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Can an agnostic really begin to believe?Submitted by peculiar old bird on Thu, 05/15/2008 - 1:22am.
I think we may have avoided the poop collection party. Max went to school today and hasn’t had a diarrhea or vomit incident all day. Yay! As of yesterday, Bella’s food intake has been light so its possible she may have what-ever it was Max just got over. Oh, the joy. Since Bella has been taking anti-histamines, about 2 months now, I have been eating just about everything and anything I want. And let me tell you, I can feel the difference in my body and mind. I don’t think it is good for me to eat dairy. At all. I also am not keen on wheat and gluten. The diet I was on for Bella was the HEALTHIEST I have ever eaten in my entire life. I felt free of the mental urge to eat for comfort. I ate for nutrition. I ate for my health. I didn’t start thinking about lunch right after I ate breakfast. I didn’t crave processed foods. I craved specific vegetables. I ate until I felt full AND STILL LOST WEIGHT. I felt physically good for the first time in I don’t know how long. It behooved me especially because RA prevents me from cardio exercise. I think Bella did more for me than help me loose 50 lbs. She showed me a different relationship with food. One that I prefer. My sinuses always feel full. It feels like I have an extra coat of fat ON TOP OF MY SKIN. I just don’t feel good anymore. I’m moodier. I’m getting PMS, again. I’m less patient. The challenge now is to eat healthy for myself… which is way harder than eating for my baby girl’s health. I have to find that space of two mindsets…1.) what I do for my health indirectly affects the health of my children and 2.) love myself. I laid in bed with Bella this afternoon snuggling, kissing, playing and almost felt my heart explode with Love. She is such a soft spot in my life. So tough yet so soft. When I’m near her I feel her energy. No, her energy is directly connected to my own. When she is in my arms I look around and feel connected to Max, Hal, Camus, my friends, and the very Earth beneath my feet. For the first time today, I started to believe that there IS something more to this world than what I can see with my eyes. Or with a microscope. peculiar old bird's blog | login or register to post comments | email this page | printer friendly version
how so, if you don't mind me asking. was it something specific that happened? i have a hard time pinpointing it but did the best i could when i sat down to write this. i watched an episode of Oprah about reincarnation and had chills as i sat on my couch and pondered the information being shared. it was earlier in the day that i felt these feeling i described with bella in this post and i felt like that episode was articulating what i was feeling in a way i had not considered. it freaked me out. in a good way. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) Oh, this was such a beautiful post to read today. Thanks! Wow, thank you! i didn't see it as "beautiful" - rarely see stuff i write that way so it was such a nice surprise to come here this morning and read that. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) It was the part where you and Bella were snugglin'! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Beautifully written. I hope you are able to find a good approach to food that works. (Can't imagine wheat/gluten/dairy-free actually WORKS in terms of social events, etc.) (Can't imagine wheat/gluten/dairy-free actually WORKS in terms of social events, etc.) LOL! when i was out and about i would be the lone person standing next to the raw veggie platter! this is also another aspect that changed in my relationship with food - when i was with friends, i had no interest in food and instead directed all my energy towards socializing... which is what i thought i always did before. However, i began to realize that i was having as intense of an interaction with the food at the party as the people. now, food really is the accessory, and creates no "excitement" for me. this was hard at first because when i would see food i *wanted* to eat but couldn't, there was some depression involved. like i was seeing an old friend who didn't want to talk with me, or something. once i got used to - read: it became the norm, habitual - eating healthy whole foods, food had no emotional power over me. it was quite liberating! it took about 4 months for me to feel free from the power of obsessive eating. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) |
You feel for your daughter the same way I feel for my son. Aren't they just amazing? Aren't we just so lucky?
i've begun to ponder this very notion myself...