I mean really, how bad is it?
So dh is getting the snip on friday. And oh lordy is he acting as if this is the worst to ever happen. But at 4 weeks postpartum I have no sympathy for him AT ALL. I have tried to muster it up but it won't work. I mean for god's sake I broke bones getting her out of my VAGINA. I have given birth to his children four times with no meds at all! This takes 20 minutes and then he is done! Can't I just throw a bag of frozen peas at him and call it good? But boy will it be nice not having to worry about sex! Super excited about that. So how bad is it for the men? I mean really.
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I'm waiting for DH to have it done. He claims he doesn't want any more kids but I've told him if I get pregnant again and it sticks around, we're keeping it.
I heard that basically the recovery feels like having been kicked very, very hard. Going into the office is really the scariest part. But they do give out Valium sometimes, there is a painkiller, and frozen peas are awesome. And seriously, the recovery is like one day! Come on, dude. This is not the 6-weeks or 6-months recovery we go through with childbirth! Come watch me go through the process of a miscarriage sometime, you'd be camping out in front of the clinic. It's fun for a whole year or more! FUN!
Still though... pretend for a moment that they had to cut into your tits in order to prevent pregnancy. Pretend that your fallopian tubes were right up there, mashed against the nerves in your nipples. It seems a lot more scary now, right? I know the look of our tits is more of an issue in that MOST guys (at least that I've come across) prefer a natural, well formed breast with no unnecessary scar tissue (medically necessary scars IMO are totally sexy, it's proof you're in cahoots with a warrior woman!), and while a lot of guys seem to think we actually care about the aesthetics of the peener - when for the most part we really don't. But, he might be worried about the scar and the looks.
Bigger worry - complications; he might be actually worried about loss of sensation and performance, let alone pain of the procedure. On a more primal level; this is taking away the ability to procreate. You've got four already so he probably isn't wanting more... but a lot of people get off on the possibility of procreation. Also, if there were an accident or mistake in the procedure; and he did lose sensation or ability to perform; what about you? Would it be fair to expect you to hang around for very long?
Just throwing some possibilities out there! 
ha ha men do love to know they can spread their spawn around. cuz gee its soo much easier to have your tubes tied where they actually lift your organs out of your body to do this. I had mine cut and burned after my c-section and the doc literally had my uterus up in the air of course this is the point where i asked please for more meds. fuck 10 mins in the docs office are you kidding me?easy breezy mama
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss
could you imagine if that's all we had to do to not get pregnant??? sheesh
seed & flame
Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake. ~ Marie Beyon Ray
boys are babies. you are 4 weeks post partum, yeh, but WHAT ABOUT HIS NEEDS???
"...we can't solve global warming because I f---ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective."--President Obama
"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius"--Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
we had a friend that had it done, and for months afterward at any cookout he and the other guys would stand around talking about it, it was seriously like they were in mourning. They could not get over that he did it! ha ha
seed & flame
Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake. ~ Marie Beyon Ray
I honestly believe I would feel the same way! I love my DH like mad, care about his health and if he's feeling bad, etc. But this issue never evokes any empathy from me! I'm with ya, mama
he had the big V earlier this year. he knew it was the right thing to do, though he was still quite nervous about it. (((i had a hard time being sympathetic, for obvious reasons )))
it was quick. it was not easy. he was home with giant swollen balls for about 4 days. it hurt to walk, stand, move. he was better in about a week's time, though now, months later he is still upset with the doctor. apparently he didnt do a great job and now one nut is stuck up higher than the other and he has an uncomfortable scar.
it is so very difficult to be compassionate with this one, especially after we have pushed a few babies out... i would just do my best to be patient.
Sorry his surgery didn't come out all that well.
But you know what? All women have a physical mark or scar from having babies. Men don't have PPD, they don't get the stretch marks. Most c-section scars I've seen were from emergency sections and were all fucked up. One I saw on a very thin woman and it was jutting out like half an inch and she said it hurt for four years and she just couldn't afford to get it worked on. My scars tend to hurt for a couple years too. I hope your DH's scar settles in soon and stops being uncomfortable.
The tubal ligation is supposed to be less invasive these days, but the side effects fucking suck. My mom had one while I was being born (c), and since then she's had wicked, sometimes two week long periods, extremely painful, huge amounts of flow. This has been going on for 30 years now, she's gone to all kinds of doctors, specialists, they can't do anything about it.
i have scars from a bad episiotomy, c-section, intestinal surgeries, colostomy, and a cathidar that got infected leaving a lime sized hole in my chest.
my point is that women continuously put there bodies on the line with scary consequences, but you cannot discount another's expieriences because you have had a few yourself.
i would be a miserable person if i looked at each person with a belly ache and scorned them because my belly aches were worse.
it is truly difficult to be compassionate with a man getting a vasectomy, but he deserves a respect for the sacrifice he makes.... respect and a bottle of whiskey.
my husband had one (a long time ago, and then had it reversed after we got married and may get it again) and he said it was very very very scary, and it hurt some, but he was fine soon after.
Hal had it done. It wasn't a big deal at all. He was surprised with how quickly the procedure itself was completed and for the fact that he drove himself home and could walk just fine. He had to ice his nuts with a bag of peas, but that was the extent of his "aftermath" experience. He was all healed up within a couple of days. He said, "men like to exaggerate about how bad it is because they see the opportunity to gain sympathy and service from their wives." LOL!
My doofus BIL did this and his nuts swelled up like big purple grapefruits.
I've heard that with most men who are capable of following basic instructions, the procedure is pretty seamless.
"Too weird to live. Too rare to die." - Hunter S. Thompson
i gave my man a care package on his V day which included a pair of sweat pants, some of his favorite (tightie) undies, and a bottle of whiskey. it made him happy.
how did it go? DH is going Monday...after flying back all night with the girls! I asked if he wanted to change the appointment, but he figured he get it over with.
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And am really a caring person, as you know, for some reason, this has me feeling nothing.What is wrong with me? I have no sympathy. Like it was turned off. I know he will be fine. Is that it? I don't know. It is like am blank , void of empathy for the man I love when it comes to this.He could stub his toe and I would feel worse for him than a little snip!