I do a load of laundry every day. Sometimes two. It never ends. Really.

Remember when I told you Bella’s skin cleared up? Well, that was true for about 8 days. She is not as itchy as she has been in the past, the antihistamines are working - a little - but she is also not 100%. And going back to my strict diet has proven to be as difficult as the first time around. Only, this time I know I can do it. Today is a new day.

Despite Bella’s itching, she is always happy and playful. There is that to be thankful for. Seriously.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a mama/sister-friend and her son. Then we trekked over to her place to let our boys play together. Play dates are filled with interrupted conversations, a few disputes between kids, and a sense of comradeship. I find I am happiest when I have a couple days a week out of the house. With Friends. Duh.

I have decided that I can’t read blogs written by mommas who are not completely open about their mothering life. This means, for me, I need to read about the difficulties of mothering. It lets me know I am not alone.

It does me no good to read about how lovely your life with children [ALWAYS] is. It does me no good to read about all the beautiful things you create with your children.

Maybe when my kids are older I will go back to those blogs. I can’t read about the modern day June Clever and feel good about my own mothering. Those expectations (ie: yes, YOU TOO can be creative if only you WANT to be - look how agreeable everything is! Even when they're not!), are as emotionally restricting and damaging as those expectations placed on women in the days past. I have to reject it.

Good on you if you have the self esteem to handle reading about how easy mothering is for someone else. You are a stronger woman than I.

Give me the trench-stories alongside the beauty. Please. If you know of any blogs like this, let me know. I used to only want to read blogs by moms who parented "like" I do. I also used to think I would be happiest if I only spent time with women who have the same ideologies about parenting as I do. It has occurred to me that I am a better person when challenged. I am a better person because I am also friends with women who are completely different than I am.

One of my main struggles in life is feeling righteous about ideas and beliefs I hold. Knowing a variety of personalities helps keep me grounded. This has apparently carried over to what I expose myself to literature-wise/blog-wise. Go figure.