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Good grief, what else?!?!?Submitted by bleu7102 on Fri, 05/02/2008 - 3:32pm.
I am a fucking moron. I'm a total mess right now, I've just been screwing up at work left and right, and I'm tired of dealing with my crazy-ass, dipshit, idiot of a boss. How much more can I fuck up, seriously?!? I don't want to be here, I'm stressed out, I don't care about the work I do at all, I'm worried about other things, I'd rather be with my kid. But I have to be here, for the time being anyways, and I can't keep fucking up like this. What the hell is wrong with me, geez?!?! The last screw-up she doesn't know about yet, I caught it before she did, and it's not hard to fix, but she'll probably know before I can do it. I just can't deal with it anymore. It's not like she yells or screams or flys off the handle, but really, I don't want her to know I've messed up, AGAIN. Ugh, she's so gonna know, and I just have to suck it up and face her when she does. Grrrrrrr, I'm so mad at myself, I try and make sure that I've covered all my bases and there is always that ONE thing that I fuck up. I wanna go hide in the bathroom and cry for a while, but I don't want the red puffy eyes, so I'll skip that I guess. Okay, I just needed to get that out, thanks for letting me vent. any way to just breathe and keep it in perspective? I know how hard that is... is that, sooner or later, they always seem to reap what they sow. One day sometime soon your boss and your job there will be nothing but a bad dream, and you'll be somewhere different and better. But I hate those days when you just feel trapped, and I know how helpless it feels to keep making mistakes because you are tired and stressed out and the people around you don't understand. You are not working one job, but juggling about three when you have kids. Maybe five. Anyway, hang in there mama. This is not forever. "Too weird to live. Too rare to die." - Hunter S. Thompson screw your boss. she doesn't care about you, she doesn't know you, she wouldn't say, "No, you stay home and take care of that sick kiddo an extra day or two." Don't cry. Shes not worth it, shes just an expendable face in the river of life. Or maybe cry for the release, but I do know one thing for sure. You are a damn talented gifted human being, because if I did payroll you best believe there would be some mob action in the parking garage come pay day. And if I got to work in an office, I'd wear shoes like Pam Anderson and I don't think they are good for running.
BleuRoo Handcrafted Sweetness Do you have a job like mine where when you do things right no one notices- it's business as usual- but if you screw up even the tiniest bit THAT's what people pay attention to? So even if you do 90% of your job great people's impression of you is that you're a f**k up because of those little mistakes? Yeah... sucks. Ha, I work in payroll, so one little screw up could mean a heck of a lot to someone. Ugh. Although, most of the mistakes I've made aren't whole paycheck missing kinda things (in fact, that hasn't happened, not because of me anyways!). It's mostly been mileage or taxes, or stuff that doesn't affect someone's pay. And my boss makes the same damn mistakes herself, but she seems to forget this. When I was on maternity leave she talked about all the mistakes she made cause she was doing it all herself. I mean, when you do payroll for 700+ people, you gotta figure there are gonna be some errors! BleuRoo Handcrafted Sweetness This too shall pass mamacita. I need to make this my mantra lately. Thanks BleuRoo Handcrafted Sweetness |
No she doesn't care, she literally hopes I don't sell my house so she won't lose her assistant. And that's cause I'm the only assistant who has lasted this long (hmmmmm, go figure that one out). She went through 4 or 5 in a 6 month period before me. I'm very surprised I have not cause a riot yet, no mass zero checks have been sent out!
Thanks guys, I can always count on HM to make me feel better about my situation. You guys put plenty of humor and perspective in it. Monday is a new day!!
BleuRoo Handcrafted Sweetness
http://bleuroo.etsy.com