It's all starting to sink in....
9 whole days now since I left. I'm apartment hunting. My wonderful boss is gathering shit for an apartment.. I'm praying for an IKEA gift card cause I ain't got jack and squat for nuthin. I decided that I'm only taking my personal items, clothes, half the boys things, my crafty shit, perhaps my kitty if I can ever scrape up the 300 bucks for the pet deposit. In the mean time I'm trying to deal with zero rental history and trashed credit. blargh. I'm feeling rather lonely tonight. Just rough and raw.
I guess I'm not missing my home, house whatever but I miss my own room, my kitties, the chickens even, and I hate living at my mom's house.
I'm not a bit sad that I left or regretting it at all but god damn it I feel guilty for my boys.. I took their daddy away from them.. How do I handle that?
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I promise. I have been in your place, except that I didn't have my parents to live at until I found a place, so you are doing well. This is the hardest part, but in a few years you will look back to right now and say "damn, that sucked but I am so much happier now..." That guilt of what you did to your kids will fade, believe it or not - but it might end up being the hardest part. Just remember: kids are way more adaptable then we are. You are just going to have to forgive yourself at some point. (I know first hand that that is easier said than done.)
I am so sorry you are going through this. I also left and only took my personal belongings and some stuff for the kids, so I get it. You will be fine - you are strong enough to do what you need to do to be happy... and to make your children happy.
Take care! Feel free to PM if you want...
Meesh
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I don't know what to say, but I'm willing you to get through this and find the peace of mind that you need.
It must be for the best, or you wouldn't have done it right?
You did not take daddy away, you and daddy had a toxic relationship that would not be good for them, either.
Sunflower the unflower
Mom's Tinfoil Hat
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Sunflower the unflower
you were the stay at home mom and he worked alot and then came home and made you the primary caregiver- hows it really gonna be that diffrent? its not like you guys are living in diffrent cities even. Maybe M will be more preoactive with his boys because his time won't be taken for granted and he will wanna be more active, involved and fun during his visitations. If not fuck him. As far as stuff goes Craigslist is awesome! I am getting a free brand new futon and a hamper as a matter of fact today. You will find everything that you need. J and I had to get a private landlord to rent to us because of our credit and being from Detroit, Craigslist once again. And lie. Everybody does when they have to. Hell, I can be your last landlord...you can do it. You know you can. And youre so young and so is M, who knows this might be temporary, or if not you could be off to a much happier life. You have a good attitude and you love your kids, have supportive friends and family and have marketable skills- the world is your oyster!
ditto on the rental history here (if you wanna say you lived in Oakland).
As far as taking only a fwe things, no offense, but fuck that shit. YOU made that house a home, YOU have a right to be compensated in some way, and it's not noble to give up things that you like/love. You're leaving the man because he's a shit, not to hurt him or the boys. Besides, trust me on this, he won't take care of sentimental items, and he'll trash all the nice things you leave behind. Or he'll sell them. Or he'll simply throw them away when he moves again, which he will, this being a mobile society.
I'd say, grab the good stuff. It's going to be tough economically for you for a while (and child support is NOT something you can ever depend on, you have to think of it as icing on the cake if you get it), so you might as well have as good a start as possible.
Again, a friendly reminder, you are leaving him because he's a shit. Get whatever you feel he owes you, because he's not likely to be less of a shit to you down the road.
All little girls should be told they're pretty--even if they aren't.
--Marilyn Monroe
All little girls should be told they're pretty--even if they aren't.
--Marilyn Monroe
yeah!!! Take the stuff. He makes loot, hes not going to need all that stuff and he has the means to replace it. what the hell was I thinking? Plus hes a guy, they are fine with milk crates paper plates and sleeping bags.
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I did take things that have meaning for me and left the rest. 'll rebuild better than before. I don't want any of that other shit. Believe me. I "Kids are made of poop, elastic, and run on nuclear batteries..." -My friend Drew