why do people take my dislike of strollers so personally?
I just gotta ask. I am a tall lady (5 '10) and most fold up compact strollers are too short for me and I live in a tiny house so big strollers are kind of a hassle. That said I have one of each and use them for long walks or when I pick up groceries so I don't have to carry a kid AND a load of groceries at the same time. I really like baby wearing for a few reasons, especially with little babies cause you can keep them warm and asleep for long periods of time and cause it feels nice. But I am not like some big baby wearing freak who thinks it is the only way to go, it just works well for me.
But lots of people seem to be really annoyed when I don't use a stroller. Why? Even more annoying is the freedom they feel to comment on it or question me on my baby transportation choices. Here are some examples:
I was heading to the asian supermarket around the corner of my house with the saucette in the backpack. The asian market is really crowded with narrow aisles and full of folks buying tasty food. All I had to pick up was some red thai curry paste (awesome beef and pinapple skewers for dinner!) I ran into one of my neighbors and we were hatching plans to capture this local stray cat and get him fixed so he would stop spraying the front of my house and generally harassing every one when another neighbor, I'll call her Betsy, came walking along. The first thing she said to me was: "That has got to be heavy. Don't you have a stroller?" I explained that it wasn't really heavy and because the backpack has a frame the weight is distributed really well so it is quite comfortable. So the next thing she says is "What you need is one of those jogging strollers" Huh? I don't jog. I said "well I don't really have anywhere to keep something like that, and I was just discussing with June (other neighbor) that this stay cat is spraying my stroller on the porch and it is driving me nuts" Betsy will not be deterred on her mission to make sure I own a huge stroller. She suggests "Why don't you keep it in the trunk of the car?" At this point I want out of the conversation quickly so I point out that there are 3 pre teen boys hanging out in her driveway just below her pre-teen daughters bedroom window and she took off to check that out.
Another similar situation happened when the Saucette was 3 months old. I was in a store that was only accesible by stairs by the by, when the cashier said to me "Isn't your baby uncomfortable all scrunched up like that?" I said "No, she likes it". The cashier then said "Isn't that thing heavy?" referring to the sling. "Not really" I replied, now feeling annoyed "it's actually easier for me than a stroller". She rolled her eyes at me.
anyway, if you hate slings and the such, maybe you can fill me in as to why some people feel so threatened by my infrequent stroller use.
* I'm all fight and no flight *
- mrs. sauce's blog
- Login or register to post comments
Yeah, really, I don't know what's up with the sling-haters. I had a funny comment a few weeks ago...I was holding E in a hip-sling, my two hands free to do stuff with the other kids...and someone asked me, "do those things really work?" Hm, let's see...he's successfully attached to me right now, right? DUH.
and i actually used/use a stroller a lot 'cuz i have a bad back. even still, when i would be carrying my dd in a sling, people felt free to tell me i was going to suffocate her in there, and when i would be carrying her in a carrier, they felt free to tell me she was going to fall out and break her neck. someone actually squealed their car over and jumped out to tell me that once when we were waiting at a bus stop and she was doing her lean back thing in the ergobaby. so, all i can offer is empathy . . .
of course, folks also feel free to cut their eyes at me when dd is in a stroller, too - like i'm lazy and unfairly imprisoning her. some have made such remarks under their breath, even.
maybe we should just chalk it up to the ol' everyone-feels-entitled-to-judge-everything-mamas-do thing?
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
www.walkingthewalls.blogspot.com
dragon knows dragon
"if i pass for other than what i am, do you feel safer?" ~ lani ka'ahumanu
dragon knows dragon
our is too short for my ma to push comfortably, and she's only 5'3"!
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
www.walkingthewalls.blogspot.com
dragon knows dragon
I got the same shit about strollerlessness too, sauce.
I still put dd in a sling sometimes when she's being too clingy and I don't want to have to hold on to her so much
fuck em
( OH YEAH, and you are totally a communist)
"If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might go from day to day without finding shit in our hair." ~ David Sedaris
"If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might go from day to day without finding shit in our hair." ~ David Sedaris
is the $900 Bugaboos? WTF? Out here it's nuts. Like the RANGE ROVER status thingy I guess?
That said I love my stroller FOR CARRYING MY PACKAGES! Genius. Kid runs her tush off and I donn;t have to lug shopping around. I've always felt it strange to see a 5 year old (legs akimbo) being pushed in a stroller?
Love Ergo's and carriers/slings, but realize they are not for everyone. If you have any spine issues, etc.
I will miss my stroller at some point purely for hauling reasons, but I guess I cuold upgrade to the metal granny carts?
.
there is altogether way too much cash where I live and people push brand-name strollers around like they are cars. Considering the fact that I think my car might be worth less, at this point, than a bugaboo, I find the bugaboos pretty annoying. Like even if they are cool, are they $900 worth of cool? But maybe deep down I am just jealous that people have so much discretionary income.
But I digress.
Mrs. S, the issue of people commenting on strollers vs. slings is that freaking annoying age-old issue of people sticking their noses where they don't belong -- I feel like ever since I was visibly pregnant, and now that I have a small child, people just think it is their right to comment away. I usually just smile and nod while mentally gouging their eyes out with letter openers, but that is just my solution.
"I usually just smile and nod while mentally gouging their eyes out with letter openers, but that is just my solution."
Thanks for a good laugh!!
"Everything looks perfect from far away." - The Postal Service
WTF is a bugaboo??? I'm going to have to check these out to see what you guys are talking about. I can't imagine a stroller that costs $900. Does it have those fancy spinning rims or something?
and whenever I have her on my back in the ergo people have to make some comment about how I'm hurting my back...then go on to kind of imply that I'm putting my own back health at risk to spoil my child...finally, to a friend, who kept pushing, I was like, you know they didn't always have strollers and people survived...I think I'll be ok, and it really is more comfortable to carry her in the ergo than on my hip with no carrier!
I am having the same thing going on. This is my third kid, so a sling is working wonderfully for me. We have a stroller, but I've used it once so far. Every time I wear her, someone asks me, "Is that safe?" "Isn't she uncomfortable?" "Isn't she hot?" And then when I answer no. They seem pissed off that it's working out. What's up with people? After a conversation with a lady in the grocery store yesterday about it, I told her it can hold my daughter up to age 3 and she said, "oh you won't want to be carrying her around that long." Uh, excuse me? Do I know you? Do you know my preferences? People are nuts. "Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we're here we might as well dance".- Maya Angelou
"Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we're here we might as well dance".- Maya Angelou
The only thing I can think of to explain the annoying behavior you describe is that these people must have small minds, and must be threatened by anything beyond the "normal" stroller usage they see every day. I've used both sling and stroller and have never gotten any flack for that, particularly - but it never ceases to amaze me the idiotic remarks people make. It really annoys me that strangers feel so free to comment on other strangers' parenting abilities, down to the most insignificant things. Women have been strapping their babies to their bodies for millions of years. It's not like you're driving around with the infant seat on the roof of your car. Sorry you have to deal with that, Mrs. Sauce!
"Everything looks perfect from far away." - The Postal Service
the only thing I can think of is they probably got burned by the sling police, to be so snotty about it. I remember when ibop was a baby I used a Snugli...the sling police wasn't as strong as it is now but even 18 years ago certain folks were very uptight about what kind of sling to use and hated strollers.
Or maybe they were just haters, who knows?
I like strollers and slings myself.
Fitness Pics!
I don't like to drive, so I push my daughter in a jogging* stroller several miles daily. The stroller is our mode of transporation. She walks with me sometimes, but she mostly rides. Of course I get some flack for pushing a four and a half year old kid in a stroller. So, there ya go. You can't win with some people. And we never will as long as we are women, mothers, and individuals who go against what people accept as the norm.
* Oh, Maude, no; I'm not a jogger. I just wanted a stroller that will comfortably accomodate a preschooler, that I can push through snow drifts, that will hold plenty of groceries, and that will allow me to walk my ass all over town.
I just got two such sling comments on my walk that I just returned from. I also got an, "aren't those so much better than strollers?". hehe.
Well, the "stroller people (?)" who have commented to me just can't seem to understand why I don't need a ton of shit loaded onto the bottom of a handicapping childcarrying device. Especially when they find out that I cloth diaper. I just shove 2 diapers into my purse with a plastic bag and put the kid in the backpack and we're off. Some of the moms in the groups I go out with are loaded up with kid stuff, and so often times, they make comments to me about how I must be having a hard time getting "organized," and how I must not be able to stay out for long...considering that I only have him in the sling or whatever.
I dunno. The other mamas that I know who use slings mostly (including myself) are always talking about what a pain in the ass strollers must be, and how much room they take up, etc... so it's probably just one of those things that whatever you've chosen to do makes sense to you and you can't understand the other person's point of view or experience.
"The Universe Molds Itself To Prove Your Beliefs"
"Fundamentally the markswoman aims at herself" DT Suzuki
Sometimes I think I'm just being paranoid, but now I KNOW that there is a sling-wearin' mama posse dissing my handicapping-childcarrying-device!
I can't stop myself from jumping in here and disagreeing with the assertion that "whatever you've chosen to do makes sense to you and you can't understand the other person's point of view or experience." Actually I do understand why a mama would want to use a sling or a stroller or a car or alternately use all three. We all do whatever works for us and our kids.
""Actually I do understand why a mama would want to use a sling or a stroller or a car or alternately use all three. We all do whatever works for us and our kids.""
eheheheee...i do all three. just tonight as we walked to the store, i had him in his sling while dh pushed the stroller. the stroller comes in handy for loading up groceries. aaahhhh yeah...
"Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane."
-The Scorpions
"Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane."
-The Scorpions
I get that a lot. We have a stroller, a great one that we love that was affordable, but I can't figure out when or where to use it.
I used a new native sling when he was smaller, we use the ergo a lot or I carry him on my hip or he walks. I keep thinking "maybe later we will use it" but it hasn't happened yet. For a while we would go for walks around the feild we lived it, me and my husband pushing the stroller with the kid in it. My husband has never liked babywearing, but I think it's easier.
I get a lot of comments about how he's heavy, how I won't carry him for much longer and so on (and on and on).
Is it weird guilt (when it comes from other mothers)? I don't know.
We didn't use his infant carseat as anything but a carseat and that freaked a lot of people out too. EEEK! she's carrying her baby by HAND!
carrying the baby in the car seat thing. it's heavy and awkward and puts your kid at like knee height and set to be bumped and poked by all sorts of things you're not looking at 'cuz they're at knee height and to the side of you.
i guess that's my contribution to the incomprehension of other choices aspect of the discussion. can anyone enlighten me as to the benefits of carrying your infant around in their car seat?
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
www.walkingthewalls.blogspot.com
dragon knows dragon
but I have to admit that there were a couple times when I found it convenient-- not, mind you, to *carry* the heavy thing around-- but to keep DS in it when he was an infant. I briefly attended a mommy and me class for my then 1 year old when ds#2 was born, and it was convenient to bring the little one into the class room in the car seat and let him sleep there while I ran around and romped with DS#1. Also at the grocery store, sometimes it was easiest for me to set the car seat on the cart while I shopped. By no means did I keep him in the car seat at all times. I much more often carried him in a pouch during his first year, which was fine, but it sometimes got to be a strain-- I just had a flashback to that first year and having to keep up with DS#1 at the playground while effectively being 13 months+ pregnant, so the car seat occaisionally gave me a break. I guess one thing to keep in mind when seeing parents doing something that doesn't quite jive with one's own style is that you're not seeing the whole picture of how they parent, and why they made one particular choice at that one moment.
i wasn't thinking folks carrying babies in car seats were bad people or anything - i was just genuinely at a loss as to the possible benefits of the choice. thanks for pointing some of them out.
"if i pass for other than what i am/do you feel safer?" ~lani ka'ahumanu
www.walkingthewalls.blogspot.com
dragon knows dragon
** "My husband has never liked babywearing, but I think it's easier"
Same here! I love it. I have a couple slings and would prefer to use them than that big clumsy stroller!
I haven't gotten any negative feedback from babywearing. Most people are curious as to where I bought the ones I have.
I just posted something on another site about this same thing. I'll have to look it up and repost it here.
i don't encounter that a lot. strangers are usually quite cute about it. they think its 'neat'. my own family on the other hand- whew. "why are you always carrying him around in that thing? he's a big boy now. how do you expect him to learn to walk?", shit like that. to that i say, "mind your bizz. who said i want him to learn how to walk?"
"Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane."
-The Scorpions
I just thought of something else that might explain why they were so adamant about this. ibop was a very light baby and toddler, she felt like she had hollow bird bones for a long time so I had no problem carrying her. I carried her in a frontal pouchi until she was 3ish. sbop and tbop on the other hand felt like they had stones for bones from birth. I could only carry them in a sling for a few months then I used a stroller mostly after that. if my first baby had been like that I probably would never attempted using any kind of pouch/snugli/sling...so I was thinking maybe these women had experiences like that. and were just projecting how they felt carrying a heavy baby onto you.
they just used strollers themselves, and wonder why someone would do something different. So they ask, not realizing there's already pressure around this issue.
***the United States is one of only four out of 168 countries studied to not have some form of paid family leave for new moms. We join Swaziland, Papua New Guinea, and Lesotho in not having that policy in place. ***
I think some folks are opposed to it because they associate it with "dirty hippies" and foreigners. I bought 3 different types of slings (and 2 strollers) and if they don't kill my messed up back, I'll wear them every chance I get. I love the idea of having free hands and being close and snuggly with the impending baby boy, but I think some people really do see slings as some kind of radical parenting statement that might possibly have something to do with subversive thought. I always think they see slings like birkas and turbans! Who knows what is lurking under there??? LMAO!
so i can't help you. i am at a total loss at how it is that people get so invested in other people's mundane choices. i'm genuinely confused and confounded by it.
"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." -- Maureen Dowd
Navigation
Who's online
Online users
- maggles
Who's New
- BeachBunny
- gayle.mallinger
- Mamapocket
- mjcwriter
- addie smith
ha ha the sling police!
"ma'am, I am going to ask you to step away from the stroller. put your hands down slowy and BACK AWAY FROM THE STROLLER"
* I'm all fight and no flight *