my morning

i woke up this morning and started to get my oldest daughter ready for her preschool graduation.
i wrote a friend a quick email to let her know that my marriage had dissolved. when i finished venting to her i saw that i had an email in my inbox from the woman my husband has been seeing.

this is what she said:
i hesitate in sending this. But caity tells me that some clarity regarding justin and my contact over the past few weeks might be appreciated.
>
> The day after he told me he was going to try and work things out with
> you I asked if I could see him so that we could talk it out. I wanted
> to know the facts of the situation and also to say goodbye. We met on
> my parents back deck for about an hour.
>
> At the time it was goodbye.
>
> We hung out this past Monday. It had not be planned or expected when
> I had last seen him.
>
> I forgot my wallet in the car. We met up before work on Wednesday
> morning so he could return it to me.
>
> I went to the coffee shop to get a tea, he came in a few minutes later
> to get a coffee.
>
> I smiled at him as I walked out and went to work.
>
> Other than that there have been sporadic emails.
>
> But that's it. The total extent of our contact since you guys talked
> about trying to work it out.
>
> I apologize if this is out of line or angering.
> But I hope it might be helpful to have the basic facts of our contact.

to which i replied:
why do you care to convey this to me?
you have shown so little respect for me, my family, my marriage and as a result , the copperworks by willfully destroying the foundation of it all.

spend as much time as you like with him.
you can have him.

i am getting a divorce.
i am selling the property.

i cannot be with someone who can lie to me and lie to himself everyday.
the same lie you told me by saying for months that it was over. you said your final goodbyes in feburary, and march and....

the quantity of time these days has no issue with me. he said he wanted to work it out with me. we hung out. he said he was coming over, then didnt... the next day he was distant, rude and illusive. same thing happened after you hung out on monday. his behavoir with me for the entire time you have been in a relationship with him has been distant, rude and illusive. i cannot be with that and he feels he cant be anywhere in this world because of the shame he feels from being such an asshole.

its over
thanks
>

then i went to the preschool graduation and sobbed like a baby.
fuck.

my neighborhood is once again ripe with activity and i am wishing for escape. i have been sewing and wishing we were living in our old house where my girls could get dirty outside for hours without any interruptions from SKETCHY neighbors.

UGGGhhh