I decided not to say anything, which is good because when I picked Marc up today and looked at his sticker chart I saw that no stickers were missing. When I pointed it out he told me that the story from the other night was "just pretend".

Ok, so, I see now that my son has mastered the art of storytelling! Just thought you all should know. But thanks so much for everyone's advice anyway!

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. ~W.C. Fields

If you're concerned then I would talk to her. I wouldn't approach her confrontationally- I'd just go and tell her I was concerned because of what I'd been hearing from my son. Then she has the chance to respond with her side of the story and if it happened exactly the way your son said. Maybe there were more reasons for her taking away stickers than the fact that he did not sit still during music and that's just the part he focused on or the part that he chose to tell you about, ya know? Or maybe it's a case of the teacher not properly explaining her reasoning- which would be a problem. I mean, SO many times when a kid needs to be disciplined and you ask them if they know why you'll find that what they think they're being punished or reprimanded for isn't it at all. Like you tell a kid he can't have ice cream so he throws something and you punish him- if you don't explain that he's punished for thowing, when asked if he knows why, he might say, "because I wanted ice cream and it's before dinner". I mean, it's possible that your son did something to protest when she told him that he had not been good in music and that's why she took away the stars, right? In that case she needs to work on the way she communicates with the kids.
My point is: whether it's bad judgment on the teacher's part, plain-old bad teaching, or just miscommunication I think it's better to talk with the teacher and clear things up.

It is the end of the year but...why shouldn't you be able to express your opinions? it IS a public school.

I do not think you are being too sensitive. I think that if you don't advocate for your kid...who the hell else is going to?

That said...How long has she been teaching? How many kids does she have in her class? what's her background and training? does she have any support in the classroom? has she been properly taught how to manage the # of 5 year olds that she says? Does she have some kind of mentor or department head checking in on her? I could probably think of a dozen more questions.

Maybe this is something that you should bring up with the principal. I mean...every teacher has to start somewhere. Unfortunately, there are mistakes that you make as a teacher during those first few years. Looking back on it, my first year teaching (I was 25 and was teaching HS seniors), I probably did more harm than good. Hopefully, that's an exaggeration but you get the idea. Like I said, every teacher has to start somewhere but if she's not getting the training and support she needs then it's a school problem and not necessarily her "fault" you know?

Or...I don't know. Maybe she's just a bad teacher, I just thought you should consider the whole picture. There are so many things wrong with our nations educational system but parents can make small differences by speaking up when they aren't satisfied, don't ya think??

Good luck with your decision.

p.s. I do agree with whoever said, you probably shouldn't say things to your child like, "well, that's a stupid rule" or like statements. I don't know if you are or not, but blanket statements such as that one could do a lot of harm to your child's sense of respect for adults and authority figures. This is something that the mother of my husband's daughter does and I think it's really detrimental, especially as such a young age.

I don't know. I'm beginning to think saying something is better than not, even if it's something small. It lets the teacher know where you stand and sends a message to your kid, that what they tell you is taken seriously. Just my two cents.
PS not that I think this is a small thing, just something happened yesterday to my son where he forgot to write his name on his paper, although the teacher reminded him, he forgot and she threw away his work after he was done with it. I called her and got nowhere, but at least maybe she will think about doing it next time. you know? And if my kid isn't telling me the whole story or fibbing a bit about what really happened, at least he knows that I'm willing to call and investigate and hopefully he will think it through before he does it again, get me?
"Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we're here we might as well dance".- Maya Angelou

my son was in a grade one class with a teacher who prefrered girls and would bribe the kids with getting to pick out of the fishbowl. the fishbowl was full of candy ususally. she sucked.
we didnt approch her about it, but we did talk to caleb about it. different people have different rules, and i think its important for him to see that.
luckily his other teachers have been great! i agree. it really is hit and miss in the public school system.

I'd probably just sit down and talk to her about how the sticker system works specifically and what she bases her sticker giving and receiving on - then I would probably make her explain to me about the not sitting still part and what her solution is to help the child, a real solution, not stickers. who cares about dumb stickers.

I tend to take the role where I'm not going to go against the teacher, but I will question until it makes sense, hopefully making them re-evaluate it themselves. It's like my way of saying "I see what your doing and I don't agree with it" without actually saying it. But then again, I have a problem with being passive aggressive in those kind of situations and I can't say that's necessarily good...

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i don't know how old your son is, i'm gathering maybe first grade or so?

i would probably only mention it if i got some indication of a pattern. from one mention, i would not go telling a teacher how to do her job. he's going to have many, many teachers in his life, and i would be willing to bet that few to none of them would teach the way you do. i would, however, take care of my child's self esteem by mentioning to him that the teacher seems to have strange priorities. in that conversation, i would have told my child, "that's funny, she asked who was good at music, not sitting still." you know, or something like that to make sure he didn't internalize that criticism as criticising his music. it's ok to teach kids to sit still for as long as they are able, and i think often a teacher is in a better position to make progress with that than parents. it's a good thing to learn.

And I'd be thankful the year is almost over.

I think you are being too sensitive. Shes a proffesional too and is going by her instinct and her background. Thems the breaks. I think it would be doing everybody a disservice including your son to confront the teacher about something so insignificant. i think parents don't realize how much kids lie and exaggerate and he may know your feelings already and be playing up to them to get babied, or to see that look of concern come across your face because it makes him feel good that you worry about his day. They are smarter than we give them credit for. i wouldn't even tell him they are stupid rules, what makes them stupid? Because you disagree with them? I plan on picking and chosing my battles with the person that has alot of influence over the quality of my childs afternoon. I know I would be super annoyed if you came with me concerning this. Part of growing up is developing a tougher edge and sucking it up and having to except the people directly responsible to your wellbeing, education, eventual livlihood may act and think diffrently than you do and sometimes its your job to be submissive in the face of authority and divirsity. I learned just as much schoolasticaly and on a personal level from teachers that were more rigid as I did the ones that were super sweet and supportive. Not nearly as fun, but kids are insanely intuitive and he will know, I promise you -that shes just a bitch if thats the case and not take it personaly.