I am also in the I hate doing dishes crew.
However, I am often the queen of short cuts. Here's my example: Last nite I made dinner, Chicken and red and yellow peppers with pasta. But I cheated, I sauteed the chicken and peppers, then made a box mix of white shells and cheese, but added extra water, and oregano and Half and Half, my hubby thinks I make this sauce from scratch,lol but I really just thin out the cheese sauce from the box mix. This is sometimes the case with my Homemade food, its a little sneaky. But my family does not know.
"Have a safe lunch, use a condiment."

not sure how dirty this is but cooking is very chaotic with me -- it freaks people out to watch me in action.

examples:

1. I cut things in my hand and toward my hand (like I will hold an apple and cut toward my hand)
2. I am generally a spaz, always dropping things, spilling things, boiling over pots, etc
3. on top of 2, I am always trying to save time by multitasking and it gets even more hectic
4. I believe in the alchemy of weird and spontaneous combinations of ingredients -- so people will come in and get really confused by the honey, coconut milk, and cayenne pepper on the counter when I am just making spaghetti sauce (bwoohahahaha) -- but then it turns out good.
5. If I am trying to follow a recipe, I always end up forgetting a major step or ingredient, not sure why -- so I always try out recipes on my husband first before preparing them for company (I usually remember the second time around).

The dirtiest secret of all is that the best food ever comes from forgetting and improvising. How like life.

I hate to cook. I'm very good at it but i can't stand the work that goes into it, the cleaning afterwards and no one realizing how much work went into it. It makes me feel like i should just be buying the Annies boxed mac n cheese every other night but then, damn, i'd have a pot to clean!

My dirty secret. I'm a good cook/baker but i don't like it or enjoy it. Even while i'm eating. Well, nevermind. I do like to eat....

I always felt bad for him too but he liked it. Lol he wishes I were a little more like that.
I guess I am cocky because I feel no shame about any of my habits, which include strong arming Dave into doing most of the cleanup. Okay one thing, if something comes out too shitty~too burnt, dry whatever I have been know to chuck it at the wall.

I dislike doing dishes and cleaning out the fridge, yet am too lazy to do it every time I want it done. This results in me asking my husband to do these things from time to time (I would say the workload on this is split about 60 / 40, me doing the lion's share).

Sometimes I wish I was just AWESOME and cooked these great meals AND kept my kitchen neat as a pin, instead of asking for my husband to clean to my standards. I mean sure, the fridge has to be cleaned out and dishes have to be done. But if I'm feeling a niggling irritation that the kitchen floor isn't clean then *I* should clean it, eh?

I think sometimes I work too hard and have too high of standards; this means I become over-analytical and burn out (mentally) by the end of the day. Not the worst thing in the world but not exactly where I want to be, either.

"Macaroni - let me finish! - salad."