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Child support wtfSubmitted by mnemosyne on Thu, 04/03/2008 - 8:07pm.
My partner has 2 kids, 10 and 12, from a previous relationship. The mom never wanted formal child support/visitation agreements and s/o paid her cash, paid for camps, etc. It has always bugged me that they didn't have a formal arrangement. She has had some changes with her business and partnership, etc. and over a year ago initiated child support proceedings. S/o signed the paperwork and that's the last we'd heard of it until this Feb. He got a notice saying that he owes so much per month, no problem, and all of last year in back child support. Because she had filed, and while it sat on someone's desk for over a year he was apparently owing on those payments--although nobody bothered to tell him that. So he's paying her directly, with a piss poor papertrail, and the state is fingering him as a deadbeat although we never got any paperwork at all on it. So we kind of shrugged our shoulders and said whatever, it's not worth fighting, we'll pay it off in payments over time. Sent off the first official payment on time and then! got a letter saying they'll be garnishing his wages (he's self employed, so not really, but still...) and putting a LIEN on him. It will affect his credit and ability to get gov't. contract jobs, among other things. Actually... in child support cases I think it's the burden of the person who owes support to prove payments prior to an official agreement. Otherwise anyone could pull out specific dates and amounts out of their ass and the recipient of support would be sh*t out of luck because how are you supposed to prove that you DIDN'T get a payment? this is how this shit tends to go down. he needs to pay it in full or get it waived in order to keep working. in other words, her not waiving hurts his ability to to earn enough to support the kids. seems to me that although you're all self employed and probably would be put out by IRS scrutiny, it's still in your best interest to go to her and tell her that she needs to waive the back support. and it also seems to me that she has the most to lose in that respect so she might go along with it. do y'all have attorneys? can you ask your lawyer if it's possible for her to waive support, and draw up a contract for what he owes, so it's just between you two? i knoe you're not saying he actually owes anything, just thinking pragmatically, and the ex may feel differently, kwim? but he can't earn anything unless it gets squared away. no earnings = no support. |
I realize there is not a solid paper trail, but I would still come up with an informal "itemized receipt" of known payments he has made and expenses incurred over the past year and request formally that that amount be deducted from the total owed. See if there's a way that he can request that the child support agreement be amended rather than legally challenged: ie: "I formally agree that it is fair to pay so much a month and agree to the backdated amount, therefore please credit x amount which has already been paid to biomom on these approximate dates for these approximate amounts, as well as x,y,z expenses which were paid by biodad."
I would think if it is out in those terms biomom will be obligated to prove she did not receive those payments, that is if you give specifics, the burden of proof will be on her to claim you are lying.
I have no idea what your actual legal status is with this, but if her finances are as shady as you suspect, she will likely not want to have to open herself up to financial scrutiny, and will be willing to be a bit more fair.
Even if there is nothing you can do, I would look into filing some sort of document in protest of the lien, or at least a letter of explanation on your credit record explaining that x amount was paid in child support but not credited to the amount owed. Same as if there were any other other unfair inaccuracy on a credit. Can't hurt, I imagine.