damn, I knew I needed some more wifely tips!
I know this has been posted before but it's a good one.

"Macaroni - let me finish! - salad."
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"There are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice." -Ayaan Hirsi Ali
"Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity."
Do the rules work in reverse?
Ha ha.
I vote yes!! 

· Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for her return. This is a way of letting her know that you have been thinking about her and are concerned about her needs. Most women are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially her favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
· Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when she arrives. Touch up your 5 o’clock shadow, put a tie on, and be fresh-looking. She has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
· Be a little gay and a little more interesting for her. Her boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
· Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your wife arrives.
· Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
· Over the cooler months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for her to unwind by. Your wife will feel she has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for her comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
· Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures, and she would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of her arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
· Be happy to see her.
· Greet her with a warm smile, and show your sincerity in your desire to please her.
· Listen to her. You may have a dozen important things to tell her, but the moment of her arrival is not the time. Let her talk first—remember, her topics of conversation are more important than yours.
· Make the evening hers. Never complain if she comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand her world of strain and pressure and her very real need to be at home and relax.
· Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your wife can renew herself in body and spirit.
· Don’t greet her with complaints and problems.
· Don’t complain if she’s late home for dinner or even if she stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what she might have gone through that day.
· Make her comfortable. Have her lean back in a comfortable chair, or have her lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for her.
· Arrange her pillow, and offer to take off her shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
· Don’t ask her questions about her actions or question her judgment or integrity. Remember, she is the master of the house and as such, will always exercise her will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question her.
· A good husband always knows his place.

All little girls should be told they're pretty--even if they aren't.
--Marilyn Monroe
It makes sense, you know, if you spend the whole day making activist flyers and playing in a punk band with your dyke buddies, the rest of this crap may just seem....amusing.

before dh comes home. I have this entire collection of bows that I hang on the closet door in the kitchen where I keep all of MY cleaning supplies that way I can add a little rouge, lipstick and a matching bow right before dh comes home.
And I would never in my wildest dreams quesiton his judgment, I have no right and...I know my place.
This is actually verbatim from a home economics text book from the 1950's. 
Walking around an
early spring garden-
going nowhere.
-Kyoshi
I don't even want to show this to DH. His reaction would probably start the fight of the year.

So quiet down cobwebs, Dust go to sleep!
I'm nursing my baby and babies don't keep.
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