downwardly mobile and pissed

HI Mamas,

Upset tonight at how hard it is to get ahead. Know I am better off than many, have a good paying career. BUt on my own in an outrageously expensive area, I just go month ot month. I have a good lifestyle. But tonight I was so pissed about this rental house and how much money I pay, have had to fight and fight and fight for the simplest things, no help from a partner- me against The Man all the time. Finally after 2 years here they agreed to put in a couple outside sensor lights, rather than pitch blackness at night to enfold me as a single mama. AFter their nasty sexist electrician insulted me a few times, he put up fixtures ONLY, did not finish the job. Just in time for one of my best friends, visiting from BOston area- who 20 years after college is rich, owns 2 big houses, she and her husband super successful, and in her case lots of help from her parents too. I was the poor one in college who had to transfer out of that private college. Still htat way it seems. Just wanted to sit outside on the patio on my cheapo furniture, but no, pitch black still. Scary electric wiring, so they brought some laundry to do and for the 20th time in 3 weeks the washer just shut down mid cycle. Same nasty electrician had come back to fix THAT this week and the minute he came in the washer just mysteriously worked again when he turned the knob. He replaced a fuse, left. Blew again tonight. ALl this can be yours for $2575/mo NOT including utilities ($100/mo). I refuse to just "grab" one of the eligible successful bachelor dudes around these couple years- cuz i wasn't feeling it for any of them. But his freedom sucks in certain ways. I'm sick of the bullshit of doing everything, fighting for everything, not being able to relax ever really. A couple of my oldest friends had more family help, married well (financially) and have never ever had the daily worries I've had...they are RICH. And most of the fams around here in my path are a lt better off than me financially, too, while being stay at home moms. I love my life, my path, but this is f-ing hard sometimes. At my age my part time professor dad had two houses, including one in France, my mom had a modest house on an acre, as a stay at home mom! They'd been dirt poor, but made it on the GI bill, and you could buy a house w/ little. I am waiting for the New Deal. I hope Obama does something good for mamas, single mamas, having been raised by one. I'm tired of being forgotten, aren't you?

Sorry to rant. Thank you.

My son is the best. I'm a good woman. That's the bottom line. But it's exhausting never being held, never having someone drag the trash out, fight the landlord, pay a bill, handle a tantrum.

LOVE to you all,
M