overwhelmed
oh goodness
i am feeling overwhelmed.
i wish i were a better mother. i wish i had more attention for each of my daughters. more focus to help direct them. i am feeling overwhelmed as we are moving through the medical maze, finding out what clementine's needs are, disciphering where she is at, constant appointments. i get frutrated while trying to teach her, while trying to do anything really. there is always somebody clamoring for my attention.
i am overwhelmed by our bills and lack of income, but that is not new.
i am feeling lonely.
i am feeling like i wish i had more time to be closer to my husband.
more time to organize and clean the house.
i wish i had my act together.
god, i sound like a domestic slave.
i enjoy going to work at night because my objectives are clear, i can do a good job. the customers are much easier to appease than my daughters, and in the end i feel successful in bringing home some money.
i know that my woes are common, but it can be really hard to reconcile my emotions in the chaos that is life with three small children.
- huck's blog
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And you are usually my heroine when it comes too combining domestic and artistic amazingness. Being sick (and the after math) makes everything feel so much harder. Keep trusting that C is a goddess in her own right. She's got what it takes. So do you.
That is the craziest thing, sometimes, about being a mama of needy young uns; you are never, EVER, alone, but often terribly lonely. There is no time to ask for help. From what one can tell from an online POV, you guys are passionate and creative and incredibly fun. You create community. You are smart and ambitious. You are struggling and sick and exhausted. You have three amazing daughters that love you so much they can't stay away from you, even when you are sick. Hang in there mama. xoxo
and I know whereof you speak. I'm not around here much, but I hear you! I hope you get a peaceful moment soon.
If you weren't overwhelmed sometimes it would be a sure sign that something wasn't right. (Go double negatives!) You are doing a lot and it is stressful and overwhelming and hard, but it is also beautiful. Your body/heart/mind are looking out for you and letting you feel overwhelmed. The system is functioning! Let yourself feel it and know that this will pass. And you have my superwoman vibes comin' at you until it does. 
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