Dreams
Dream 1 (the night I recieved that nasty email from BD's girlfriend):
Everything is monochrome, black and white mainly, but bits of dark colour, too. Dream-Self is in a field gathered with a whooooole bunch of people, which the dream implies is my town. I know that the people in this town are segregated into three groups, each group belonging to a different one of three religions. Everybody seems quite sad. Over the hills come rolling big ...things...similar to parade floats. there are three of them, each representing a different religion. I (as in me, not my dream self) do not recognize the two other religions, but one is Christianity, which is represented by a large Jesus (think of the Cristo Luz in Brasil) backed by a large yellow halo. All three floats come to a stop before the towns people. I am now three people in this dream, all of whom have chosen to sacrifice their lives to their religion in order for the rest of the townspeople to live in peace. Each year, these floats come to town, and one person must sacrifice themself for the good of the others. All three people walk into a door on the front of their respective religious floats. I am now inside one, a girl with long dark hair, dressed in black with a black headscarf. its dark, and I am walking through a long path of very thorny bushes. My clothing is tearing and i am bleeding. I reach the other side of this path through the float expecting to die. i open the door and am in the same field as I came from, only everything is sunny, brightly coloured and I am alone
Dream 2:
I am in a car heading to a party with N, a male friend of mine. I am talking about how Bear will be okay, I am only going to stay at this party for an hour, and I left him home alone in bed (In real life, I would NEVER do this! I don't even like to step out of the apartment door to see someone in the hall!). We get to the party, and its very elaborate, the music is good, the lights are amazing, and there is a huge jungle gym in the middle of the dance floor. I stay and dance for a bit, and then we get in the car to go home. I look at the clock and seven hours have gone by. I start freaking out because I was sure I had only been there an hour. The party had been some kind of wierd time warp. N was driving down the highway and I kept telling him to go faster. I got home, ran into the apartment and bear was asleep, but looking very distraught. He didn't want to nurse.
Dream 3:
Bear has been gone with BD for a few hours for a visit (real life ones are supervised). BD dropps bear off at the door, rings the bell and leaves before I get to the door. I open the door and pick Bear up, he is standing facing away from me. I turn him toward me to give him a kiss and am horrified that there are bite marks all over his face, some are bleeding and some have little welts. I start to cry and take off his hat to see that the whole top right hand side of his head is black with a bruise and soft. I take him to the doctor, but the doctor can't see it. I stand there screaming at him "what do you mean you can't see it?! It's all over his fucking head and face, are you blind?!" I call my mom, who comes over, she also doesn't see it. Bear is crying and I know it is because he is hurting, he is rubbing at the bite marks on his face.
Thoughts?
~Seriousness is a sickness; your sense of humor makes you more human, more humble.~
- bearsmama's blog
- Login or register to post comments
Variations of this are very common for parents. I had dreams when I was pregnant that I left DS places, just forgot him. Like I'd put him in his carrier and set it down on a table at a store and keep on shopping, I'd leave and realize later that I'd forgotten the baby in the food court. I'd wake up feeling panicked. DH fell asleep on the bus right after we moved in together, he woke up and freaked out, asking everyone, "Where's the baby? There was a baby with me, he's two years old and has blond hair, what happened? Oh wait, he's at home with his mom."
Dream 3. DO NOT leave bear with BD. He's not ready. In fact, I wouldn't until Bear is verbal. Like 4 years old or older.
Dream 1, I have no idea. Maybe you're feeling like a slave to your roots? A slave to society? A martyr to what you're supposed to be doing?
i don't know alot about dream interpretation, but there were a couple things that stuck out to me about your dreams. i can't say much about the first one, other than that i think it's interesting that you had it on the same night that K's girlfriend sent you that nasty letter. there were three different "groups" or religions in that dream, so maybe they represented you, k, and the girlfriend??
the second one is so similar to dreams that i've had many times, and that alot of parents i know have had. i think it's just subconscious fears about being good parents that come to the surface.
and the third dream really spoke to me alot, and i think alot of it can be taken at face value. in the dream you were the only one who could see the wounds that k had inflicted on bear, and in real life you fear that you're the only one who can "see" how dangerous he is, right? i agree that this dream only cements that you're doing the right thing, and that you should be confident in the wonderful job you are doing keeping bear safe from this man. at least until bear is older and can tell people about what they're unable to "see", k should be kept as far away from the little guy as possible.
dreams like these can really have such a strong effect on our emotions....dreams like these can stick with me sometimes for a couple days and give me a really eery, surreal feeling. examining what they mean always helps to release some of the uncomfortable feelings for me, so i hope it helps you too!
when you remember your dreams enough to write them, and have time to do so. i find i most often don't remember long enough to do it, or i'm late and rushing.
dream 1
do you think the dream-self may be how you view your child? living fractured life between three (you, bd, gf) compelling (religious) forces, and your fear that he's sacrificing himself to one at the expense of the other, or his own expense. a thought. considering the stress that the email would have put you through that day.
dream 2
i have it all the time. i don't fear that something bad will happen to my child, it's always me being negligent. often it's because i just stop caring what happens to her. you know, it's so tiring being vigilant, always worrying, always watching. i decide i don't have the energy to care anymore. which usually ends with me realizing i still care, discovering i put my child at risk and i was so wrong to just want some rest.
dream 3
if i was right about dream 1, it would make sense that this is a variation on the same thing. the kid being hurt in intangible ways, and your failure to prevent it.
i don't believe in dream interpretation, per se. i think often they are neurons randomly firing, conjuring images that already reside in your brain, unused. i often dream of celebrities or people i recognize but do not know well. like friends of friends. i know their affect, voices and looks, but i don't have the cognitive problem that arises from the implausibility of using these people as whatever random character i want, or deciding midway to change that character. they're like blank people, waiting for me to write my story on them.
.
come out
Navigation
Who's online
Who's New
- BeachBunny
- gayle.mallinger
- Mamapocket
- mjcwriter
- addie smith