what we did:

We held two parties, one for adults and another for kids. At the adult party we had some finger food, some wine and a bunch of presents. As luck would have it, all our families asked what he wanted. We requested beach toys and summer clothes from one set of grandparents, a kid's digital camera from another and lego from the last. These were things I knew would get a lot of use, withstand the abuse of a spirited kid, and encourage his imagination. Yup, they were new and they were plastic - but I am okay with it, they will last a long time and will blend right in with his second-hand toys seamlessly. They will very likely be passed down to his sister and then to other kids, especially the lego.

Other gifts included beach gear, wooden puzzles, wooden building toys, ceramic play dishes, more lego, more clothes, wooden trains and some plants.

Before his birthday we packed up some old toys and clothes, we donated some, we lent some to friends, we made room for the new stuff. I didn't worry much about what people brought, though next year I will ask for nothing to be paper wrapped - our friends know we're eco-freaky, so they are more mindful about their choices.

So, we learned a lot from this year and the next gifting holiday will go even more smoothly.

My big eco-goodie-bag plan was to put together awesome craft bags - loaded with bits and bobs from Urban Source - it is this magical place filled with odd reclaimed artifacts, in bulk. I was going to toss in a glue stick and some homemade play-dough, some "crayon cookies" (old crayon bits melted together in a mini-muffin tray) and organic fruit leather.

It didn't happen - but it is still a good idea. He actually only had one kid invited to his kid party, it was my fault - time just washed over me and plans fell apart... but I am glad. He had fun with his friend E, they did a lot, including planting his new flowers and beginning a bean-sprouting experiment (okay, the adults did all the work while the kids watched - but it was fun!). I'm really happy with how it turned out (and not only because I snuck a mom-date in), Sebastian had all the excitement of a special day, without being overwhelmed by people and presents, and I got a mom-date.

I don't have a point - just sharing my recent experiences for reference.

Have fun!!!

so long supermom

umm.. I forgot to add that on DS 3rd birthday we made soap and stamped wash rags for gift stuff
http://cooksewbitchy.blogspot.com/

I love your invite wording. Good stuff. I've been wanting to hit the thrift stores for more dress up stuff.

We went to a great 2 year old party a few months back, and they asked that everyone bring a small present for a gift exchange. That way, they didn't have to worry about party favors or filling their house with more unnecessary toys. Everyone was happy!

We've been making the rounds at parties this winter and it has become the norm for the invites to read "We ask that the only present you bring is your presence." And you know? My daughter didn't miss a beat. I just explained that her friends are an important part of our lives and her life and so we want them to celebrate her birthday with us. I guess it probably helps, too, that she's been to several other parties where the kids don't get gifts.

As all little ones know, dressing up is one of the best things about being a kid. This year for Paity's birthday, we are doing a dress-up theme for gifts. Anything goes - old lady's hats and shoes, purses, dresses, halloween costumes - anything! If your little ones have grown out of their dress up stuff, feel free to pass that along. Afterall, birthday parties are about celebrating the love of a child. And love is to be shared, not measured by money.

For our parties I usually say that no presents are required but that if folks wish to bring something to make it under 10 dollars and/or homemade. This makes it affordable for my "on a budget" friends and limits how much people show up with.
"I'm drowning and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils"
Dilbert comic strip

i totally share your intention of steering clear of plastic crap and yuck toys for our children, but short of stating 'no gifts please' or 'in lieu of gifts please make a donation to...", i think it's a bit tacky to specify precisely what kind of toys your guests should give your child as a birthday present on the invitation. my sister does this and it's ALwAYS an eye-roller, no matter how cleverly stated.

after our daughter's first birthday, when the crapfest was insane, we decided on "no gifts, please" parties. our family ignores that, of course, but usually asks specifically what she'd like, so i get to steer them. yet the plastic crap still creeps its way in. meh. i always say i'm going to donate that stuff to goodwill or whatever, but never seem to get around to it. so it goes!

how about: No gifts, Please. Paity is already blessed with many toys. If you would like to bring something, please donate to her college fund.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. - Chinese Proverb

When my DS turned 2 we did a train thing, and had everyone assigned a reasonably priced train, we bought the track. DS ended up with a kick-ass set of trains that are still played with everyday. You could always ask for homemade gifts? gift cards?
For eco- friendly goody bags, start with paper lunch sacks, that you can stamp. Inside ideas: fruit leather, you can get used board books at the thrift store and used small stuffed animals(washed of course). Pair up board books and stuffed animals so each bag has a theme? Also homemade cookies, a package of homemade playdough, just some ideas, hope this helps.
http://cooksewbitchy.blogspot.com/