questions and answers
Thought I'd ask some questions! Partly just interested, partly researchy,but in no official way.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
What are your best parenting attributes?
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
I will fill this out but I don't want to go first and set the tone.
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What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid? the constant attention
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid? the constant attention
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)? enjoy the freedom now!
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without? my boobs
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated? uh, pretty much all of them!
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why? Ina May's, made me realize that the laid back way is the best way for us.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why? What to expect when you are expecting
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why? I can't think of any I would want to be!
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you? hmmm...2?
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby? nurture more, freak out less
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"? talk to them
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends? Partner-made us more stressed, parents-made me more grateful, friends-lost a few
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring? Yup!
What are your best parenting attributes? ability to laugh at absolute chaos
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise? patience!
we have almost the same replies!
"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius"--Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
complete monosyllabic answers, but then I would be more boring than stupid.
Wheeeeee! I think I am going to have a convulsion from watching the head spin round and round this late in the evening.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid? Being nice to them.
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid? Functioning without sleep.
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)? "Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers!"
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without? Sling. Tits. Big bed.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated? Pretty much everything except the sling, tits, big bed and cardboard boxes.
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why? Spiritual Midwifery and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Because they made me feel capable and strong and ultracool.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why? The What to Expect Series, and some horrible book about having a second baby and how your first would hate you and resent you forever. I forget the title. They both made me feel like I didn't know shit and that kids are aliens rather than human beings.
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why? The mom in "Wrinkle in Time" because she didn't trip about her son not talking for a long time. She didn't trip about her kids being weirdos.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you? 2
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby? sleep more
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"? talk to 'em, demonstrate, do it with 'em, wait. I mean, for Pete's sake, they have like 70 years to get it right; they'll do it eventually!
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends? Made me more resentful, cuz no-one lifted a m*therf*cking finger to help--even when I asked directly, over and over and over.
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring? Yeh, that's why I have metal bands at my baby's graduation.
What are your best parenting attributes? Allow my kids to be the freaks that they are.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise? Impatient, forgetful, tired, snippy. Get drunk in front of my kids. Swear. Did I say forgetful? Not enough vegetables, too poor, talk shit about their incredibly shitty dad. Leave them home alone. They're teens and I still trip about this, but they don't. And I'm forgetful.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
sleepless nights and temper tantrums
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
sleepless nights and temper tantrums
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
don't sweat the little stuff so much-enjoy your baby/child life is too short.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
the almighty double stroller-insert angelic choir here-
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
its a tie between the diaper genie and the bumbo seat
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?
I don't read them maybe I should
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
see above
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
Kate Goesling(sp?)-she rules
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
I wanted 6- I have 4-still want more though
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
enjoy him more and not stress the small stuff
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
they will potty when they are ready to-they will eat when they are hungry, they will sleep the whole night before they are 20 years old hopefully-if you try to make them do these things when YOU want them to, your doomed!
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
dh and I are on auto pilot most of the time
friends? had to find new ones
my mom thinks I am doing everything wrong
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
no way
What are your best parenting attributes
we have fun together,we are like a little team we make the most of what we have and the time we have . I get right in there with them-I know how to be a kid but I can still be the mom when I have to.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
sometimes I pull away from them, I lose my patience with them too easily, I could be lazy and let them watch tv and video games too much.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
Eh, I didn't think much about it.
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
Learning to appreciate each moment and live in the moment because when I do, everything else is easy. Specifically, its hardest when I get all caught up in my head about how much I want "peace and quite," and Max just keeps talking/fighting/ect.
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
Trust your feelings and opinions about your children NO ONE will know them better than you, especially a doctor.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
With Max, my sling. With Bella, the stroller. With both, the cart cover.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
With Max, the crib. With Bella, the double stroller. With both, bottles.
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?
Dr. Sears, The Baby Book. I still refer to this book for developmental stuff. It was a great resource with Max because it gave me the courage to parent with my intuition. With Bella, it has been great in keeping one step ahead of her pediatrician. When Dr. Blanco says anything worrisome about Bella, I consult my Dr. Sears book to see if Bella is within the range of "normal." I also use it because it helps me know/understand where Bella is developmentally-wise.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
I typically avoid bad parenting books. However, I did peak into, What to Expect When Expecting ... and wanted to steal them all off the shelf and throw them into the dumpster. I felt like every section set the expecting mom up to depend on her doctor and fear her body.
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
SoulMama. Her life seems angelic and dreamy. Like, even when she's angry she's floating and beautiful. Her children seem so cooperative and agreeable all the time. And when they aren't, she just floats around them sprinkling sparkling fairy dust over their heads.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
Two. But my fantasy is to have four, and lots of help raising them.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
I would get him into his own bed before I had my second.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
Let them lead. Or, at least let them *think* they are calling the shots.
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
Partner: it gave us something(one) to mutually focus on. It has improved our communication in all areas of life. It has totally fuck up our sex life because we can't just do it when-ever/where-ever we want. However, It has made sex better (when we actually get to do it) because we appreciate the act more. Having kids has also made us appreciate one another more (yes, I can speak for both of us on these matters!). Parents: Stepdad, we rarely talk anymore because I don't have the energy to maintain the connection and he doesn't have the knowhow. Mom: our relationship has improved. I realized how great of a mom she was (before she got sick when I was around age 12). She realizes that I'm an adult. Friends: Old friends: nothing has changed except my ability to see them and what I can do when we do hang out. New friends: I actually spend time with lots of women with children whereas I never did before having kids.
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
No. I've always been stupid and boring.
What are your best parenting attributes?
My ability to listen to my children and respond the way *they* need me to respond and still be true to what I feel and think.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
Everything.
(Note: I cross posted this into my own blog and put a link in to this blog.)
"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong."
- Laura Stavoe Harm
I love Kate!
"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong."
- Laura Stavoe Harm
Thought I'd ask some questions! Partly just interested, partly researchy, but in no official way.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid? Staying up constantly was my biggest fear...and rightfully so.
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid? Finding time for everyone...
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)? You're not a bad mom if your kids has stains on his shirt or screams for a little too long...it's all trial and error.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without? the Baby Bjorn...it was my favorite carrier. It fit well (I'm not a small person, height or weight-wise).
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated? cribs
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?
The HipMama Survival guide, and no, it's not just because I'm on the site. It just opened my eyes to a new way on parenting that I hadn't thought about before.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
What to Expect When You're Expecting- it freaked me out. I was thinking if pregnancy didn't kill me, childbirth surely would.
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why? Esme Carlisle from the Twilight series (Stephanie Meyer); she loves her "children" but never interferes with what they need to become responsible, caring people.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you? it used to be four, but with this new baby coming next week, I guess it would have to be 5
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby? I'd space my children out more, waiting about 3 years with each one, instead of 18 or months.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"? Patience, perserverance, pain.
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends? Yes, because I was only 20 when I had my first one. Most of my friends were still in college, so when I got married and had a baby, they were more than a little shocked and they didn't know how to react to me at first. Then I did everything backwards by starting school again while having MORE kids.
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring? Maybe to some, but I think it made me more of a human.
What are your best parenting attributes? My kids know what respect is, because I will not let being disrespectful fly in this house. My kids can go in public (80% of the time) and not make me completely nuts. I must be doing ok.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
I'm too harsh sometimes. I'm trying to break the yelling habits.
I will fill this out but I don't want to go first and set the tone.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
I assumed it couldn't possibly be all that hard. I did find most kids annoying so that was the big challenge in my mind
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
dealing with his irrational behavior after not getting any sleep.
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
I hesitate to give advice because I rarely take it. Go with your gut.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
the boppy. All we did was snuggle up in that pillow for the first 3 months
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
baby monitor I think is the most overrated, I mean I could always hear him but we were in a two room apartment so maybe if you have a huge place it's harder?
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?
I didn't really read any. I skimmed What to Expect which I didn't find that offensive. I read the Hipmama survival guide too
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
my MIL sent me those god awful Jenny McCarthy books.
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
There isn't one I'd want to be.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
2
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
I would not supplement, it just took longer to get to exclusive nursing. That was a decision made in a heavily sleep deprived state. I would get more sleep too & not stay up watching the baby while he slept
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
ha, my kid runs around & does as he pleases. He eats when he's hungry sleeps when he's tired, still doesn't use the potty (my fault, I am not really trying to get him to do it)
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
We talk less
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
nope, I still feel just as fabulous as ever, fabulouser even
What are your best parenting attributes?
my indifference 
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
I suck with structure, I am not good with keeping schedules, that kind of thing.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
I THOUGHT IT WOULD ALL BE TOUGH, BUT THAT I WAS BY FAR TOUGHER AND COULD BE A TOTAL SUPER MOM (boy was I in for a surprise).
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
THE WHOLE TIME & PATIENCE THING 
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!!
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
HMMM... I CAN'T REALLY THINK OF EVER FEELING LIKE, "WOW, I'M SO GLAD I GOT THIS. I NEVER WOULDA MADE IT." IT'S GREAT TO HAVE THE CARSEAT, STROLLER, BOUNCY, ETC., BUT AT THE TIME, WITH MY 1ST, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A CAR... SO, MAYBE THE STROLLER?
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
I NEVER USED THE WIPES WARMER
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?
"THE MOTHER TRIP" BY ARIEL GORE. IT'S WHAT BROUGHT ME HERE AND REALLY HELPED ME OUT AT A POINT WHERE I WAS FEELING LIKE I WAS SO LOST AND TERRIBLE AT WHAT I WAS DOING.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
CAN'T THINK OF ONE
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
I'VE HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT IT'D PROB BE ANGELINA JOLIE. HOT MOMMY, HOT DADDY, COOL LIVING SPACES, A RACK OF KIDS (SOME BIOLOGICAL, SOME ADOPTED), MAKING TONS OF MONEY ACTING AND BEING DIRECTLY INVOLVED IN A LOT OF GREAT CHARITY WORK... I COULD LEARN TO LIVE LIKE THAT.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
IN MY CURRENT SITUATION, 2. IF I COULD STAY HOME, 4.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
I WOULD HAVE TRIED TO ENJOY THOSE 1ST FEW MONTHS MORE. I WAS TERRIBLY TIRED, DEPRESSED, ALONE AND SURE THAT I HAD RUINED BOTH HIS AND MY LIFE.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
THE P'S
LOTS OF PATIENCE, POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT, & PRIZES
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
I DIDN'T HAVE A PARTNER THE 1ST TIME AROUND, SO THAT DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING THERE. I CERTAINLY FELT MORE EMPATHY FOR MY MOTHER. SHE STILL DIRVES ME NUTS, BUT I THINK I UNDERSTAND HER MORE NOW.
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
NO. BUT I'M CERTAINLY NOT THE GAL I ONCE WAS...
What are your best parenting attributes?
THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS THAT I PUT MY BOY 1ST. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND THAT'S WHERE AND HOW MOST OF MY PARENTING COMES ABOUT.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
GIVING IN BECAUSE I'M JUST TOO TIRED TO DEAL WITH A HISSY FIT.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
keeping the baby alive! (seriously!)
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
finding the patience to get through the day...
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
if people offer you ANY sort of help-- ACCEPT IT! i never wanted to, and freaking should've!
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
honestly, the excersaucer. being a single mama left me in the position of having to keep the baby safe while still finding time to bathe, clean, eat, etc. the excersaucer was my BEST FRIEND (and the baby's!). i used it until she was 14 months old because she never realized she could climb out of it! i'd bring it in the baathroom, kitchen, wherever i needed to be for a while.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
her father was pretty overrated and useless at the time. but seriously, all of that stuff is overrated, i guess. we could've survived with just a bed and my boobs. oh, wait-- the tiny shoes people kept giving us are the stupidest waste of money i've ever seen! i didn't put shoes on my kid (ever) until she was a year old and starting to walk! but people gave us tiny boots, tiny sneakers, tiny fancy shoes, tiny rain boots.... all i could think was ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS PERSON LAYS AROUND ALL DAY AND CRAPS HER PANTS! SHE DOESN'T NEED SHOES!!
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why? the mother trip
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why? can't think of one that sucked.
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
kate from 'john and kate plus 8'. she's fucking amazing!
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
don't know yet. i'd love for monkeygirl to have siblings... maybe one *or* two of them.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
kick her father out the minute i found out i was pregnant! have faith that i could handle it all without him! realize that he only made it all harder! also, get out of the house more the first winter she was born. BD moved out when she was 7 weeks old and so she and i spent the winter alone in our tiny apartment. i was lonely and (although i didn't realize it at the time) depressed and should've gotten out more and spent time with positive people.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
somebody tell me, please! don't force it on them, i guess.
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
being a mother made me respect myself so much more, and start standing up for myself in areas of my life where i was being seriously mistreated. it gave me the strength to realize that i didn't need (or want) BD. it brought me closer to my mother, and made me feel isolated from most of my friends. our lives are just so different now!
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
boring-- sometimes i'm afraid it has. stupid-- kind of! sometimes i feel like my brain got tossed out with my placenta. my memory is fucking GONE.
What are your best parenting attributes? openness and acceptance of anything my girl is/will be.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
not being selfish! not being lazy!
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
Childbirth
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
Balancing responsibilities...to him, me, my partner, my work, my family, etc. I am never not juggling something and I always feel like someone is being shortchanged.
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
Don't be afraid of anything. We're MADE for this. Making babies, having them and raising them. Rely on biology. I used to tell myself "hey, crack wh*res can do this- so can I!" I know that's totally insensitive but it got me through. I also invoked this image of women in ancient cultures, working the fields with their pregnant bellies, pausing for childbirth, then getting back up with a baby in a sling and working some more. It made me feel stronger somehow.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
The exersaucer rocked for about two months. Really, we have something called "baby prison" which is really just a glorified play yard (see it at: http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=6193&parentCat...) and he's 2 1/2 and STILL loves it.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
Bottle warmer. Crib.
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why? The one I wrote in my head.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why? Pregnancy Over 35
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
I like the Angelina suggestion. Also maybe Katie Couric- she talks about her kids alot, makes them aware of the larger world and flat out refused to go to Iraq for reporting because she didn't want to risk orphaning her children. That takes moxie.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you? Two. Gotta work on DH to have another.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby? Relax. Trust myself more. Enjoy the baby moments more- they go SO FAST.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"? Beats me. At 2 1/2 he still nurses, co-sleeps and wears diapers. I suck at these things.
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends? What friends? they evaporated. My partner and i have a better sense of each other and a bit more respect. I can stand up to my own parents a little better. My dad has just about disappeared. He told my dh and I that we were out of our fricking minds to have children (can you feel the love?) and that has set the tone for our post-child relationship with him.
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring? Nope. Just made me obsessed with All Things Baby.
What are your best parenting attributes? Pateince. Unconditional love. The ability to function on an incredibly small amount of sleep.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
See above question about sleep/eating/potty training. And apparently I'm not silly enough, according to my family. Also crap at setting boundaries and sometimes I forget to let my son be small and childlike. And about 1,000 other things on a daily basis. But he's happy, reasonably healthy and kind so I must be doing something right.
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
Besides paying for stuff, I guess I was worried most about doing every little thing perfect.
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
Constant negotiation, the little weasel!
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)? Relax, trust your instinct.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without? Ergo baby carrier.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated? A baby bathtub (I used mine once)
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why? Dr. Sears. Just the facts & great advice all around. I like that his wife & sons contribute to the book & that I can name drop him with my kid's doctor when we argue over stuff like co sleeping and vaccinations.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
What to expect when you are expecting. For some reason this book pissed me off.
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
The young woman who has a baby & runs that cafe in fried green tomatoes. I can just see myself in an old thirties housedress in that cafe's kitchen.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you? Two ( I have one now)
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
Not be swayed so much by what I thought people were thinking of my parenting style. I would also have tried to get him in his own bed a bit sooner.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
I still don't have this one down. Mine potty trained and weaned when he was damn good & ready despite my best effort. It just happened effortlessly all of a sudden one day. As for sleeping alone... or on demand, I am stumped & will be seeing what you all write.
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends? Well, we almost called it quits. We move halfway across the country to get our marriage and family back on track and that was a so hard. Now my husband & I are better to eachother and as parents & we are really happy together.
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring? No, on the contrary, I think it made me a more complex, a whole hell of alot smarter & certainly more interesting.
What are your best parenting attributes?
I know my kid. I use my mothering intuition and usually it is right on.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise? Getting down on the floor playing around with monster trucks ( dad is way better). I also suck at building blanket forts, putting together craptastic hot wheel loopty-loop thingies and I really really suck at not vaccuming up my child's ant sized playmobile accesories
What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
discipline
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
keeping living space clean as I'd like. kids are dirty as what-knows
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
sleep when baby is sleep. don't neglect your partner.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
snugli
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
baby swing, baby jumper
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?
dr. mom's book because she had 5 kids starting early 20s, then went to medical school. in book stressed taking care of mama as well as kids, do your own thing.
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
can't call name, had big wacky crying-it-out section. Did not mention that hearing a baby scream can cause some folks like myself to feel homicidal, thus better to just pick baby up for god's sake.
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
jada pinkett because she seems so relaxed.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
3 is nice
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
Relax, relax, relax. first baby, I changed her clothes a million times a day, boiled pacifier every time it dropped on the floor, read a bunch of parenting books, etc.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
Use assertive tone of voice, short simple commands, maintain eye contact. Repeat. Kind of like you do with dogs. Be no nonsense about it.
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
Parent before I was an adult, too long ass of an answer
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
No
What are your best parenting attributes?
I'm kind and loving to my kids. I appreciate their innate goodness and intelligence.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
Have been known to make shooing or shushing motions/noises when I'm writing and they're trying to talk to me.
Positive Emergence
Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. ~Author unknown
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What did you think the hardest part of parenting would be before you had a kid?
being constantly with them - no time to myself
What do you think the hardest part of parenting is now that you've had a kid?
The constancy - not having any time to myself leads to me being less present and short with my kid. I have really high expectations of myself that I can't really live up to all the time.
What is your best advice to a mom-to-be or new mom (if she's actually asking for advice)?
hold the baby, nurse the baby, love the baby, respect the baby, repeat. For a kid - love the kid, talk to the kid, touch the kid, respect the kid, repeat. And that you need to trust yourself and your child - more than any so called expert.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller could you not have lived without?
boobs is number one, I loved my ergo and for quite a while I was really into my "new native" sling. Oh, and i loved the boppy thing for a while there.
What baby gadget/equipment/furniture/carrier/stroller was totally overrated?
changing table, crib(never had one), stroller (which I was obsessed with before I had the kid), baby toys, bottles (never used them), disposable diapers, swings and baby chairs, "the nursery". "baby gym". never used the bumbo seat but I have seen them, and i hate them.
What's the best parenting book/baby book you have read and why?hip mama books (general), how to raise an emotionally intelligent child (really useful and has helped me too), our babies ourselves (people do things differently + babies aren't convenient, nor should they be).
What's the worst parenting book/baby book you read and why?
expecting stuff (I couldn't really get through the pregnancy one so I never tried again), happiest toddler, a bunch of sleep books that suggest cribs and not nursing
If you could be any celebrity/fictional/media model of mother, who or what would you be and why?
gee, I wrote this question and I don't have an answer...dang. oh, ok, the mother in the book "keeping faith" because she loves and respects her daughter and believes her and believes in her, no matter what.
How many kids is the ideal number of kids for you?
I don't know - I have one, I would love more but my medical issues with the first kid make me not want to try again. So I would love two or four kids, but will probably have this one (and he's more than fabulous enough, it's not like I'd be settling.)
What would you do differently if you could go back in time and start over with your first baby?
get my husband to help more.
What is the best way you know to get kids to eat, sleep, "potty train"?
eat - give food, let them eat it. If they don't like it they can have something else when the next meal rolls around. Sleep - well as a baby I nursed him to sleep, now I sit next to him and read to myself until he falls asleep because he likes the company and I like to read. Potty training - don't push them. Diaper off as much as possible. I actually trained my son to pee outside and then transitioned to the potty. it worked great.
How did having a baby change your relationship with your partner, parents, friends?
partner - i never wanted to hit him before we had a kid together...I am angry that he doesn't help more, he is annoyed that the house isn't cleaner, but we are closer, we just don't have time to devote to the magic of each other. Parents, my dad is dead (still) and I no longer have a relationship with my (abusive) mother, thanks to my kid (having him helped me see how completely wrong everything was and had always been with her, and that it wasn't ok for me to let him be around that, or for me to be around it.)
Did having a baby make you stupid and boring?
to some, sure. But no. I actually get more done creatively now than I ever did (because I have less time and don't have the luxury of waiting for inspiration), I've never been stupid. I read less, but still a lot.
What are your best parenting attributes?
I can explain things in different ways, I am not afraid of thoughts, I am flexible, I respect my kid, I can read his emotions before he starts acting on them negatively.
What do you sometimes kind of suck at parenting-wise?
getting overtired or multitasking too much so that when he asks me a question I get irritated or short with him. Feeling upset if I can't help him calm down easily.