The Weather's Always Fair When You've Got Friends In LA

My partner and I have experienced a tremendous emotional growth spurt over the last year...

Our relationship came back from the brink of extinction and we are moving forward on several fronts that all fall under the category of "finally getting our sh*t together."

This has been an incredible and amazing process and has brought us closer to each other, tested our limits for sustainable change, and focused our individual and collective priorities. Hence the baby dancing, the wedding-ness, the financial planning, etc.

Up until this point, one might say we've led lives prioritized a little more around having a good time at any expense and a lot less about creating a long-term reality and sparing the expense of our lungs, livers, not to mention bank accounts.

As we've evolved from the chosen destination of the those looking to get their party on, so has our roster of friends. And this comes at a time when we are excited to embrace these life changes and look to our friends around us for encouragement and support - as one hopes friends will provide if you've done so in kind.

Unless your friends live in LA.

Turns out there's an unexpectedly largish resistance to our movement toward a "we" place by those who are desperately stuck in their "me" place. As such, over the past six months it would not be an exaggeration to say that both my partner and I have either severed ties completely with or set strong boundaries with six of our closest friends. That would be three each, one for each month since our emotional growth spurt started. Some of these friendships were formed more than ten years ago, all of them were at least eight years old.

It's been hard on me, but in the many transitions of my life I've eliminated unhealthy relationships of varying kinds on multiple occasions before this. It's no fun but the eventual reward is a great sense of relief that follows the severing of a detrimental bond that was perhaps based on bullsh*t anyway. However my partner, also being a loyal Leo, has not really faced these sorts of crossroads before.

The really sucky part about the shady people in our lives showing their true colors is that it's not enough for them to sh*t on our plans for a future together, they also self-righteously condemn our choices in rude ways that mock our life path and truly sting.

I've long known and accepted that LA breeds these "me" people and have carefully cultivated my circle of friends as a result. And yet, on the eve of our wedding and as we embrace the creation of our own family, there has been some tragic if necessary weeding out of the a**holes in our lives.

Bummer.