PEDOPHILIA IS AGAINST THE FUCKING LAW.

a restraining order is the very least that should be done here.

Something that might be helpful right now could be to tell your story--how you got away. I'm down to tell mine. Wanna start a different thread, so we're not derailing this one? Maybe other moms who've escaped abusers would like to share.

it is too much for me to even understand this situation that you are in sopiesworld, thats why i havent posted anything.ths is a situation that requires your mama instincts more than anything else.
but dragon chic, i really agree with what you have said here.

you called a rape crisis line, you are getting sophie checked out, you are talking to a DA official. you are not doing nothing. i still think reporting is the best course of action for the reasons i already stated but you have to be the one who comes to terms with that and assesses the risks.

judging and coming down on you is pure cowardice. please remember that when you look for support, you can get it, but you will also get noise. like mercury says, this world is full of malevolent people just waiting for their chance to hurt people. HM is no exception. i hope you can look past the noise and understand that sometimes what you post about is too close to our own experience not to priject our own shit onto you. what you are reading here is not about you.

"All persons, whether living or dead, are entirely coincidental." Kurt Vonnegut

That was an empowering step you took. Well thought out.

this sounds like a good course of action. good luck to you, and major vibes

***the United States is one of only four out of 168 countries studied to not have some form of paid family leave for new moms. We join Swaziland, Papua New Guinea, and Lesotho in not having that policy in place. ***

and i hope that you get a really good advocate from the DA.

i am sending you vibes. i just saw this thread and my heart is in my throat for you and your girl. vibes, sophiesworld. you are strong enough to do this.

your little girl is so precious and she deserves, like all children, a real chance in this world. I am sending vibes for you too because once your pain and confusion clears you have a chance at a great life, a happy life. You just have to realize you don't have to be this man's victim anymore.

I understand your fear of going to the police based on what happened to you, but consider that the laws have changed and public perception of sexual assault on children have changed. Same with stalking. Back when I was going through this there were no stalking laws! So please take advantage of the help that is now available to people in your situation. Try not to put your experience on Sophie...the cops didn't help you then, but that doesn't mean they won't help Sophie now. If nothing else take advantage of the stalking laws. Tell him not to call you again. If he does, that's stalking. He doesn't have the right to repeatedly call you. That's stalking. along with all the other crap he has done.

I am vibing you to read over all your posts about this man. I am vibing you to see, to really see how dire this situation is, and how bad it was from the start, and how you seem to stay stuck in crisis mode. I am vibingfor you and SO to choose to break from victimhood and make a life with your daughter free from abuse, craziness, and drama.
You can do it!

Family Footprint | Beyond Battered
She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
~Proverbs 31

was very well put.

Check out my daily photo journal:
http://ocim.livejournal.com/

Vibes! I was just trying to let you know that I understand the fear that you have surrounding your FIL but that I still think the best course of action is to report him, even if it doesn't seem so right now. You may regret it if you don't. That being said, I wish you luck and safety in whatever you decide to do.

I am sorry you have to go through this HUGS
I am swisterland...switzerland? fuck it, I am swiss.

I am glad you are looking into it. Protect your family first! The world of abuse is definitely not black and white, report or not. When someone is that bent you need to make sure you and your child are safe first without assuming the system is going to be a Kevlar blanket.
You still need to see if you have enough of a case to accomplish something. You might need to take up the offer to get out of town at some point and take it if you need it!
You have my support!

We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.~K.V.

i understand your fear. this guy isn't a garden variety perv, he is dangerous. totally valid. vibes for you.

"All persons, whether living or dead, are entirely coincidental." Kurt Vonnegut

You wrote that you don't want anyone hurt by him, as if what you do or don't do has any impact on his crazy thinking and actions. Consider that he has already hurt someone: YOU. and you wouldn't do anything about it for the longest time, but then it kept getting worse and worse. Your not doing anything about didn't stop him from continuing to hurt you, did it?

Consider he has already hurt someone else: your BABY. You wrote that there was semen on her leg after he was watching her. Which means he either ejaculated directly on her or wiped his semen on her. This is sexual assault. This man sexually abused your baby. You felt concerned enough to check her for physical damage, but please understand that just ejaculating on her or wiping on her is abuse enough.

Nothing you have done so far has stopped him from aggressing on you and your baby. So stop thinking that if you don't tell the police that will stop him, because it won't. You have so many excuses to not take action to protect yourself and Sophie, why you can't change your number, go to the police, or move to safety. You have someone offering to pay for a room for ya'll and you don't want to do it because you won't have your 'things'? Are you kidding me? I know you are serious because all the excuses you wrote are typical of people who feel they are helpless and that they are victims.

You don't have to be a victim, there are so many resources available to you for help. Go to the police and report this assault on your baby.

Family Footprint | Beyond Battered
She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
~Proverbs 31

you're not considering his feelings, but your own safety with respect to how you feel he may react to being reported. i would be thinking the same things. but i think i would still do it, to be perfectly honest. first of all, with no report, whatever actions he tries to take with you from this point forward won't be part of a pattern as far as the law is concerned. you need documentation of his shit to establish the pattern, which will give you the really strict restraining orders. there are different levels of restraining orders, as you may know. you can forbid him years from now, from going within X feet from sophie's school, her child care center, your side of her family, etc. but you can't do that without establishing his pattern in writing. he may still act out, but the police can take stronger action against him if he does, and actually protect you.

i completely understand your trepidation, i think it comes down to how much confidence you have in the system. what you have on your side is the public furor regarding pedophilia these days. they take that shit so seriously. i hope you decide to go that route, because unless you are willing to completely drop out of your life (a la witness protection, with name changes and everything, no contact with friends or family etc) this is your best bet at protection from him. remember, you can't make a mentally ill person accept treatment for his illness. you can't, that is, unless this person's illness makes them act out in a way that harms people. and in this case it has. it's very possible that he will be placed in a mandatory 30-day hold in psychiatric care, pending the outcome of the criminal case. if he gets treatment, he is less likely to act out against you. so there is that, and the fact that you will only be able to take legal action against him if you report this. if he escalates and starts doing progressively more menacing or weird shit, and you start reporting it then, your credibility can be called into question when you bring up the semen on the baby. i guarantee you if you don't report this now and he escalates (and i totally think he will, whether you report him or not) a judge will look back at you and say "your daughter was molested and you didn't report it?" they may not believe you. and i'm sure your mom's dog is great, but it is no comparison to establishing a paper trail of his dangerous behavior and taking action against him. besides, isn't he crazy enough to just kill the dog?

peace, and i really, really, really think you should report.

"All persons, whether living or dead, are entirely coincidental." Kurt Vonnegut

Semen on your daughters leg? SEMEN ON YOUR DD's LEG!

I'm in total shock. Call the damn cop. Fuck this. Fuck him.

I'm going to say something really weird. Are you a real person? Is this just trolling weird shit. Can anyone possible write that their kid had semen on their leg and they are *toying* with the fucking idea of turning him in?
You come on here post after post writing about this man's abuses and now, he finally has crossed the most un-fucking believable line in the world and you're toying with the idea.

If you can't do it, your baby's daddy needs to grow some fucking balls. This thread makes me sick and I'm sorry I even signed on.

I hope this is clear enough and I don't need anyone responding with telling me I don't understand how to give Fuck damn VIBES.

I only hope you are a troll and your just *toying* with my fucking brain this am.

While you and SO are toying with the idea of calling the cops, your child has been sexually abused. Your baby! She is just a baby! Why would you even have to think twice about calling the police???

Listen. Sometimes when people have experienced abuse as a child, be it emotional, physical, sexual, they subconsciously try to repeat the situation as an adult in order to make sense of what happened to them or to try to control what happened to them. Some victims of childhood abuse then becomes predators, some just keep finding themselves being abused. It's no leap to see that you and you SO, both of whom experienced abuse as children, fall in the latter category. That is probably why you both had such a hard time seeing how crazy his father is and how/why you needed to get out of that living situation.

but consider that while you work out your issues, your daughter has already been abused. She does not deserve to go through what you did and she deserves to be protected and defended! Unless you are lying to us to get attention, if you really think that he gunked on her leg or jacked off around or on her then you NEED TO CALL THE POLICE. This is a crime and your daughter needs to be protected. Stop all the bullshit, really. Do what you need to do to protect yourself and your child. Go and file a restraining order. You don't need proof, what he has done before this is enough to qualify for a restraining order.

and you and your SO get some help as soon as possible. You two need mental help, therapy, or you will just keep finding yourselves in similar situations with other people even if you handle this situation with his dad. The world is filled with people who want nothing more than to abuse, use, manipulate, control, and harm others. You can make a choice to no longer be a person who seeks out abuse. You don't have to willingly put yourself in harm's way. You don't deserve to be abused. You can stop the tape playing in your head that says you have to be hurt and abused by someone. and you can make a choice right now to never have this tape put in Sophie's head. Do the right thing and call the police!

Family Footprint | Beyond Battered
She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
~Proverbs 31