My partner has 2 kids, 10 and 12, from a previous relationship. The mom never wanted formal child support/visitation agreements and s/o paid her cash, paid for camps, etc. It has always bugged me that they didn't have a formal arrangement. She has had some changes with her business and partnership, etc. and over a year ago initiated child support proceedings. S/o signed the paperwork and that's the last we'd heard of it until this Feb. He got a notice saying that he owes so much per month, no problem, and all of last year in back child support. Because she had filed, and while it sat on someone's desk for over a year he was apparently owing on those payments--although nobody bothered to tell him that. So he's paying her directly, with a piss poor papertrail, and the state is fingering him as a deadbeat although we never got any paperwork at all on it. So we kind of shrugged our shoulders and said whatever, it's not worth fighting, we'll pay it off in payments over time. Sent off the first official payment on time and then! got a letter saying they'll be garnishing his wages (he's self employed, so not really, but still...) and putting a LIEN on him. It will affect his credit and ability to get gov't. contract jobs, among other things.
I'm blown away. I've always wanted this formal agreement, for everyone's sake, but this just seems so unfair. There is no way to lift the lien until it is paid in full--or unless bio-mom waives it. Maybe she will. But would you? Why should you? We could take it to court and it could be a big mess for everyone. We're all self employed. She's got some shady dealings under the table, I think. I have my own earnings, and children, and don't want them looking at that, and she's mostly supported by her female partner.
Ack!
Any advice?