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these are saturnday grats - hi!Submitted by dragon chic on Sat, 05/03/2008 - 7:33am.
ladies, this is for you! 1. i'm up late, typing in the dark. i'm thinking about all the things i have and how lucky i am to be here. i got a great massage at work the other day, i'll continue to do this for myself, 2. i'm getting off the bus early friday morning, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. everything is so wide open, for the first time in my life, i see this/notice this. my path is totally clear, there is nothing blocking me. 3. one of my best friends has a boy that likes her. he's super cool, and i hope that she opens her heart up to him. today we went to a total dive and had lunch. i love this girl so much! this scrappy place is delicious, close to my work, and loaded with drug dealers, etc. out in front. we laughed and had a great time. her light is so bright, and i always remind her how much her friendship means to me. she will star in my first action adventure film! 4. my counselor has pointed out to me several times that in the past i have tinkered with the fates. teetered on the edge, done things that were dangerous, etc. she asked me: "have you learned your lesson? are you done doing this?". i told her yes, but i'm not sure. i want to dig deep underground, i want to see things that even men are too scared to face. does this make sense? i want to uncover what people say is impossible. i believe i can do this. 5. thinking about my life and where i'm headed, what i want and what i need. i'm signing up for the first of 3 film courses that i want to take in june. wish me luck! 6. i've added to my mantra's and i know that people have noticed at work. sometimes i laugh, because they just shake their heads and think: "oh, it's just so and so doing her thing AGAIN". and their right! 7. sometimes my kids see how tired i am, sometimes they even hear me crying in the bathroom. sometimes i feel bad about this, but what can i do? life is good, but i am a human. i can stop myself and turn my attitude around, i can create something better for myself, with minimal effort. it shall be done. 8. before's - if you're reading this, please know that i'm thinking about you, can't wait to see you this summer! i know that you're working hard, i appreciate all that you do for this world. you're protecting children and supporting mom's! this is priceless. 9. a good friend at work grew up in new york and laid out some must see's. she's suggested tribeca, manhattan, bronx zoo, central park, etc. this lady is special! she's a writer, super smart and has cute ass kids. 10. i am so much more than just a mother, or even a woman. my masculine side has been out of wack this week, mostly because my period is due. i'll work towards the balancing act. BUT, i have to rejoice in being a chick with a dick! my dick is nice, SOMETIMES!!! 11. hilary clinton will save the world. never stop dreamin' life is sweet, dc is a dragon lady! dragon chic's blog | login or register to post comments | email this page | printer friendly version
you really laid it on the line and blew me away when you opened up to me. i have to tell you that i not only appreciate your beauty and truth, but i've also been thinking of how to respond. you know that i'm not always like that. but this time is special and i contemplated sending you a private message, but why? nothing is secretly that private, and yet it should be. i trust you, and this is what i wanted to say from my heart. 1. oregon was a hard place for me. i spoke to my counsleor about this last week. it boiled down to my ex having liked the place and not laying the law down. i hated living there for many reasons, and he could have spoken up but didn't. i'm glad that we left it. (again, i think even the kids likeed it there!). i found it very isolating and ass backwards. i think living there became another nail in the coffin, in terms of my marriage. only because he would have rather bought a house and set up permanent shop there. for me it was just a 4 year pit stop. you see the difference here? what one person thought was paradise, another person hated. this was the reality that i created for myself not just in oregon, but for all the years i chose to live with someone who didn't love me. 2. so when you say that you wish you hadn't moved there, i'm one woman who gets it. 3. the upnote is that i think you've done quite well there, and you'll be safe. does that make sense? you have a lot of things going for you, that i didn't have at that time time. you can do anything you want to. the meth jerk is gone, and your family is together. 1. life with your man sounds like it's settling down. things are okay right now, and that's all that matters. do what is right in your heart, you always have and you always will. i support you staying and working it out, 100%. 2. motherhood - who tells you that you're a great mom? does someone say this outloud? they should, because it's true. (back to oregon and friends topic). 3. when you talk about not having a support network, i get it. we didn't have one either. i had maybe a handful of friends that i met over the course of 4 years, none are here today. 100% of my emotional support came from 1,000 of miles away, via the phone, just like you. this was unbearable at times for me, it put a strain on my marriage and i felt like i wasn't anchored to anyone/anything. upnote: when i see pics of your beautiful face posted on your myspace, i know how real you are! what i mean is this: you've lived life on your own terms, you're healing yourself and moving forward. when you reach out to other women and think that they don't understand or like you just know/believe this: it's one thing to BE a force field and it's another thing to live it. some women will only see the surface, and be jealous of your beauty. you're a complex sexy creature and you've been around the globe, lived many lives, etc. not everyone is used to that idea or can accept that as a "true" reality. keep trying patty, don't give up on people. i'm just one woman who accepts and loves you for who you are and what you have to offer this world. would i type all of this if it wasn't true? no. and you know why? because i'm a fire goddess, dragon slayer, at work, ( most of the time!) my time is precious. today i realized that i don't have anyone in my life who isn't already famous, a star, a powerhouse. i'm interested in branching out and taking people up, into the stars, moon, sky, galaxy, etc. hell, i gotta take myself up first, or none of this shit can get done! i've left behind the people who didn't love me, people who ultimately didn't/care or understand know my value or worth. people who don't/won't/can't love themselves. we don't have time for it anymore. you've done all of this too! be proud and keep dreaming up your majic. thank you for your support, i need it. love, xsty a fire breathing/green scaled mistress production! And signing up for your film classes! I am back at school to study today but just wanted to let you know I'm reading and thinking of you! xoxo "I have no country. As a woman, I want no country. As a woman my country is the whole world." - Virginia Woolf "If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament." - Rose F. Kennedy hello cords, i appreciate and need your support! i'm downing piping hot brown sugar oatmeal, as we speak! how is school? i want to catch up with you! my path, my life, my soul/higher self - this has been a long time coming, huh?!! i'm shinin' extra bright for you today love, can you feel it?! hearts to the good men in your home - dc is xsty! forever! a fire breathing/green scaled mistress production! glad to see the road opening up. #4 absolutely makes sense. You are one of the few people who could actually pull this off. #7 -- it will get easier. I promise. It will. i'm thinking about you babe! how is the crew? what about your trip, what did you guys decide? i really hope that you go! thank you for supporting the most challenging #'S!!! you are my friend! #4. this must be done. i can't ignore it. #7. i woke up dreaming that i was fending off some pervert, and it had to do with some sex stuff. strange! i was bold and literally pushed him away, we were sitting on a couch. that massage i got helped with my tension, i had no idea that a woman could hold tension in her chest! strange! i think that once my period hits, i'll feel better. i'll take you up on that promise, i know that you're right! i sense that i'm in the holding pattern on the man front because the person that i'm destined to meet it taking care of some personal business. this will be nice, he can help me seal the deal! hearts to you! forever, xsty! a fire breathing/green scaled mistress production! i think you should write a book, just a little inspirational ditty, no biggie. what do you think? you write about hard times but hope always shines through and it feels good to read and it's inspiring. hope you have a beautiful weekend. Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant. - Jim Cole this could be fun! thank you for suggesting this! inspiration and imagination are key here! how is the baby girl? how are you? the message that i'm working on today is: "Remembering past successes". this is what i came up with: 1. 7th grade science fair. won an unexpected ribbon! 2. 8th grade dance. It was the peak of my punk years. I came in wearing a pink taffetta dress, white gloves/shoes and a pink ribbon in my hair. People were surprised! 3. Junior prom. Peak of my "Mod" year! I wore a black spandex dress, black fishnets, high heels (nice ones!), a silver snake belt and black jacket. The diamond cut in the back of the dress was nice! I had the cutest date, an exchange student from Spain. It was a hit! 4. Settling the San Francisco VS Seattle score. I was retarded for doing this! 5. Learning not to take things personally when someone is stupid. 6. Holding down this job for over a year and a half now! 7. Making friends easily. 8. Bagging the men that I've wanted. Most of the time! 9. Getting in the Industry and making a lot of money, meeting up with great women and getting out of the Industry when the time came. 10. Loving myself. 11. Healing myself. consider that these types of personal lists, are the most important in the world. because if you focus on success, you attract more of it. it helps to stop negative thoughts, etc. someday, i'll nail this one. my wish for you: love, honor, strength, resilience, and fire. xsty is dc! a fire breathing/green scaled mistress production! Thank you, fierce one. I am so looking forward to seeing you this summer. The Bronx zoo is kinda sad, but the Butterfly exhibit makes it worth the visit. We should check out CoSM. I think you'd dig it. Yes, these childcare gigs are very gratifying. I love being with the kids and helping out moms. It allows me to stay home with Jonah and makes life more sane for other families. XoXo thinking of you too. why have i been thinking about it for days now?!! i needed to just do it, i'm sorry! what is the CoSm? i can't wait to hear about this! a good friend of mine said that it's beautiful where you live, this is going to be a blast! you are single handedly holding it down for these women. you know this. i will continue to give you mad props for it, because it takes core strength and stamina to run the show for other families. and you're doing it! you've provided your family the best life befores! i mean it! i have a lot to learn from you! jonah is a sweetpea! annie and jesse are solid! when skye and mars get to meet with your kids, it will be history in the making! love, xsty - dc a fire breathing/green scaled mistress production! |
#7 i think being caught crying in the bathroom and your children noticing is healthy. I think that they know that you are somewhat overwhelmed, and thats normal. I think its great that you get caught, because that way they learn that life is hard, but not hard enough that a mom should get so beaten up by the day to day that she loses her focus and just breaks down in front of them all the time.I think all mothers should be heard crying behind the bathroom door. It sends a great message and is a valuable tool. Especialy to your son, who is almost a man. Well, legaly that is, and hes going to need to know that women are chalk full of emotions that range from slightly above indiffrent to well past overcome, they need to know that life is difficult. Even if we had alot of money, beauty, love, a sweet car, a talented dog and a personal chef- its still hard and I am sure even Janice Dickinson cries behind her bathroom door all the time!
#3: Oh how I love to sit in places that play songs like "Rock n'Roll fantasy" and the whole place smells like stale beer and cowboy killers! I love haggerd women named Tammy that have bags under their eyes and feathered hair for the past twenty five years and yet somehow manage to keep their size two figure. I love guys with big beards, potbellies, cocaine nosejobs and harleys that are worth more than their trailer! I like going into shitty places like that and getting looks from out of the corner of their eyes as I bite into something not organic with no portobello mushrooms, no avacado, no capers, no pinenuts, just some shitty redmeat piled high on crusty white bread with some saurcraut and cheese and a limp pickle spear. Don't forget the fries!
#3. Where would humanity be if we all decided to go for safe and stable all the time?