my list - a little more big than little
I am inviting gratitude and love into my life and I find it works. Here are some things I'd like to talk about:
1. I have been getting to know a lot more about my husband lately. He is really finding his voice. The best part is that I really like who he is, and what he's talking about.
2. Talking over my stuff with my brother last week cleared up a lot of angst. Almost everyone here had something to say that was sweet and genuinely helpful. Also helping is my brother's near-immediate and intuitive counter-response in seeking me out via email etc. I am not ready to respond to him like I would have before (welcoming him with open arms) but I feel much more calm and settled over this.
3. Today I found out my dad is quitting his chemo regime. This is mixed, but mostly painful. He will feel better and not be as sick (until / unless they find an alternate treatment); however, this means he's all the closer to succumbing to the disease (his latest PET scan shows a larger growth). I know my dad will die of cancer, and probably in the not-too-distant future. I pray this isn't what happens, I pray I have many more years with him. This makes me so sad but I am so glad I have moved closer to my parents. Daily we see them and grow richer in our relationships with them.
4. I have been enjoying my son so much. He will literally do something so naughty but I somehow miraculously "catch" him, and just laugh at how genuine he is. And yes, remove him from the nottiness and make him clean up, etc. It feels like being a grandparent or something: loving and guiding, enjoying every moment, not sweating the small stuff.
5. The above item makes me realize I need to find a few ways to connect with my daughter; I've been too hard on her lately.
6. I get my (once-every-8-weeks) hair cut today. I'm not all that excited because I'm trying to grow it out so it's sort of like trimming a mullet. But here's hoping something fabulous and beautiful happens in the salon.
I welcome anyone else's list.
"Macaroni - let me finish! - salad."
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egads. I am having a hard time today so this will be good for me.
1. After days of constant sibling rivalry, Sauce jr came up with his own solution for what to do when he feels like laying the beats to the Saucette: "Walk away". He is proud of himself for coming up with that idea and I am really proud of him too. Hopefully we will be able to incorporate this solution in many other areas of our lives.
2. Mr Sauce came home from work early today and biked to the sprinkler park with us for a picnic.
3. I can look at a picture of myself in a bathing suit and think 'holy crap I'm fat' and not skip a beat with the ice cream sandwich in my other hand.
4. I don't have strep throat like I thought I did.
5. I am still in love with Mr Sauce after all our trials and tribulations.
* I'm all fight and no flight *
I should give it a shot:
1. I remembered several different people I know who have good connections to good therapists and called them for referrals so that I can start to get some help with my emotional/psychological/spiritual load.
2. Lucy has slept from 9 or 10 p.m. to at least 5 a.m. four nights in a row.
3. After she gets up around 5 and nurses, she goes back to sleep till 7 or 8. SO DOES MAMA.
4. DH has been incredibly supportive during this time and I have been able to accept his generous love without second guessing.
5. People call to check on me. I don't often feel like talking to any of them but it's good to be cared for.
6. Lucy is smiling at me this week. First smiles. Like gold.
7. Griffin has been so sweet. We made a butterfly out of an old paper towel tube and some cardboard today, also 2 caterpillars out of an egg carton--just add glue, pom poms, pipe cleaner, and glitter.
8. The floors are clean. Thank you, DH.
That's all I've got for now.
i'm pulling my mood up by the bootstraps too today. here's a couple:
1. my girl is really talking with me lately. two-way verbal conversations in our little house are actually coming along nicely. her little voice is so precious and crazy and i can hardly comprehend that she won't always talk like this.
2. work was satisfying this morning in that schmoozy but genuine kind of way that sometimes happens when you encounter new people with new connections to offer you.
3. i am more and more confident in my ability to take care of and style my daughter's hair (been meaning to say i can relate to you on that, k.h.)i put it in two strand twists instead of cornrows this weekend and it is actually holding up really well. and it looks freaking adorable.
4. yesterday i didn't have to work my normal 11 hour day. the bad part is i have to work on friday which is my normal day off but yesterday was pretty and we played in the yard.
5. new washer and dryer.oh wonderful wonderful appliances.
6. my bd sucked me into drama again today and over the weekend. this is a grat b/c i can see the how & why of him sucking me in and i *hope* i will have the strength to avoid it in the future.
7. i really really love my yard this year. it's only my second summer in the house and my little improvements make me feel peaceful when i am there.
i will try and take a picture in the morning, working late tonight. tomorrow will be day 3 (nia's twists hold themselves which is nice) so they will probably be pretty fuzzy but cute nontheless. i bet sophie looks darling.
I can add some~!
1. My girl is just so amazing.
2. The day was sunny and I went for a long drive for work to a town I rarely get to see, beautiful.
3. Dried apricots!
4. Last night I went for a loonng walk and today my butt is sore, this is a good thing. I feel like I'm waking up again physically.
5. REally figuring out my job these last few days, it will be awesome to get everything in order (just in time for mat leave!!)
6. Mr. picked DD up from daycare and hung out with her for 2 hours before they came home. I was lonesome, but I loved it anyways.
we've got to let love rule
~l. kravitz
*bliss*
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I put my daughter's hair in two-strand twists today too! Let's do it again tomorrow and post pictures! I was so proud of my twists and in fact another mom asked HOW I DID IT. That is the first time ever someone's asked me how I did some hair thing I figured out on my own (other stuff peeps have asked me about referred to styles Ralph came up with and taught me).
"Macaroni - let me finish! - salad."