Night parenting: A frustated rant turned real-time narrative.
S is going to be one in a few days (happy dance) but, BUT, I don't think I can handle the all night boob fest co-sleeping thing anymore. She sleeps on more then half of our queen size bed. She wakes up so easily and the biting on the nipple in her sleep is getting ridiculous now that she has 6 brand new sharp teeth. All I want in the world right now is for her to go sleep in the crib we bought her months and months ago set up next to the bed. Whenever she's put in the crib she screams and holds on to the rail and jumps up and down but she's tired so her balance isn't as good so she falls and hits her head on the bars and it makes her cry even harder. I've gotten so frustrated that i've just left her in her crib to see if she'd cry it out. Nope. I went back in after I was reduced to tears from guilt and shame and pity. I can't even just wean her from night feedings. Tonight, I tried to just give her a binky when she woke up but she'd just flail and whimper and root and grab and hit and scratch.
I decide to start trying to night-wean her. just with binky and cuddles.
I'm PMSing pretty bad. SO was opening and closing the baby gates to his office right outside the bedroom door and every click would wake the -almost- sleeping baby. This would begin the flailing and the kicking and so forth. After a few cycles of that I got up to go tell SO to stop making noise, S woke up and started yelling as soon as I opened the door. So in my frustration, I yelled at SO and slammed the door as I went back into the beast's lair. (I'm not sure if i'm refering to myself or 
Miraculously, S detached from the boob (I had given in by this time) and turned over on her own and did something that looked like sleep. I got up, tip toed to the door, opened it and S revealed that she was not sleeping at all! I continued to walk out, handed SO a binky and told him I couldn't take it anymore. He kind of looked at me and started to the lair. I picked up a pack of cigarettes, grabbed one and thew the rest of the pack down with such force and anger and frustration I'd somehow completely severed half the cig I was holding. I go outside and sit in the quiet redwoods. Puff, puff, puff....
And now I am here, writing it out. SO is still in the lair but there isn't any sound. I had thought briefly about going in there, but quickly decided against it.
SO came out of the lair. Tip some baby T*lenol in mid-scream? You must imagine me asking this with a darkly sarcastic tone.
No, no. She just kind of flailed a bit, refused her binky and flopped over and fell asleep.
Then he said the words every mother wants to hear:
"I think daddy needs to start going in to soothe her after you put her to bed."
And the angels sing.
Sarcastically.
What will happen later tonight when I go to bed? My shirt will be pulled up and I'll be banished to a tight corner of my bed.
Help me, mamas. Has this happened to you? How do you go about getting a one year old to sleep in a crib?
I'm sorry for the bitchy narrative above. I walked away for a bit, calmed down. But it's one of those hair-pulling nights, you know?
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"Help me, mamas. Has this happened to you? How do you go about getting a one year old to sleep in a crib?"
I don't know, but if you find out please tell me too!
My DD is almost 10 mos and I can get her to sleep in her crib only for the first part of each night, and then only if she's soundly asleep when I put her down. By 2 or 3 am she is up and then must be with me and my breasts until morning. She has 2 teeth, both of which are sharp, and she bites at the end of each feeding. I'm with you on the frustration. No answers, just support!!
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
in the early life of a mama. I was there just a short time ago. Mine is almost three and I remember clearly reading about 8 or 9 months and just not being able to deal with the nighttime nursing anymore. I too was yelling at dh, I was resentful to the wee one and I kept thinking, for what?
What I dediced to do was finally put him in that crib that we had bought months and months ago. I gave him water in a sippy cup instead of the binky. I don't know what's better...he still HAS to have water in a sippy cup to go to sleep and don't even get me started about nighttime potty training!
Anyway...you just have to do what's right for YOU.
It took me about a week to get him used to his crib. I was a lot happier after that. I got some well-deserved time to myself at night...
Walking around an
early spring garden-
going nowhere.
-Kyoshi
Holy shit. This same thing is happening to me and mine is 17 mos now. My son usually nurses and then my partner and him go into the bedroom, close the door, turn on a dim lamp and Sean reads from a "big book"(one without pictures). Currently they're reading a Terry Pratchett book. It's totally wonderful to have that space. It makes the constant night nursing a little easier to deal with and I think it helps that Ro's not falling asleep with the boob at the beginning. We also have the crib right next to the bed. It kind of works, but I get so sick of getting up to nurse, that I just stick him in bed, but he wakes pretty easily too. I feel really guilty when I'm pissed off at him for waking me a billion times a night. "Just shutup!". Yeah, my nightly mantra sometimes. I feel, also, like I should nightwean, but I've been told that while teething, it will just be harder on the kid. Hell! I don't think it really matters and I'm about to shove some books up some authors asses. I hate the books, btw. They're just there to make you feel worse. Well, some of them anyway.
But, on the upside, he slept through the night the other night. He didn't do it before or since, but he did it once. That's hope right there. I didn't sleep cuz I don't know how anymore, but just seeing his face sleep through six hours is freaking amazing.
It will happen. We just have to hang in there. It does make me wish I still smoked sometimes. I'll just think of you and the redwoods.
"Religion is for people who are afraid of hell. Spirituality is for
people who've been to
hell."--quoted by Ken Bruen (Irish crime novelist)
"Religion is for people who are afraid of hell. Spirituality is for
people who've been to
hell."--quoted by Ken Bruen (Irish crime novelist)
We stopped night-nursing around 15 months (give or take) - I was seriously losing my mind and needed my space to SLEEP, so for about three weeks I slept on the couch while my husband took care of Sebastian in bed. When I went back to bed I wore a bra and tight shirts - anything to deter him long enough to just fall asleep again. It was long and it was difficult and it took a lot of patience and self-control (nights spent smoking on my balcony while trying to ignore the very loud cries for mamamamamamamamamammamamama nearly broke me more than once). But then, it was over and now Sebastian even sleeps in his own bed and everything.
PS. check craigslist for a king-size bed, so worth it even though in our current apartment it has meant coming up with elaborate systems for bedroom storage. Kids take up as much space as an adult (if not more).
what's so? significant other? if so, they should do the night weaning. you should feed her at bedtime, tell her your breasts are going to sleep and if you need to, sleep in another room or another house (just be back in the morning to feed her again), and leave so to deal with her. she should accept cuddles and pacifier from someone without milk more than from you. does that sound too harsh? but weaning from both your bed and the nursing seems like a lot at one time - can you do one first and then the other? good luck!
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