth it; it benefits both of us *so much*, i can't imagine what i'd do if i couldn't send her. or are do you know any other mamas who you could swap some time with?? maybe take her kid for a day and then send H with them for a day (or night)??
i hope you work something out so that you get a break sometimes. we're not mom-robots, we're human...and there's only so much of themselves people can give before they start to burn out and get
frustrated. here's hoping you guys have way more sheer bliss moments coming up than "oh shit" moments. <3
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Thanks, Phoenix. I appreciate the commiseration--I'm looking at what I can do for that kind of thing. Just found out today I've taken too long to get my job search logs in, so they're slated to close my account (!?!!???) so assuming I'm able to grovel enough to get THAT sorted out...I just realized that's a totally unrelated sentence. I need to write a separate entry.