p-town - big thanks, i hope you read this in 5 years when i'm calling you up to join my crew in hollywood. i'm promsing you a spot on my team, and you've got it. thank you for bailing me out today!

hello ladies - here we go!

1. bank of fucked up america - hit me so hard with 7 $35 overdraft fees! motherfuckers! i got them to clean up ONE of them. this sent me into a tailspin.

2. i purchased my ticket to san francisco last night! it was expensive, but worth it. i had just enough money for food until friday, and then it was wiped out completely.

3. i stare at my cd's, it's all i have left! the kids need stuff, i need to get it. i ask my friend for help, she comes through. it was so hard for me to ask, i almost didn't. my therapist has said don't give everything up! the cd's, the whatever. the universe will hear that you're desperate! i love mary j blige, mariah carey, kathleen hanna. these women inspire me to keep going, but i will sell it ALL if i have to, i've done it before. my friend cares about my family and knows what i'm up against and she sees what i'm trying to pull off here.

4. she is 22, and i'm 35. i'm grateful that she has been in my corner for a year and 1/2 now. we've swapped late night stories, and she's seen my transformation. she is gold.

5. it's amazing what people can do for you, when you ask. but you need to ask! if you don't, nobody can help you.

6. thank you paula.

7. jerome, from renton washington - you'll never read this, but it's worth posting about! he asks me: "so, you're asian, petite, attractive, so why are you on eharmony? be honest".

thank you for the compliment jerome!

how can i answer this question? okay jerome, have you seen the previews for the new indiana jones movie? they brought marion back! (i can't even say karen allen, because it will only confuse him further!). well she's: hot, sexy, tough, the ultimate side kick, a badass, beautiful, the kind of woman that will have your back, right? this is me. this is what a masculine woman is. that didn't answer your question did it?

8. eharmony - oh why?!! the men have been okay, i've been upfront about who and what i am. it's such a mixed bag isn't it? i hope that i meet someone nice!

9. gearing up for more major changes.

10. i responded to a p/t cleaning position that i will take, maybe 20 hours a week. it's going to be tough, but we need it. wish me luck! my full time job hasn't paid enough in months, i need to supplement until i find the golden ticket!

11. burn it to the ground. when all else fails, light the fuse. get ready with the pail of water, throw it onto the flames at the last minute. don't blame yourself when you have to do this, sometimes, setting things on fire is the best thing you can do!

hearts and hopes,

dc