love

I don't think it's the same...you love your son, and that doesn't mean you need to love the idea of having another kid who has the same issues (or whatever you want to call it). I had my son 3 months early and managed to die briefly, my son was in the hospital for months and had brain surgery and has some physical problems as a result of brain damage, though mild but I wouldn't want to do that again. It isn't 100%, but it's at least 50% likely according my my doctors that I would have the same scenario, though it may be more treatable (or less) and have the same, better or worse outcome...so to me it isn't the same thing. I love my son, I love who he is and how he is and think that if things had been different for me (been able to stay pregnant and alive) then he would be "fine" and that he would be different and I love who he is now and I wish that he wasn't physically affected because it would be easier for him (I think). So I don't want him another way really because I wouldn't have him as who he is now, but I don't want to ever die from pregnancy, have a very premature baby, have another kid with brain damage and so on. So maybe it seems like you are renouncing him, but it isn't nescessarily so. Maybe one of something fabulous and sure is enough. Really it's like having a husband (using this relationship as an example since it is a part of my life, not that anyone should or shouldn't have a husband) - I love him, but I don't want another.

How about that you love him so much that you plan on focusing on him as an only child?

We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.~K.V.