Wits End *way too long, but what’s new*

Submitted by bleu7102 on Tue, 04/15/2008 - 4:41pm.

Okay, wise mamas, help me out here. So I am totally at my wits end with my babe and nighttime. I’m sleep deprived and am getting resentful and cranky, and I hate it. Let me give you a typical night: he’s almost 11 months old, and we have a pretty set bed time routine. At around 6-6:30 he has dinner in his high chair, at around 7-7:30 he has a bath (not every night, usually every other unless he’s particularly dirty), then around 8 or when he starts to show signs of sleepiness he’ll get a bottle and either me or DH feeds him and he’ll go to sleep drinking the bottle. Of course there’s playtime and all in between everything, letting him get his energy out and spending as much time with us before bedtime. Anyways, once he’s good and asleep, we put him in his crib and he’s usually down for a while.

Now, here’s the fun part. For the past 2 or 3 weeks, every night between 2 and 3 am, he wakes up. It’s almost like clockwork. There have been a few earlier nights, but for the most part it’s 2-3. He’ll start fussing and crying, so I’ll go in and pick him up and try to rock him back to sleep. Used to he’d go back to sleep just fine in my arms, but when I’d try to put him down, he’s not having it. Then I could put him in the swing and he’d swing off to dreamland. Now, he won’t even go to sleep in my arms anymore, he’ll just lay there awake. Try to put him in the swing, he’ll start crying. He just wants to be held and awake. Try to put him in bed with us, and he turns into a flippin jumping bean, all over the damn place, rolling, crawling, scratching, kicking, etc. I’m sure at this point he would happily engage in play, but I’m not too keen on starting a 3 am wake up routine. I’ve tried giving him a bottle, hoping that will lull him into a nice, tummy filled slumber. But no, he’ll drink it all then stare at me adoringly while I rock him. After about and hour, or much more, he will finally succumb and let me put him the swing and eventually go to sleep. Sometimes with a fight and a few waking up and crying episodes, sometimes just fine until morning.

So, what gives?!?!?!? I mean, I know he’s been teething, but this isn’t waking up in pain thing, I’ve been through that. This has been going on much longer. I know that when babies start doing new things like crawling and walking and such that it can mess up their nights. Do we just have to ride it out? Is this something that we need to fix now or it will continue? I would probably be able to handle this better if I didn’t have to drag myself out of bed and haul off to work the next day. I don’t know, sleep deprivation just seems easier to handle while still in your p.j.s at home than in real clothes while sitting at a desk. I’m thinking maybe we shouldn’t go in there at all when he first wakes up, just let him put himself back to sleep? Maybe we’re waking him up too much by going in? But he’ll just start freaking out if we don’t go in, and I’m not down with CIO, just doesn’t seem to work anyways. Sorry, this is horribly long and whiny, but I just don’t know what to do. I guess there may be nothing to do until he grows out of this phase. Ugh.

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Submitted by zoeii on Tue, 04/15/2008 - 8:38pm.

-make bedtime later
-make sure babe has had lots of activity during the day, go
outside, let babe play, get into stuff, use up energy
-put lavender in the bath water
-look at babe's diet, is there enough protein at suppertime?

good luck to you, i personally wake up often in the middle of the night for no apparant reason while baby and dh snooze...and i still nurse my 10month old a few times a night...i definately need more sleep.
it's frustating to be woken up though!
**Breathe**

Submitted by KJ on Tue, 04/15/2008 - 7:00pm.

It is going to get better! Margot just went through this - she's 13 months now, so i think it was right around the same time. I find these bumps on the road stop right as you teeter on the edge of sanity. I was so sleep deprived and pissy and ready to smother my poor girl, her sister, and my husband, who nonchalantly slept through her 3 hour middle of the night play sessions.

We co-sleep, so we just rode it out and I went to bed scandalously early for a while, just to get some rest.

good luck mama!!!

Submitted by bleu7102 on Tue, 04/15/2008 - 7:20pm.

But I don't wanna!!! Oh, okay, fine, ride it out it is. I do have to give it to DH, though. He does as much as he can really. He only gets about 5 hours of sleep as it before work, so he takes up a lot of slack on the weekends.
Thanks for letting me know there's light at the end of the tunnel. I guess it's something we all have to go through at some point.

BleuRoo Handcrafted Sweetness
http://bleuroo.etsy.com

Submitted by sweetdumpling on Tue, 04/15/2008 - 6:35pm.

trust me, i'll be there soon enough!!
i remember with pait around this age that i was complaining about the same kind of thing. it seemed like she should be able to sleep, but didnt. we rode it out. we've never done the CIO thing, its just not for me. it sucks, i dont deny that. and i was lucky to be home (although it wasnt easy being sleep deprived at all). I'd say that it's maybe just because he's developing again. you might not even notice. its sometimes a mental growth thing. but he needs you there. i'd maybe just not stimulate him. i'm not there, so i dont really know. but maybe just talking and singing to him. let him know (it might sound crazy) but that it's time for him to sleep. the sun is sleeping, we sleep too.....stuff like that).
we also had her in and out of our bed. and its possible that around then she decided that she didnt like her crib anymore. she wouldnt be as wakeful in bed with us. when she did wake (to the point of bothering us) we'd put her on the floor with some toys and not interact with her.

you'll figure it out, and it'll pass. but ya, i know it sucks!!

Submitted by bleu7102 on Tue, 04/15/2008 - 7:17pm.

Thanks mama. One of the few things I haven't tried is starting him out in bed with us. We just downgraded to a twin bed (we'll be getting a queen after we move), so I'm not sure how feasible that is right now, but I think tonight I'll put his bassinet/pack n play right by the bed. Maybe being right next to us and hearing us and me being able to comfort him immediately will make a difference.

Good luck with your birth, I see it's so very close!!

BleuRoo Handcrafted Sweetness
http://bleuroo.etsy.com

Submitted by sweetdumpling on Tue, 04/15/2008 - 7:27pm.

we ended up taking the crib down after that. she's been in her own "big bed" since about a year old. it still gave her the independance of her own bed during the day for naps and then our bed at night. she's still in our bed at night. she goes to bed in her own bed and then comes into ours anywhere from 1 - 5am. we have a king, so we're lucky that way. and - as you can see - there is another one coming. i'm a bit weary about fitting 4 of us in there.

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