anti-racist mamas: needing some resources or something.
I need some help here. my partner comes from a pretty fractured family. His mom is mohawk, adopted into a white family and herself 'passes' as white intentionally. His father is metis, irish and rom, but is not interested in talking about anything but the irish side. Our relationship with them is tenuous so I don't feel comfortable talking to them about this and either does mr sauce. Mr sauce identifies as 'a mix' but doesn't go into it much more than that. I plan to make a family tree for my kids, so they can see where they come from/what their back round is but I don't know how to broach the paternal grandmother's family or even how to get the information of who her parents are (she has searched out her biological mother but still doesn't know who her father is). so that is one issue and the other is that my son and I have started having conversations about race and i feel like I am missing a lot of tools in this area. I read anti-racist parent daily, but I am still floundering. My son is right now struggling with "where are the indians? do they still live here" and has a hard time seeing anishnabe people in contemporary roles/dress even though we attend events at our local Native Friendship Center and mr sauce works with multiple Native organizations and often brings sauce jr to work with him.
any thoughts are appreciated.
* I'm all fight and no flight *
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On my father's side of the family, there are yearly reunions and the whole nine. My grandmother and her cousin actually researched the census data to come up with an extensive family tree. On my mom's side, it's touchy. Growing up, the older folks would tell versions of a few stories and leave a lot out. There were also some who "passed" for white and/or black (when I suspect that they were actually black/white or mediterranean) so I think there's a lot of guilt and shame that no one wants to address either.
So my solution has been to relay to my kids as much of what I know to be fact. Then I've also tried to tie in how our family makeup reflects the broader history of the US. So ultimately, although it's frustratiing not to know all of the facts, I'm hoping the kids at least feel grounded in the bigger picture.
"To have a vibrant future we must invest in our children.
The best way to ensure children are well cared for is to support their mothers." --MomsRising.org
"To have a vibrant future we must invest in our children.
The best way to ensure children are well cared for is to support their mothers." --MomsRising.org
http://www.native-languages.org/children-books.htm
i came across that list of childrens books, but i can't think of anything to specifically address genocide and assimilation for a wee one, ya know? my own introduction to those concepts at around 6 or 7 seriously sucked, so i wouldn't recommend actually describing the whole genocide thing in too much detail too early, but then what is a good age to hear about that? also, though, it strikes me that sauce, jr. has already formed a concept of "indian" that doesn't include the actual native people in his life and family. enculturation is scary stuff. i'm stumped. i'm wrestling with this stuff myself, though, so i can empathize, for what that's worth. lucy pinball and i were discussing the possibility of a regular blog around these issues. would that be helpful, do you think?
"if i pass for other than what i am, do you feel safer?" ~ lani ka'ahumanu
dragon knows dragon
"if i pass for other than what i am, do you feel safer?" ~ lani ka'ahumanu
dragon knows dragon
and you hadn't posted on my recent blog on a related topic, though you may have seen it, so i'll add the url here 'cuz it has some useful, related resources:
http://www.hipmama.com/node/34437
and here's a list of kids books that i found helpful:
http://www.cynthialeitichsmith.com/lit_resources/diversity/multiracial/m...
and another mama's site on these issues {she's a columnist for ARP, too}:
http://www.multiracialsky.com/
and some more related kids books recommended by theorising:
rainbow joe and me
just like josh gibson
beautiful warrior
the pirate queen
violet's music
thunder rose
amazing grace
abc a family alphabet book
123 a family counting book
"if i pass for other than what i am, do you feel safer?" ~ lani ka'ahumanu
dragon knows dragon
Bill of Rights for People of Mixed Heritage
I HAVE THE RIGHT...
Not to justify my existence in this world.
Not to keep the races separate within me.
Not to justify my ethnic legitimacy.
Not to be responsible for people’s discomfort with my physical or ethnic ambiguity.
I HAVE THE RIGHT...
To identify myself differently than strangers expect me to identify.
To identify myself differently than how my parents identify me.
To identify myself differently than my brothers and sisters.
To identify myself differently in different situations.
I HAVE THE RIGHT...
To create a vocabulary to communicate about being multiracial or multiethnic.
To change my identity over my lifetime--and more than once.
To have loyalties and identification with more than one group of people.
To freely choose whom I befriend and love.
© Maria P. P. Root, PhD, 1993, 1994
"if i pass for other than what i am, do you feel safer?" ~ lani ka'ahumanu
dragon knows dragon
and i can understand the challenge of taking it all on yourself while trying not to be the "white lady telling everyone what to do and how to identify". do you tell sauce, jr. family stories yet? perhaps ancestry information could be incorporated? and/or maybe also referenced when reading some of the books on the booklists? so, it'd be more creating an informed context instead of feeling dictatorial? just thoughts. i'm stumbling and fumbling along here, too.
you're welcome for the resources, and here's hoping we can do the whole regular blog thing together.
"if i pass for other than what i am, do you feel safer?" ~ lani ka'ahumanu
dragon knows dragon
this is what upsets me the most. it is hard also because none of the native people in his family want to talk about it in a positive light, except his dad who just doesn't 'talk' a lot about anything. I have a hard time taking the whole topic on because I end up feeling like the white lady telling everyone what to do and how to identify.
Oh Maude, do I relate to this. So much. I know so much more about my Scottish roots than I do about my Cree ones, simply because my maternal side of the family discusses it more, goes to visit Scotland, etc and my paternal side doesn't like to talk about their past.
Robert Munsch has some books featuring aboriginal children, where the focus isn't all about their traditions or anything but adventures that happen to them. We have Ribbon Rescue and I know Smelly Socks also features an aboriginal little girl but I haven't read it yet. You can also download him reading his stories from his site if E likes listening to books on tape.
has been running a series on the current called Mixed Blessings - link to the podcasts here. You might find it interesting and helpful - I have heard snippets of it in the car and have been meaning to download the series.
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"also, though, it strikes me that sauce, jr. has already formed a concept of "indian" that doesn't include the actual native people in his life and family"
this is what upsets me the most. it is hard also because none of the native people in his family want to talk about it in a positive light, except his dad who just doesn't 'talk' a lot about anything. I have a hard time taking the whole topic on because I end up feeling like the white lady telling everyone what to do and how to identify.
thanks for all the resources mamaneen and yes a regular blog would be helpful i think.
* I'm all fight and no flight *