Advice Needed about a sleepover

raspberrytoast
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Last seen: 24 weeks 3 days ago
Joined: 03/10/2007

Since then, my son has been HORRID!!!!

He hit his step sister in the face. It wasn't completely unprovoked and she wasn't hurt at all, but hitting someone in the face is never okay. Right off I wanted to cancel the sleepover.

The kid that my son chose to have over is kinda got a hard lot in life. His parents are split up and his mom only comes around sometimes, and there is a rumor that the kid may or may not have heard, that his dad isn't really his dad. His parents are addicts on and off again in recovery. He was born super premature, and has some learning disabilities.
Last weekend he was supposed to have a joint birthday party with my kid, but no one realized it and they only brought presents for my kid. So this other kid was kinda bummed, and got upset.

(The party was with my kid's dad, so I wasn't in charge of anything because we are split up)

So, when my kid asked him over I could hear him get all happy and excited, and I don't want to be another bummer for this kid because my kid was acting like a doosh. Also, this other kid is so sweet and well behaved.

So should I cancel the sleepover? Right now my son is doing "hard labor" chores around the house.

Creatress
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Joined: 01/29/2007
I'd say hard labor is

I'd say hard labor is sufficient, along with a good talking-to and possibly revoking some other priveledge if he's a douche again in the near future. I'd hate to cancel the sleepover for both kids because your son is making some bad judgement calls...maybe that's just me looking out for the other poor kid.

24/MN. Queer, veg, single, AP mama to DD1.5

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25/MN and WA. Queer, veg, single, AP mama to DD2.5.

raspberrytoast's picture
raspberrytoast
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Well so far he has cleaned

Well so far he has cleaned the kid's bathroom, and is working on his room.

I want to look out for the other kid too.

Thanks for the input.

http://www.ponycherry.blogspot.com/

Madame Filth's picture
Madame Filth
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since when?

it starts, "and since then..." is this after the sleepover?

and how old are these boys?
come out

raspberrytoast's picture
raspberrytoast
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okay, yeah that's confusing.

okay, yeah that's confusing. I have a bad habit of writing like I talk....I'll add names too. My kid is Ocean and I'll call the other kid M.

The bad behavior has been last night/today and I don't want to reward bad behavior, but I know M has been looking forward to coming over, and sometimes I feel like M can't seem to catch a break through no fault of his own.

Ocean is 10 and M is 12, and the step sister that was hit is 9.

http://www.ponycherry.blogspot.com/

Madame Filth's picture
Madame Filth
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but,

do you feel M is responsible in some way for influencing Ocean's bad behavior? if not, then i would say definitely go for it.
come out

raspberrytoast's picture
raspberrytoast
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Good point! M is prolly a

Good point!

M is prolly a good influence on Ocean.

Thanks for the perspective.

http://www.ponycherry.blogspot.com/

Catmama
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Joined: 10/16/2006
oh man, that birthday must

oh man, that birthday must have SUCKED for him. I would have him at your house for a sleepover. (maybe even surprise him with a little bday cake?)

From your description of his parents, I would not let my kid over there for a play date, let alone a sleepover.....

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raspberrytoast's picture
raspberrytoast
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Well we had the kid (M) over

Well we had the kid (M) over for a sleepover, and while we were in the car he told me that at his school (he is in 6th grade) the other kids call him gay and throw trash at him and poke him with pencils.

M said that we (dp and I) are really uptight.

I think the boys had a good time, and aside from them getting up at 6am, everything worked out well. Oh and we did get M a birthday present.

Madame Filth's picture
Madame Filth
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that's nice

that you got him something. what did you say about the school bullying? is this something Ocean sees? how does Ocean respond? that's so sad.

come out

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raspberrytoast
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Both my kids, Phoenix and O,

Both my kids, Phoenix and O, asked M why he didn't tell an adult at his school, but M said the kids know how to do it when the teachers aren't around.
M also says he has been to the principal's office for hitting/punching the bullys.

M said that all the kids at his school are "rednecks" and ignorant. I don't think Ocean knows what to say to M about it, but Phoenix (13) told M that the kids in his middle school were "redneck" too, and that M should make sure and go to college and meet people there

I agreed with Phoenix's advice, and they talked some more about the future and how kids and people act, and they seemed to be doing a good job of talking and relating as peers so I just reiterated the positive things.

http://www.ponycherry.blogspot.com/

Madame Filth's picture
Madame Filth
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oh, i meant

more like, how does seeing this happen to their friend affect them. M's at such a tough age. it could go either way.
come out

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