Lyme Hell update-Light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel decent for the first time in months. I feel like me, I have been sick so long I forgot what it feels like to feel okay, to feel like me. My brain fog and memory loss is worse this week, but I am able to stay awake. i have so much more energy and....holy crap I'm happy again. I went to bed at midnight on Thursday and woke up at 6am ready to go. I've been sleeping 12-18 hours for the last 2 months, too exhausted to do much of anything. I'm bouncing off the walls now! I know that it will get worse again for awhile soon, but i am so grateful for this few days of happy, energized goodness to remind me what we're going for. I ran today, after months of not being able to walk more than a block or two without complete exhaustion/exacerbation of pain, fatigue, illness. I ran! It felt awesome.

I had forgotten what the light at the end of the tunnel looked like.

Everything is turning around. My disability claim was finally approved. We have enough money in the nick of time to pay the mortgage, food, car etc. for the next two months. I am slowly but surely making progress against this insane disease. My periods have gone back to normal after 2 years of craziness. Hopefully this means my hormones are getting back into balance. My body is coming back online. My son will begin treatment soon. We both have great, skilled, compassionate experienced docs who accept insurance and believe in lyme disease's ability to derail lives. They also thankfullly believe in treatment and its ability to restore.

Ethan's pediatrician believes that treatment may alleviate a lot of his developmental issues. He has seen kids go from lyme induced autism to off the spectrum and "normal" within a few months. That's the best case scenario. Any way, he believes that Ethan will do a lot better with treatment for lyme. If there is the slimmest chance that I can help Ethan reach his potential, I will do whatever I can to meet that goal.

Out of the blue, my son's lyme pediatrician called to say that someone is raising money to help pay for treatment for a family with lyme disease and that he gave the fundraiser our name/story. It may help offset the insane cost.

I have a gorgeous, sweet, beautifully souled man in my life who hasn't gotten the chance to know me when I'm not sick and has still stuck around. It's fantastic to be able to show him that I'm not just a sick, depressed, chaotic mess and that when I'm well, I am a grand old time, a fantastic mother, an enthusiastic lover of life. He's fine with me either way which is an incredible blessing.

God I missed me. We still have a long road ahead of us, but I can see it again, the light at the end of the tunnel.