ladies,

this is for you!

1. i'm up late, typing in the dark. i'm thinking about all the things i have and how lucky i am to be here. i got a great massage at work the other day, i'll continue to do this for myself,

2. i'm getting off the bus early friday morning, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. everything is so wide open, for the first time in my life, i see this/notice this. my path is totally clear, there is nothing blocking me.

3. one of my best friends has a boy that likes her. he's super cool, and i hope that she opens her heart up to him. today we went to a total dive and had lunch. i love this girl so much! this scrappy place is delicious, close to my work, and loaded with drug dealers, etc. out in front. we laughed and had a great time. her light is so bright, and i always remind her how much her friendship means to me. she will star in my first action adventure film!

4. my counselor has pointed out to me several times that in the past i have tinkered with the fates. teetered on the edge, done things that were dangerous, etc. she asked me: "have you learned your lesson? are you done doing this?". i told her yes, but i'm not sure. i want to dig deep underground, i want to see things that even men are too scared to face. does this make sense? i want to uncover what people say is impossible. i believe i can do this.

5. thinking about my life and where i'm headed, what i want and what i need. i'm signing up for the first of 3 film courses that i want to take in june. wish me luck!

6. i've added to my mantra's and i know that people have noticed at work. sometimes i laugh, because they just shake their heads and think: "oh, it's just so and so doing her thing AGAIN". and their right!

7. sometimes my kids see how tired i am, sometimes they even hear me crying in the bathroom. sometimes i feel bad about this, but what can i do? life is good, but i am a human. i can stop myself and turn my attitude around, i can create something better for myself, with minimal effort. it shall be done.

8. before's - if you're reading this, please know that i'm thinking about you, can't wait to see you this summer! i know that you're working hard, i appreciate all that you do for this world. you're protecting children and supporting mom's! this is priceless.

9. a good friend at work grew up in new york and laid out some must see's. she's suggested tribeca, manhattan, bronx zoo, central park, etc. this lady is special! she's a writer, super smart and has cute ass kids.

10. i am so much more than just a mother, or even a woman. my masculine side has been out of wack this week, mostly because my period is due. i'll work towards the balancing act. BUT, i have to rejoice in being a chick with a dick! my dick is nice, SOMETIMES!!!

11. hilary clinton will save the world.

never stop dreamin' life is sweet,

dc

is a dragon lady!