Schroedinger's Waiting Room

My dad passed away yesterday afternoon at about 2 o'clock of cardiac arrest due to complications of diabetes.

It was sort of unexpectedly expected. We knew it was a looming possibility but not an immediate or inevitable certainty. It took me by surprise, but not shock.

In the car ride on the way over, I didn't know yet if he had died or if he would live. I couldn't fully simultaneously contemplate the dual possibilities . So I just drove.

I was fairly calm and peace when I heard the news, officially. I sat at the edge of the bed and patted my dad's foot in its black sock for a while when they let us stay with the body. It felt sort of normal that way. More like a hospital visit and less like a goodbye. I am okay. I am fine right now. I am with my family. When I am done with that I'll have time to think about how I actually feel.

For right now, there is no feeling there is just doing. Work and delegated tasks and things that I am needed for.
That is maybe as it should be. Love and peace. Corbid.