What Addie Fears Most

Addie is a bit of a night-owl. There are nights where she stays up later than us. Like, I'll get up in a hazy stupor to pee at 10 o'clock, and I'll notice her light is on, and I'll go in and she's reading fairy tales or playing with her dollhouse. I usually over-react because I'm so shocked she's still AWAKE for Christ's sake, and end up sounding a lot like my step-father: "What are you THINKING being up so late? Get in bed and get that light off NOW!"

I actually don't mind this as much as I mind it when she comes out of her room a million times while I'm trying to have my grown-up time. I'll be doing yoga or reading and out she comes for a drink of water. Out for a hug. Out because of "bad thoughts." You name it.

The first few times I use my gentle loving mama voice, "Back to bed, sweetheart. Your body needs rest so that you have energy at school tomorrow." Very Donna Reed. About that fourth time, though, I get all pissy alley-cat and break out the "grumpy voice" and threaten to do horrible things to her if she doesn't get in that bed and stay there and I mean it.

Last night. Fourth time out. "Addie," I say with the grumpy voice, "if you come out of your room again there will be a consequence."

Right. Reaching there.

"Like what," she says.

Casting eyes wildly about the room. "Uh, like I'll have to take something away."

"Oh," she said, her eyes brightening. "You mean like you'll take the teddy grahams out of my lunch and put in black beans?"

Pause. "Yeah," I said. "Like that. Exactly like that."

Where that came from, I have no idea. I have never once put black beans in the child's lunch, nor do we force her to eat them (or anything, for that matter). But apparently, on the list of consequences, eating black beans is up at the top near things Addie fears most. Good to know.

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